Sunday, December 28, 2008

West Coast, No Coast

I am holding my nose while writing this post. That’s right, I am typing one-handed. I was trying to get my picks in for the NFL games this weekend and started looking at the standings for the west division teams in both conferences.

It is a really good thing that I haven’t eaten yet.

How was I not aware of this? How am I so out of touch with the NFL this year? When did the AFC and NFC West Division teams become so bad? The eight teams that we are talking about are Denver, San Diego, Kansas City, Oakland, Arizona, Seattle, San Francisco, and St. Louis. Oh, you may want to put down any sharp objects for the next few minutes and consider the following…

Of the eight teams in the two divisions, only Arizona and Denver currently have winning records.
Arizona will host a playoff game next weekend, and they have lost 3 of there last 4 games by a combined 130 – 41. I saw the games and the score does not indicate how bad the beatings really were.

Only one team – San Diego – has scored more points this year than their opponents. San Diego is 7 - 8 heading into today’s games.
Denver is the only team of the eight with a winning record against out-of-conference teams.

Of the eight teams, St. Louis, San Francisco and Oakland have already had coaching changes and only San Francisco has made a permanent change.

Holmgren was on a farewell tour already, so we are going to have a coaching change in Seattle.

When all is said and done, we could have as many as six of the teams change coaches this off-season -- only Shanahan and Wisenhunt appear safe.

Either San Diego or Denver will host a playoff game next week.

Not only is it likely to two 11 win teams will be on the road in the first week of the playoffs because of the putrid west coast teams, but it appears that at least one 11 win team is not going to make the playoffs!

I don’t know how I missed this. If not for the NY Jets going 0 – 4 against the NFC West this year, it would be a lot worse. This is awful and I understand why people complain about the division structure being bad for sports and playoff seeding.

I should point out that I am happy with the divisional/conference structure in sports. Win your division and you should get an opportunity to move on. Don’t win your division and I am not sure that you deserve to be considered for a championship run. I have been very consistent about this position in Pro football, college football, and baseball. Wildcard teams are really only there because of television money and I think it devalues sports championships.

Having said that, even I can’t believe how bad the west coast teams are! I know that this stuff is cyclical, but come on…these teams are awful. I will steal from others with this closing but all eight teams should just ride off into the sunset. Since they are on the west coast, that simply means drowning in the Pacific and erasing both divisions.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Why the NFL Rules!

This will be an awful post. Hell, just look at the picture of that water retention poster boy to the left. I have no coherent thought to express, just a few random thoughts on a College Football Bowl season that is both surprisingly exciting and amazingly depressing to this point.

We aren't even half way through the 34 bowl games scheduled for this year and I am already peeved. Oh yeah, 68 of the NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision's (FBS) 119 schools are playing in bowl games this year and we are only on game 11.

Remarkable.

THIS is the result of a meaningful regular season? Really?

What did BYU fans do for fun while in Las Vegas last week? What idiot thought that was a great idea? I understand that alot of this is due to conference affiliations, but shouldn't someone at the Las Vegas bowl have thought about calling Boise or El Paso and working out a trade?

I am watching the Emerald Bowl right now. Why? How the hell do I know. Not only do I not care about either team, but I am enraged that we won't even know who the better team is at the end of this game. Miami has five suspended players and might as well be playing on California's campus. Why did one of my two current man crushes suspend the players? Who cares. THE GAME DOESN'T MATTER! Miami is going to be a college football powerhouse again very soon, but we will never know based on this game.

By the way, the reason that I love Randy Shannon so much is that 1) the former players love what they are seeing in recruiting and in talent, and that means a lot; and 2) I LOVE his recruiting philosophy...no losers. He only recruits kids that have won a lot at every level. He has 6 freshmen on the roster from the 15-0 National Champion Miami Northwestern team. I am a huge fan!

Notre Dame finally won a bowl game. Yeah. Do you think another team in the country played a more important exhibition than the Irish? How could you tell? Jimmy Claussen was in that game forever. Charlie Weiss looked more scared for his job coaching that game than he has at any other point in his tenure there.

If we just let West Virginia play bowl games, they would be the best team in the country. I don't know what that is about, but if you draw WVU in a bowl, buckle up.

Are you aware that Florida State won 11 consecutive bowl games from 1985 t0 1995. Damn! Oh, and they pounded an overrated Wisconsin team today. You know, college football is so much better when all three Florida teams are relevant.

How important can bowl games really be? This is a serious question. We are lead to believe that the regular season is made more valuable by the current bowl structure and the progression to a championship is that much better. But let me ask this question...how often do you see coaches taking new jobs PRIOR to the bowl game being played? It happens all of the time! This year, Florida and USC have lost coordinators prior to their games. FLORIDA IS IN THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME! I will never understand this.

