Well, we have made it to the Finals, where the top 2 teams for most of the year have lived up to their expectations and defeated 62 other teams [Ed. Note - 66] for the right of playing for the national championship. But, before we get to the finals, there is golf, and an assortment of other wanderings around.
05:00 - Tony has a work meeting. The wonders of working for an international conglomerate for which time zones don't exist!
06:00 - Kev-O and Pepster awaken to see that every single person they each know has texted them about Calipari heading to Arkansas.
06:32 - Sinickal, Pepster and Kev-O head out to golf. Unfortunately Tony's back is not cooperating.
06:40 - Sinickal tells Pepster and Kev-O to remind him about Allison's outgoing voice-mail message from college. Pepster asks, why don't we just call her now. We do. She is a little under-the-weather and hoarse, and can't stop laughing about at our request. This is 4 minutes of hilarity, in which we don't ever hear what the message was. We have to wait until later.
06:46 - Allison calls Silas back and leaves her college outgoing message on his voice-mail so we all can hear. It was a personalized version among her and her roommate to Young MC's Bust a Move. Hilarious. And, a reason to post THIS!
06:52 - Enter Talking Stick. A little history behind it ...
06:58 - Tell the pro shop attendant that our 4th will not be with us because he threw his back out. We tell the attendant that we hope he can make the game tonight. Guy makes a funny joke about about whether or not Tony can play tonight so he could make a bet on the game. We all miss it. Need some coffee.
07:03 - Sinickal is looking forward to a round of just roasting Kev-O about Calipari going to Arkansas. Although Pepster is in the denial stage, Kev-O is clearly in the angry stage.
07:07 - Breakfast sandwiches in the recently renovated and re-opened clubhouse bar. Place looks amazing. Sandwiches are good, too. We realize we missed dinner last night.
07:50 - First tee. Radio Silence.
08:22 - Kev-O introduces Sinickal and Pepster to a "Transfusion."
08:55 - OK, so not completely radio silent, but the black guy tells the white guy, "I think it is a little flatter than you do," as they are both reading similar lengthy putts for birdie.
12:15 - Finish golf. Nice track. Kev-O played well. Sinickal loosened up as the round went on, and Pepster finished strong. Back at it tomorrow.
12:17 - One of the cart attendants tells the story of how he was clinically dead after an accident on August 17, 1999. We are not entirely sure where this story even came from, and Kev-O manages to walk-away without seeming rude, leaving Sinickal and Pepster to fend for themselves.
12:28 - Pass a restaurant called "Dilla Libre" which signage claims they are the "Quesadilla Champions of the World!"
12:32 - At a red light and the woman driving the car next to us has no left hand, yet she is working her phone and eating a burrito all while driving!
12:37 - Arrive at home to clean up and head back out for lunch and Glendale - THE FINALS!!!
12:45 - Kev-O decides he is going to lean into the skid and just wear Kentucky gear and tell every UConn fan, "Thanks in advance for your coach!"
12:53 - Kev-O decides to tell every fan of every team that, except for Purdue. Nobody wants Matt Painter.
13:29 - Head out to lunch. Going to downtown Phoenix.
13:37 - Kev-O realizes, "We could hire Dawn Staley!!!"
13:38 - Sinickal tells him, you are going through about 25 stages of grief. Thinks of when he should bring up to Kev-O that, "You could hire Kim Mulkey!"
13:39 - We notice that we have seen a way larger number of people with a missing limb than we would ordinarily see in our regular lives.
13:40 - We pass a shirtless guy at a bus stop who is just approaching the street and flipping off every car in traffic.
13:46 - We also notice a whole lot of people just dragging luggage around town.
13:47 - We pass a Waymo with the rider in the front passenger seat. We decide she is a sociopath.
14:12 - Enter the Arrogant Butcher in downtown Phoenix. This is the UConn host bar. It is quiet. Guy makes a crack at Sinickal who responds, this bar has UConn energy - which is none. We leave.
14:18 - Enter Chico Malo for some food.
15:15 - Start to leave Chico Malo.
15:16-15:26 - Have a long conversation with a former UConn player who graduated from 1995, who we cannot identify, even after later viewing the roster. He says he was Kevin Ollie's roommate. Much smack talk among schools occurs.
