The Trouble with Te'o

This is meant to be the definitive word on the Manti Te'o story.  But, since lots and lots of people have pretty much said all there is to say, I have nothing really more to add.  So this is simply just a collection of some of the best, and funniest comments I have seen on television, heard on radio, or read on twitter and facebook.  Wherever possible, attribution is included (and wherever I can read the name in my notes).  After this, I swear I will not make any more comments regarding Te'o and his fake girlfriend, at least until the draft.

The Manti Te'o Story:  The first story that even Twitter couldn't keep up with. - Darren Rovell

Te'o sounds like the kind of guy who would send his life savings to a well-connected Nigerian banker in trouble. - Sam Stein

Reminding today's youth that someone who you have never met can never, ever be called your girlfriend. - Darren Rovell

Hey [to girlfriend], do you pinky promise that you're real? - Logan Morrison

These Te'o jokes are all very funny, but let's all try and remember that a person who never existed is dead. - Seth Meyers

Weird how the Notre Dame statement didn't mention the hoax of them being in the national championship game. - Name illegible in my notes

Lance Armstrong said "I've never tested positive for a fake girlfriend". - Author Unknown

This gives new meaning to the term "fantasy football". - Conan O'Brien

I don't see the big deal, pretty much every guy I know has a fake girlfriend. - Jason Dufner

According to Kevin Garnett, Manti Te'o's ex-girlfriend smells like Frosted Flakes. - Jason Whitlock

Deadspin reports that ND LB Manti Te'o's girlfriend's death was a hoax cuz she never existed!  Neither did ND's defense! - DL Hughley

Boston College is one Catholic institution whose Linebackers don't need to make up a dead girlfriend to gain sympathy. - I don't remember.

I once had a fake girlfriend.  She was really hot. - Jason Dufner

I'm pretty sure if I was a 21 year old star football player at Notre Dame I wouldn't be dating someone online.  I'd probably also have 8 kids. - Logan Morrison

A.J. McCarron's girlfriend is real and spectacular.  - Paraphrasing Brent Musberger

I wonder if Te'o's facebook relationship status is now listed as "it's complicated" - Eric Erickson

Happy Hour - Imaginary Girlfriends Drink Free #lennaykukocktails - Samantha Steele

I wish Te'o was dating Nicki Minaj and her dumbass wasn't real. - Red Forman (Twitter Handle)

Manti Te'o, thank you for taking single problems to a whole 'nother level. - Melissa Montes


And that's all folks.