So, why did I start this post? Well, because next years BCS standings will be partially driven by what happens in these 34 exhibition games. Remember, the first human polls come out before any team takes the field, and as much as people would have you believe otherwise, the human polls are the basis for the BCS. The computers calculate strength of schedule based on perceived strength of teams...from human polls.

Let's look at a couple of teams from this year's preseason top 25. Georgia was the #1 team in the country based on a bowl win over an over matched Hawaii team and a large number of returning starters. Other overrated teams included Clemson, Auburn and Missouri who all had impressive bowl showings all ended up in the preseason top 12. What can you look forward to next year? Notre Dame as a preseason top 10 team. Save us.

I already flip-flopped on the BCS didn't I? Good. I hate it even more today.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

From the three of us at We Make It Rain, to all of our loyal readers and commenters, we wish you a very Merry Christmas!!! Have a great time doing all of your lovely family things. I will report back later on two specific things about Christmas: 1) presents; and 2) Santa Con, which I just recently discovered.











Monday, December 22, 2008

Girl of the Week

For this lovely Christmas week, I present to you, the equally lovely Brit, Louise Redknapp.






Saturday, December 20, 2008

Never Forget Landry (NFL)


As the legacy of Texas Stadium comes to a close this season, let's take a moment to remember one of the Godfathers of the NFL - Tom Landry. Forget Jerry Jones and the makeshift catastrophe they call the Cowboys now, and remember the Man that invented the 4-3 and changed the NFL forever.

He was a couple of plays from having the NFL's most prized item being named after him...

1. Invented the 4-3 with Sam Huff moving back 2-3 yards from center and causing all kinds of blocking problems.

2. This was to counter his peer's design (the original zone blocking running scheme) - the "run to daylight" plan of Vince Lombardi.

3. A couple of Famous Quotes:

"When you want to win a game, you have to teach. When you lose a game, you have to learn."

"Leadership is getting someone to do what they don't want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve.

4. Although I am a Cowboys fan through and through, I hope Jerry Jones has a special seat in hell for his rude dismissal of Landry.

5. 29 years - Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys: 270 wins - 2 Superbowls.

Quote from another NFL great - Mike Ditka
"He ways always the epitome of Fairness, Honesty, and Integrity"

He also faced a much smaller NLF at the time, but one that featured the greatest coach of all time and the great running back of all time. He did win 2 superbowls in that time.

S0 - Farewell to Texas Stadium and - How 'Bout them Cowboys?!!!


Friday, December 19, 2008

The Next Katie Holmes

Before I start the crux of this post, I want to write first about my morning. I get into the car, start driving for my 45-50 minute commute. I enjoy the silence for a bit, then I decide to turn on the radio. I am not yet advanced enough to have purchased satellite radio. This is for a number of reasons: (1) I don't want to pay for radio; (2) I listen to some specific sports talk shows (both national and local); (3) I am tangential friends with one of the local morning DJs, so I like listening to his show; and (4) I love my CDs (and everything else downloaded to an iPod).

Anyway, this morning, I turn on the radio and it is already pre-set to a station I don't normally listen to, but I must have been listening to last night. I immediately recognize the song, at its beginning, and the lyrics flow:

OPP, how can I explain it
I'll take you frame by frame it
To have y'all jumpin' shall we singin' it.
O is for Other, P is for People scratchin' temple
The last P, well, that's not that simple.

Just a good start to the day. Anyway, I am doing with sharing.

Earlier this week, TMZ had photos of the not-so-heterosexual Rod working out and other things. (Is that more PC that Gay-Rod?). I would provide a link to the pics, except for the fact that I don't go to TMZ.com. (I happened to see the information on With Leather, I believe). Nevertheless, once A-Rod appeared on TMZ, I realized one thing ...

HE IS THE MALE VERSION OF KATIE HOLMES


Think about it. He is incredibly talented at what he does (just so long as it isn't October), yet ends up chasing after someone he idolized for being sexy while growing up (maybe even had her picture on his wall), takes the opportunity to start dating her even though she isn't even close to being a portion of what she used to be, his new significant other practices a widely criticized/humorized sect of a religion, she is bat-shit crazy, and yet, this relationship makes him even more of a celebrity, even to the point where photos of him working out make celebrity websites and mags.

Now granted, Kabbalah and Scientology are completely different animals, but if in the above paragraph you replaced any reference of A-Rod with Katie Holmes and all references to Madonna with Tom Cruise, it is still the same paragraph.

A-Rod, do yourself a favor and heed the warning signs. Look at poor Katie Holmes and don't be doomed to repeat history.

And for those that are going to ask, yes I wrote this simply for the line, "A-Rod is the male version of Katie Holmes", well that and to post the Katie Holmes pictures.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Why I Love College Basketball

Syracuse losing to the new Pride of the Horizon League: Cleveland State (watch out Butler) - SERIOUSLY? I will take a moment here to revel in the absolute pain and disbelief that one particular 'Cuse Alum is feeling today. Coming off a absolute beatdown of tourney perennial Long Beach State University 79-55, the Orange simply forgot what a basketball was. Forget about the last-second shot to win and focus on the true tragedy that was how POORLY the Orange played at home the WHOLE game.