15:18 - Guy is seriously bragging about the run that Connecticut is going through in the last 2 to 3 decades and says, "There must be something in the water." Kev-O snaps, "Syphilis." Guy replies, "No, there's no syphilis. A couple of crabs, I ain't gonna lie!"
16:13 - Parked at State Farm Stadium, or technically WestGate Center outside of the Stadium.
16:21 - Buffalo Wild Wings, again. Easiest place to get into in WestGate.
16:53 - Pepster notices a guy wearing a "23" Iowa State jersey. Sinickal states that it is too bad he isn't wearing a "23" jersey for the best player from Iowa, Roy Marble. The two extoll the virtues of Marble as a player. Kev-O says, "I don't know if you two are doing a bit, or if you are serious!"
17:00 - Old-timer sitting next to Sinickal is a St. John's fan who went to Fordham at his first Final Four. Lots of good basketball discussion, until this, "Matt Painter is a good coach."
17:28 - Get tab.
17:48 - Finally get to pay tab. Walk to State Farm Stadium begins.
17:53 - Lawrence Taylor just asked us for tickets. Kev-O says, "Anyway kids, don't do crack!"
17:55 - Evangelist preaching about how you would love and cherish someone that paid your monetary debts, we should do the same for someone that took your sins away. Pepster yells out, "I'll take False Analogies for $800 Alex."
17:56 - See another evangelist with a microphone. Kev-O asks, "Is that a Trump Bible?" Guy basically tells Kev-O he is going to hell. Kev-O says, "See you there!"
17:57 - Guy is now being annoying and just really trying to single us out as we are trying to walk to the stadium, saying we need Jesus in our lives. Sinickal tells him that Jesus just went 4-4 against the Astros.
Note, our comments are not against religion or even religiosity, but rather these evangelists that show up with a microphone outside big events are the absolute worst. We see them every year, and most of them aren't even properly citing scripture, and are really just making things up. We wonder what they did wrong in life that they thought they had to make up for it in this manner.
17:59 - Enter the outside security perimeter and a guy sees the orange "S" on Sinickal's shirt and says, "Hey, Superman!"
18:02 - Inside the stadium, on the escalator, and Sinickal starts his first "Let's Go Orange!" chant.
18:18 - Introduction of the UConn starters. Pepster realizes that the dapman is the most underrated player on the college basketball team. Sinickal remarks that he is the Get-Back Coach of college basketball.
18:21 - Tip-Off, and radio silence.
18:31 - From the Jumbotron Kev-O points out that Bobcat Goldthwait is cheering for UConn.
18:37 - Annoying UConn trust fund kids are standing the entire game. Lots of people behind them getting angry at this point. So we tell the kids they are getting in the way of the fans behind them, and there are appropriate times to stand and cheer based upon the ebb-and-flow or rhythm of the game, but just not the entire game. They demonstrate that they do not understand rhythm. Kev-O adds, "Also, get a haircut!"
19:10 - It is halftime and UConn wins 36-30.
19:20 - Tony notices that the UConn cheerleaders are very diverse. They have every shade of white.
19:35 - We realize that UConn is going to go on a run, and that we might be able to make a decision to beat the foot traffic at the under-12 timeout.
19:50 - Exit the Stadium.
19:51 - As we are exiting the stadium we see that Carson Palmer's number is retired - BY THE CARDINALS! This is ridiculous.
19:55 - As we are walking to Westgate a younger guy in a Purdue shirt was also leaving and asked for whom everyone that was leaving, i.e. us, was cheering. We see his Purdue shirt, and he says he had to leave because he got kicked out. He gave the double-bird to a UConn fan in the men's room.
19:58 - Kid, seeing Kev-O's UK fit, asks if Kentucky was going to hire Rick Pitino. Kev-O and Pepster contemplate multiple felonies.
19:59 - Kid, asks Kev-O if he went to school there, since, you know, most UK fans didn't. We all laugh because "game recognizes game." Kid dropped a serious grenade, and deserved some credit.
20:01 - Enter Yardhouse, find four seats at the bar. Good choice to leave early as this game is really over.
20:31 - UConn wins.
21:03 - One Shining Moment, not a lot of basketball plays this year in the montage.
21:15 - Leave Yardhouse.
21:48 - Leave parking lot.
Time Unknown - Arrive at Big Si and Anne's house to pick up a car, as we will need multiple cars for our luggage and golf clubs tomorrow.
Time Further Unknown - Arrive at our house, in bed within 30 seconds!
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