The cherry on the cake is not the last second 3/4 court length shot that was nuttin' but net to win - but the seriously crappy AV setup at the post game and Jimmy looking like he is passing a kidney stone. Oh the humanity...!


Monday, December 15, 2008

Girl of the Week

I present to you your lovely Girl of the Week: Romanian model Madalina Ghenea.









Thursday, December 11, 2008

Everybody's All-American


Ok, so maybe not everybody's All-American, but it is my list. So I am going to do this my way. Instead of just the best at each position, I will assemble a team, NFL-style 48 man roster. Starters in all caps, with explanations for those that I think need it. I am also going to be conscious about running this like a college (think "keeper league"), so that some of the backups may not be the second or third best at their position, but are freshmen and/or sophomores that will be returning for a couple of years. Plus, I can only base this upon what I have seen this year. Now granted, several bars and I become very good friends during football season, but I do see some teams more than others. You don't like it? So what, I don't care.


QB - COLT MCCOY - Texas, Sam Bradford - Oklahoma, Robert Griffin - Baylor

Yes I went with three Big 12 South QBs, but who can blame me as the Big 12 South ruled quarterback play this year. Did you want me to select David Johnson from Tulsa? Griffin gets the third nod over Tebow and Harrell, or even Nate Davis b/c he is a true freshman. An exceptional athlete (third in the 400 meter hurdles as a freshman - he enrolled a semester early - at the NCAA championships). He is going to be amazing. Just the player the All-American teams need in the pipeline.

RB - KNOWSHON MORENO - Georgia, Shonn Greene - Iowa, Donald Brown - Connecticut, Jacquizz Rodgers - Oregon State, Johnathan Dwyer - Georgia Tech, Percy Harvin - Florida

The first three should be self-explanatory. For Rodgers, he toasted the USC defense and is only a freshman. Harvin? Well, he deserves his spot on the team, and although technically classified as a WR, he has more rushing than receiving touchdowns, and is very effective carrying the ball. Besides, I could have easily had just named him a WR, and selected only 4 running backs. By the way, since this is college, no true fullback.

WR - MICHAEL CRABTREE - Texas Tech, DEZ BRYANT - Oklahoma State, A.J. GREEN - Georgia, Austin Collie - Brigham Young, Jeremy Maclin - Missouri, Darius Heyward-Bey - Maryland

Yes, Big 12 laden again, but so was most of the passing yards this season. A.J. Green may be a controversial pick, but I liked what I saw out of him a little more than Julio Jones. Maclin can double as the kick returner.

TE - JERMAINE GRESHEM - Oklahoma, Aaron Hernandez - Florida

Every time I turned around Hernandez was absolutely wide open.

OL - MICHAEL OHER - Mississippi, ANDRE SMITH - Alabama, DUKE ROBINSON - Oklahoma, JEREMY PERRY - Oregon State, CEDRIC DOKERY - Texas, Antoine Caldwell - Alabama, Phil Trautwein - Florida, A. Q. Shipley - Penn State

Who the hell knows? I wanted to pick a Pouncey from Florida, but I can't tell the difference between them anyway.

K - LOUIE SAKODA - Utah

I just couldn't pull the trigger on selecting the kid from Florida State (Gano). Besides, Sakoda can also punt if I want to later free up a roster spot.

DL - BRIAN ORAKPO - Texas, GEORGE SELVIE - South Florida, GREG HARDY - Mississippi, FILI MAOLA - USC, Myron Pryor - Kentucky, Austin English - Oklahoma, Everette Brown -Florida State, B.J. Raji - Boston College, Mitch King - Iowa

Yes, this is the beginning of lots of USC Defenders being selected.

LB - REY MAUALUGA - USC, BRANDON SPIKES - Florida, BRIAN CUSHING - USC, Mark Herzlich - Boston College, James Laurinaitis - Ohio State, Sean Spence - Miami

Spence is going to be a beast, plus, he is my one homer pick.

DB - ALPHONSO SMITH - Wake Forest, MALCOLM JENKINS - Ohio State, ERIC BERRY - Tennessee, TAYLOR MAYS - USC, Rashad Johnson - Alabama, William Moore - Missouri, Vontae Davis - Illinois

P - Let's just keep Sakoda

Any thoughts on your All-America team (not related to Tim Tebow)? Please place them in the comments.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Yes! Like a Woman, I Change My Mind...


It's always great when you take a position, you are resolute, and...well...something makes you, well, not resolute anymore.

I am off of the BCS. That's right, I am no longer embracing that farce. This excellent piece of sarcasm slapped me back to reality.

One might ask why that is the case. Seriously, it is only days after I laid out a case for accepting the BCS as something that "I could get with."

Well, a Congressman from Texas has swooped in to save me from from myself. To show me that even in the most dire of times, there is always hope. My new BFF, U.S. Representative Joe Barton (Rep-TX) has introduced a bill that essentially looks to destroy the BCS. I couldn't be happier if I had six strippers, a hot tub and eight plasma tv's at my disposal.

I guess this means that I should lay out the definitive proposal for a college football playoff system. Clearly, the world is at odds over how it should look and the format that ESPN is currently running with is 100% wrong. It can't work because college administrators won't let it work.

Let me clear your confusion and tell you how a playoff system will work.

First, college administrators will not support a system that a) does not reward the regular season, and b) does not utilize the current bowl (or BCS) structure. Second, the BCS conferences HAVE to buy into anything that is proposed -- in other words, you have to pry the Rose Bowl from the decaying hands of the Big Ten and Pac10 Conferences. Third, this sucker must make money.

Having said that, here is my proposal:

I am proposing an eight team playoff that includes the following -- the winners of the six BCS conferences, the top team from the next four conferences (mid-majors), and Notre Dame (if they qualify) or the second mid-major team. The BCS standings would not be publicized until after Thanksgiving weekend and they would be used to determine the seedings.

I would add two more games to the BCS -- this would possibly be a rotation of the existing BCS cities so that two cities would get two rounds of the playoff and one city would get three rounds including the championship. This would limit the expenditure of any team advancing through the bracket.

I think that this would work. It satisfies any issue that a school/conference has traditionally had and it does nothing but generate cash. Who is not paying to see this?

Here is the flaw -- My system really does reward only teams that have great regular seasons. I am only taking conference champions. I don't care how a conference determines its champion, but it can't send more than one team.

Yes, you are interpreting that correctly. Under my system, Texas does not get to compete for a National Championship this year. Tough nooggies. But you know what? As good as I think Texas is, you have to make stops with seconds remaining in a game. Period.

Three rounds of games. That's it. Not 64 teams, no wild cards. Win your conference, then win a National Championship. Its the only way.

This Day in Sports History


As the Hot Stove League heats up with stories of C.C. Sabathia signing with the New York Yankees (like none of us saw this coming - really, "I want to play on the West Coast", "I want to stay in the National League where I can hit", I mean "I want to make a boatload of money!"), and Francisco Rodriguez cashing in with the New York Mets, let us gaze into yesteryear into what eventually turned out to be one of the most lopsided trades ever made during the baseball off-season.

On December 10, 1971, the New York Mets traded talented, but wild pitcher Nolan Ryan along with three other players to the artists formerly known as the California Angels for, drum roll please ...., Jim Fregosi. Let me repeat that for those of you that just fell on the floor and bumped your head causing short term memory loss. The Mets traded Nolan Ryan to the California Angles for Jim Fregosi.

All the Angels received was 138 wins, 156 complete games, 40 shutouts, 2,416 strikeouts, 5 All-Star appearances, and 4 No-Hitters in 8 years. Ryan eventually beat the hell out of Robin Ventura, and was ultimately elected to the Hall of Fame, on the first ballot. The Mets received, well, a future manager, who eventually managed, among others, Nolan Ryan.

I think that the Angels made out pretty well in that deal.

Is this the most lopsided trade in baseball history? I know Sinickal doesn't think so (Ernie Broglio for Lou Brock, right?). Place your worst trades ever in the comments. We don't even have to limit them to baseball.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Damn...Someone Has to Write About the BCS!

So, I am sitting in DC watching the excruciatingly long BCS Selection Show (Redskins-Ravens hasn't started yet), and I began to think that I should stop complaining about the BCS and embrace it.

What did he just say?

Yep, you heard me right. I am embracing the BCS. Understand that I am still hoping for a playoff system -- I even have a format developed. I just recognize that it is not going to happen.

Now, Pepster would be the first to ask how I arrived at this new place in my life. I will tell you that it was not easy. I actually had to do some research. And I hate doing research when I am not in the office. I would much rather just wing it and likely be wrong.

Anyway, here is how I got here:

1. The Big 12 South. Okay, it bugs me to no end that Texas was left out of the Big 12 Championship. And I was the first person screaming about the f&*king BCS screwing me out of a chance to see what I think is one of the three best teams in the country compete for a mythical National Championship. Only, it isn't the BCS that is at fault here...It is the f&*king Big 12!

What kind of conference finds itself in a position to let sportswriters, AD's, and computers determine who had the better regular season in division?

Well actually all of the major conferences do to some degree.

Damn!

And I thought I was onto something here. But come to find out, every major conference with a championship game has a tiebreaker step that goes to the BCS standings. I understand the reason for this. A conference would always want to put a team with the best opportunity to play in the BCS title game in it's conference championship.

Seriously though, could you ever imagine the NFL letting sportswriters determine who gets into the playoffs? No, they go to a coin flip -- you know, like real men.

2. The purpose of the BCS. Here is what really flipped me. I always forget that the sole purpose of the five game arrangement that is the Bowl Championship Series is to ensure that the #1 and #2 teams in country (based on polls and computers) play each other in a bowl game.

You know what? I can get with this.

It is not so long ago that we suffered with bowl games that were rigidly tied to conference affiliations. If Oklahoma and Florida were one and two in 1991, we would never know who was the better of the two since one would have been in the Orange Bowl and the other would have been in the Sugar Bowl.

Those days really sucked.

Quite honestly, prior to 1998, you had to hope that USC or Ohio State or Michigan wasn't any good because you wouldn't have seen them either. The Rose Bowl hadn't joined yet. So a Texas - USC match up could not have happened and those Fantasy Football bitches -- better known as Leinart, Young and Bush -- could never have put on the show they did.

So I embrace what the BCS for its intended purpose. I didn't care that Utah finished #6 in the country and neither should you. It is only important for those soon-to-be sun poisoned Utes fans that they get a slightly bigger payday than they would have gotten by excepting that Music City Bowl bid.

So now that I have established why I am embracing the BCS, let me tell you what I hate. I hate that the two best teams in the country will not be playing for the mythical national championship.

This is my opinion. It likely differs from most all "experts." And I will not argue about it.

In my opinion, the three best teams in the country are --in no particular order -- Florida, USC and Texas. Period. Note that I did not say Oklahoma. That's right. I think Oklahoma is a fraud and I will lay that case out at a later date.

So, my problem isn't with the BCS per se, it is with college football administrators that have accepted a system that penalizes one of the best defenses I have EVER seen because it plays in the PAC 10. My problem is accepting a system that does not reward your regular season; it rewards your last game.

Consider this: Why is losing to the 4th ranked team in the country worse today than in week 2 of the season? I am told that it is better to lose early than late (and the polls bear this out), but why does that make sense? Don't we know more about a team later in a season than we do at the beginning? Aren't you losing to better teams later than earlier?

I would argue that Alabama losing to Florida in the SEC Championship Game is a better loss than Florida losing to Ole Miss at home in September...Ole Miss Sucks!

So please...Tell me again why we don't want a college football playoff?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Gainesvegas, Florida


As some of you readers may recall, I had the opportunity to attend two home football games at the University of Florida this season. This came about because: (a) I love attending live sporting events; (b) its a college town with college co-eds; and (c) Racecar graduated from UF, and is thus incredibly brainwashed, indoctrinated or just a big fan, whichever one actually applies. Although the original plan was to blog from each of the games, too much drinking and a lack of actual maneuvering around campus contributed to a lack of stories for each of the two games, however, combining them into one post made much more sense. And the eve of the SEC championship game seems like the appropriate time. So that it's easier to read, I am going to treat the stories as if they happened in one weekend. For the record, the two games were against the University of Miami and LSU.

Each weekend we arrived, we would go to the Dragonfly in downtown Gainesville for dinner. A great place for sushi and people watching as everybody, and I mean absolutely everybody, tries to get in there on game weekends. We try to arrive by 6:00 - 6:30 at the latest, otherwise it's an incredibly long wait. From Dragonfly it's usually back to Racecar's friends, Steffan and Tera's house. Steffan and Tera are incredibly gracious hosts on game weekends, letting friends and acquaintances stay the night in their extra rooms and usually hosting a gameday party/cookout/kegfest the day of the game. Each of these two gamedays were no exception. Much love to Steffan and Tera.

After getting back to Steffan and Tera's, Racecar and I changed clothes from our trip (it's a good four hour drive, made a bit longer on game weekends), to go out for the evening. Steffan is a regular, well everywhere, but Racecar and I were to take leave of our hosts that evening to meet up with my boy KZ and his wife Amy. He is a UF alum, while Amy just puts up with him. KZ wants to meet at the Purple Porpoise (I know it is officially Gator City, but no self-respecting patron would ever call it that). For those not familiar with the Porpoise, it is a college bar, through and through, separated into 3 sections. The front looks like a regular restaurant/bar, with a long bar and tables to sit at. The middle section turns into a dance club at night, while the back is a pure bar, with televisions showing games, pool tables, video games, dart boards, etc. We saunter into the back for a number of reasons, but primarily because it is the least crowded. Racecar and I arrive first.

We decide to start the evening with a pitcher and a shot each, so I walk up to the bar to order. (Who am I kidding, we "started off" at Dragonfly). I walk to the bar to purchase our libations and I see a college kid wearing a t-shirt with a Republican elephant on it talking to three attractive females in brightly colored dresses about how the Republican Party under George Bush has abandoned its principles by overspending any administration in history. Even though I agree with that statement, I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Buddy, trust me on this one. It's great that you are political and involved, but I am sure that on game weekend these lovely ladies don't want to be discussing politics".

I know that he took the advice to heart, because as I went to order round 2, another pitcher with a patron for me (no training wheels), I hear him holding court with the same lovely young ladies. This time he is talking about music, particularly the Unda Surveillance song "On Deck". He is talking about the words to the song, but butchering the line "Got my Patron on Deck". Again, I intervene and tell him the proper line, "Got my Patron on deck". He says thanks, I turn to the bar, grab my shot, and tell him, "No, I am serious, my Patron was on deck". Sometimes it is just way too easy with college kids.

KZ and Amy arrive, with lots of their friends in tow. We have a good time, but its getting to be about time to liven the place up a bit. I walk over to the jukebox to play a PepSet. (I must give Sinickal the credit for first coining the phrase SiSet, but I have now co-opted it, as PepSet sounds better anyway). Now, I enjoy different types of music, but each has their own place. At around 10-10:30 on game weekend in a college bar, its time for some rhythm. I put on some Stevie, some Earth Wind & Fire (the greatest band of all time) definitely some Michael J (two songs in fact), a little U2 (Sunday, Bloody Sunday). I continued the set with Mary J. Blige, Outkast, Flo-Rida (for Racecar), Beenie Man and finished it up with Akon and two new ones by Kardinal Offishall and Lady Gaga. I know I had a few more. A pretty good set if I do say so myself. A kid named Edwin was standing behind me with some money, looked at me and said, "Great picks, now I don't have to play any songs". Now we just wait until my songs play.

As we are talking to our friends and imbibing some surprisingly expensive beers for a college bar, we see a completely obliterated couple come up to the jukebox (we are situated close to it) and make some plays. Only, it turns out, they paid extra to have each of their songs played "next". The first four were garbage, but then Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison" comes on, and they start screaming and dancing. I look at the guy, asked him if he selected this song, and he says "Yes, isn't it great?" My reply was, "Yeah, 1 out of 5 ain't bad". Too easy I tell ya.

After a bit more conversatin' (geez, Gainesville is rubbing off on my diction - no pun intended - Ok, maybe it was), the girls want to go into the dance club section of the bar. Only, it isn't playing any of what I would consider dance music. Toni Basil's "Mickey" was the first song I heard, then Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun". I look around and I see why they aren't playing any dance music as the young, mostly white crowd is flailing around aimlessly. Not much dancing really going on. In a (not so) completely unrelated note, Racecar may, or may not, have fallen a couple of times. For those of you that remember my post from last November, this could officially become a trend.

The next morning we wake up, have some breakfast and bring some bagels back to the household to help Steffan and Tera prepare for the party. It goes relatively swimmingly, except for the one guy who takes over the grill and immediately starts serving double cheeseburgers to everyone that requests a burger. Not that I minded, but then again, I didn't buy the burgers. He then looks back at the grill and sees two burgers that don't look right, so he just throws them into the bushes. Unfortunately, this clown didn't realize that Tera is a vegetarian, and those were her veggie burgers. Needless to say, Tera was hungry.

After some great afternoon drinking, we decide to head up to the stadium a few hours before kickoff for some official tailgating. This is incredibly easy for us to do as Steffan and Tera live six blocks from the Porpoise and the Swamp (the bar) and seven blocks from The Swamp (the Stadium). It's an easy two-legged commute, and an easier two wheel commute (bike taxi). We actually walk to the stadium and stop off at Pita Pit for a bite. If you have one near you, try it. While I stand in line, three obviously college age girls stand directly in front of me. One is on the telephone and the other two have rather disgusted looks on their face. While listening to half of the conversation, I surmise that the one on the telephone is trying to meet up with some guy. Right before hanging up, she says, OK, we will meet you at Mothers. The other two girls tell her that they don't want to go to Mothers, and proceed to leave the Pita Pit. The first one then shouts, "Wait, where is Mothers?" I answer her quickly, "Chicago". Didn't I tell you that sometimes it is just too easy with college kids?

We then head out to a pre-determined tailgate, hosted by the business partner of the brother of a friend of Racecar (or something like that). We get there, meet some people, have some drinks, and generally enjoy ourselves. Lots of music is playing, and as the song turns to Akon's "I Wanna Make Love (Na Na Na Na)", everyone proceeds to (try to) dance. After the interesting performances the previous night, and watching at this moment, I officially give Gainesville, Florida a nickname. Not the "Titletown, USA" that they wanted to steal from Green Bay, WI in the ESPN travesty, but rather, "Gainesville, Florida: The Town that Rhythm Forgot". Trust me, it is apropos.

From the tailgate we proceed to the game. As we are walking, we remember that a couple we know had a really bad spat earlier during the day. Why do we remember this? Because that couple is who got us tickets. Talking about awkward. Still enjoyed the games, as much as possible when the game is boring (Miami) and completely uncompetitive (LSU).

I don't want to get into the full rant now, as I am trying to work out a future post, but Florida fans, at least the ones in the stadium, are awful. Telling people to sit down during important plays because they are trying to watch the game. This seems to be a trend, as a similar situation occurred during last year's Capital One Bowl game versus Michigan.

Due to the lopsided scores, and our day long inebriation, we leave the game a bit early, stop and get some pizza, and take a bike taxi back to Steffan and Tera's house. Once everyone else returns, the partying continues until everyone passes out.

Now Steffan and Tera are great hosts, as I mentioned earlier, offering up spare bedrooms, couches and everything else available. On one of these occasions, Racecar and I were awarded the office. Much better than a couch or even the picnic table outside, we considered ourselves lucky, as the office had an air mattress. Unfortunately, Racecar and I are not the smallest couple in the world, and I think this had an effect on the air mattress, which wilted under our collective pressure (weight?). The entire night, each toss and turn proceeded to throw the other person around the mattress, or off of it entirely. Definitely an entertaining evening.

For those that like live sporting events, you can certainly do worse than a football game at the University of Florida. Just take my word for it, do not say anything bad about Tim Tebow. They get really touchy about that in Gainesville.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Breaking News: I am an East Coast Snob

I am currently sitting in my parents house in a time zone way behind my beloved EST. And guess what...I hate this place!

I hate getting out of bed and realizing that the noon college football games have already started before I have had coffee. And let me tell you, having your first cup of coffee after you have had your first beer is disturbing on a number of levels. Just trust me on this.

There is no getting out of bed and leisurely rolling into Saturday ESPN Gameday. If you have any social life, you have to set an alarm out here to make sure that don't miss Lee Corso donning the ridiculous costume of some team that he is picking that week or to make sure you see some of the great signs in the crowd.

This morning, I did set an alarm so that I wouldn't miss my favorite Sunday morning show -- The Sports Reporters. All I want on Sunday mornings is a little time to have some coffee, a breakfast sandwich and - on this morning - some banter about Charlie Weiss losing his job and some jokes about Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg...I fell back asleep shortly after the intro to the show.

Now? Now, I am just disoriented. I am in the 3rd quarter of the Giants - Redskins game and it isn't even afternoon yet. How in the hell do people drink out here?

Look, I understand the west coast philosophy that games are over at a reasonable time and that you can enjoy the rest of your evening. Or that it is just to hard to watch late games on the east coast and be functional the next day.

You know what? I am calling bullshit!

Why? Because I am never cranky the next day when I have stayed up til 2:00 am to watch a great game.

Tired? Sure.

Hungover? Probably.

But never cranky.

I am cranky like wife with PMS right now, because I missed my favorite show and was still drinking coffee at kick-off of the first games. Maybe I meant that I am cranky like Our Patron Saint sans strippers to rain on...who knows.

These are scars that may never heal. I can't wait to get back to the cold, dreary, crowded, crime-ridden northeast corridor. Yeah, home sweet home.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Girl of the Week

Well, didn't make it to the posts last week, but at least we can start this week off right. I present this week's Girl of the Week, Gaby Espino.



Monday, November 3, 2008

Girl of the Week

Sorry we have been dark for a while, just got really busy. I am going to try to make this week a little more eventful. Let's start off with our "Girl of the Week". I present to you: Julianna Knust.



Saturday, October 11, 2008

Girl of the Weekend

Grace Park (Boomer on Battlestar)






College Football Must See TV! These will all be very good if not great games to watch. My picks are my personal preference - who I will be rooting for to win.

Texas v. Oklahoma
My Pick: Texas

LSU v. Florida
My Pick: LSU

Tenn. v. Georgia
My Pick: Georgia

Okla St. v. Mizzou
My Pick: Okla St.

Penn St. v. Wisconsin
My Pick: Wisconsin

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Ole College Try

This is your weekly wrap-up of the college football season, told from a couple of days distance simply to let some of the stories simmer a bit and to gain a bit of perspective. I did watch quite a bit of games this weekend, although the replay and coaching issues during the Miami game may have discombobulated me for a while.

Heisman Watch (Big 12 QB edition - well except for the Defense)

Favorite - Chase Daniel - He has to be the odds on favorite now, unless he completely underperforms in a big conference game. Here is the only stat you need to see: Since he has started at QB at Missouri, they have not had a single three and out. NOT ONE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Sleeper - Colt McCoy - Texas - Normally a Texas QB could never be considered a sleeper, but with all the talented QBs in this conference, and since Colt McCoy is no Vince Young, this is where I will slot him for now. What? McCoy is leading the Longhorns in rushing? Probably not a good sign going into the Red River Battle, but is still impressive nevertheless.

Rising - Sam Bradford - Oklahoma - 372 yards and 2 TDs in a shellacking of Baylor. His yearly totals are 1665 yards and 18 touchdowns to date. You would think that he would be hard pressed to beat his freshman year 176.52 QB rating (which I think was the highest in college last year, but I am too lazy right now to look it up), except for the fact that his sophomore rating to date is 204.97. Read that again! Impressive huh?.

Falling - Todd Reesing - Kansas - He is having a nice season, and can no longer be considered an overachiever for last season. The same cannot be said about the Jayhawks, however.

Statistical Favorite - Graham Harrell - Texas Tech - There is a reason why I called this the Graham Harrell category earlier in the year. 454 yards and 6 TDs passing (plus 1 rushing) against Kansas State. He is also now the leading passing (yards) in Texas Tech history, having passed the prolific Kliff Kingsbury. Remember, this is the team that has passed every down for the past 33 years.

Defensive Leader - Nathan Peppers DT - South Carolina - Mississippi coming off its electric win over Florida, could have thought it was going to go on a roll to make it a very interesting SEC west battle. Peppers made sure that didn't happen by scoring on a 29 yard fumble recovery in the second quarter. This is all I can come up with, as I am holding this category for LSU's Ricky Jean-Francois Jean Luc Picard Rocket Richard Martin St. Louis Vincent Lecavalier makes good on his promise to hit Tebow really hard.

Player to Watch

Demaryius Thomas - Sophomore WR - Georgia Tech - He caught 9 passes for 230 yards in the Ramblin' Wreck's 27-0 shutout over Duke. But, more importantly, HE WAS THE ONLY YELLOW JACKET WITH A RECEPTION, as QB Jaybo Shaw completed 9 of 14 passes, all 9 to Thomas. I know a lot of receivers think that they are the only legitimate target when they step on the field. Apparently Thomas was correct. Jaybo, sounds like he should be my new favorite player.

My New Favorite Player

Sean Spence - LB - Miami - The Dude is absolutely everywhere. Just everywhere. Scored a very important TD against Florida State. Spence is going to be a star. Unless, of course, Ricky Jean-Francoise makes good on his promise. Then I'll have to retire this category.



Predicted BCS Championship Game Matchup

Oklahoma v. Alabama. With the continued emergence of Charles Scott, LSU should probably be here, and I would put them here now, but I just don't want to jinx them before this weekend's game. For now, song girls at play.


Rant(s) of the Week

1. Coaches that don't know how to work the clock when down more than 1 score. Randy Shannon had approximately a 40 yard field goal on fourth down with just over 2 minutes to go down 9. His kicker has been very good this year, and has been successful from over 50. He kicks the field goal, you try to get the onside kick, and if it is successful, you have 2 minutes to score a game winning TD. Instead, Shannon goes for it, ultimately scores the TD, but then only has 15 seconds left with no timeouts to score. The onside kick was unsuccessful anyway, but even if it was successful, no legitimate chance to score a TD. A field goal in that situation gives you the chance. Antone Smith's non-fumble call on the first TD drive notwithstanding. The play was reviewed, the ball was clearly on his hip well before going down. Ugggghhhhh!

Congratulations of the Week

To Utah - the Utes beat upstart Oregon State fresh off their upset of USC. Oregon State should have had the confidence to beat Utah, but yet, they maintained their chance at a BCS bowl with a 31-28 victory to go 6-0.

Underperformance of the Week

To Wisconsin - They failed to take advantage of a clearly underwhelming Ohio State team, losing 20-17.

Trivia Question of the Week

In honor of Bradford's atronomical, QB rating, ahem, Passing Efficiency Rating, who holds the highest single season PER and the career highest PER. This is for Division IA, folks.

Last Weeks Answer

The NCAA Division 1A record for most career games rushing over 200 yards is 11, held jointly by Marcus Allen, Ricky Williams and Ron Dayne.

Matchup(s) to Watch

1. LSU v. Florida - Two top 11 teams, LSU top 5 and undefeated, Ricky Jean-Francoise throwing down the Tebow gauntlet, 8:00 p.m. start time, the Swamp, plus, I'll be there. Definitely the matchup to watch. How and why CBS passed this game for the Tennessee - Georgia tilt, I will never know.

2. Texas v. Oklahoma - So maybe LSU/Florida isn't the most important game to watch this weekend. Showdown at high noon for Big 12 South supremacy, and an inside track to the national championship game.

3. Vanderbilt v. Mississppi State - Not because both teams are great or because this is a scintillating rivalry, but simply to see if Vandy can keep up its momentum and go 6-0 overall, and more importantly 4-0 in the SEC.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Pac Man Fever (Week 5 Edition)


Here are our stats for our man man Adam Jones, the Patron Saint of this here blog. He once again led the team in tackles, with 6 against the Bengals. He did drop a sure fire interception, that could have been a touchdown, though, on a play in which Carson Palmer was incredibly pissed at Chad Javon Johnson. ("His Mama call him Clay, Imma call him Clay"). Overall Pacman is 5th on the team in tackles with 20 (for a cornerback!), and tied for first on the team with 1 fumble recovery. He is only averaging 4.7 yards per punt return, having fielded 14 punts, with 1 fair catch.

Girl of the Week

Happy Monday everybody. Here is your girl of the week: Brazilian Carol Honorio.