Know Your ... Hawks

The NBA Playoffs have begun with a vengeance with a scintillating double overtime game between the Suns and Spurs, absolutely sparkling postseason debuts by Dwight Howard and Chris Paul, big numbers by Duncan, Kobe, Gasol, Nash, Stoudamire, Iverson and Carmelo and to cap off the first games of the playoffs was the team with the NBA's best record, the Boston Celtics hosting the Atlanta Hawks. Wait, do I see that right, the Atlanta Hawks? Wow! How did that happen?

That reminds me. Today was my first day at my new office. You might be thinking why would I bring this up during a Know Your Team post. Simply, I felt more uncomfortable watching the game last night next to a self-proclaimed Hawks fan (he was from Atlanta) than I did at the office today, since I think I still knew more of my co-workers than he knew Hawks. Nevertheless, both situations involved being around strangers.

Now, this guy at least knew Mike Bibby was the starting point guard, as I thought he quit the league after the NBA gave the Lakers that series over Sacramento in the 2002 season. We all knew Joe Johnson as the big free agent signing from two years ago, Josh Smith for his spectacular dunking ability and overall athleticism (pictured above), Al Horford since he went to UF (we are in Florida, in case you didn't know) and Josh Childress because of his phenomenal afro. We must be pretty smart since we could actually name all 5 the starters.

Wait, Childress doesn't start and Marvin Williams does? So much for being smart. Should have remembered Marvin Williams, since the Hawks took him with the second pick in the 2005 draft over one of the guys listed in the first paragraph. I, however, thought that he was already out of the league.

The remaining players on the team? Ridiculous. The only player other than those listed that played over 12 minutes was the immortal Zaza Pachulia, the 6'11", 280 pound center from the capital of Georgia, Tbilisi. (That's the other Georgia). We also had a Salim Stoudamire sighting. Which makes more sense today than it did last night, when we, aided by some of our respective beverages, all thought that Damon Stoudemire was looking particularly young and spry). Even Acie Law from Texas A & M played a few minutes. I have no idea who the rest of the people are. A look at the roster indicates that they include Mario West, who nobody knew when he was at Georgia Tech, Jeremy Richardson from Delta State and Solomon Jones from South Florida. I am quite certain that I couldn't pick West, Richardson and Jones out of a lineup of the Supremes.

This is even crazier when you look at the Celtics roster, which had 8 players play over 16 minutes, and the remaining 4 included veterans P.J. Brown (who has played in countless postseason series and Eddie House (who once scored 61 in a game at Arizona State) and college stars Tony Allen and Glen Davis.

Generally the team with the best players win, and for this series, the Celtics have the best players 1-12. What they don't have is Josh Childress's hair. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Eastern Conference playoffs.

Know Your ... Heat

Welcome to the first of the feature series, "Know Your Team". With the NCAA tournament coming to an end, I thought the best pilot for this series would be the NBA team with the most use for Final Four talent, the 14-64 Miami Heat.

Now most of you think that you know the Miami Heat. A little older than their 2006 NBA Champions, but they still have Dwyane Wade, Jason Williams and Udonis Haslem, right? Well, technically correct, but no. Here is an examination of the team that beat the Chicago Bulls last night 95-88 to eliminate the Bulls from playoff contention.

The starters for the team included veterans Ricky Davis from Iowa and center Mark Blount from Pittsburgh. Both of those players should be familiar to NBA fans, since they have been contributors for several years, and in Davis' case, a decade. Familiarity goes downhill from there. Some college fans may remember starting point guard (Yes, I said starting point guard), Chris Quinn from Notre Dame. For those that don't remember Quinn, just find the absolute slowest player on the court, that's him. Opposite Davis was Earl Barron out of Memphis and opposite Quinn was rookie first round draft pick Daequan Cook from THE Ohio State University, who actually spent some time in the NBA Developmental League this year.

Speaking of the D-League, the star of the game was reigning D-League MVP Kasib Powell. Powell (pictured) is a 6'7", 218 pound forward out of Texas Tech who scored 18 to lead the Heat last night. He actually looks like he has NBA caliber game. He already is the best Kasib in the history of the NBA. Also playing minutes was forward Stephen Lasme, a 6'8", 220 pound forward from Port-Gentil, Gabon by way of UMass. On the roster, but earning the dreaded DNP-CD was point guard Blake Ahearn, a rookie from the basketball prowess that is Missouri State.

So for those of you wondering what happened to the Heat, here is a good answer. Look at the names above and spot the NBA players, and when you see that the answer is all of them, you know why the Heat have won only 14 games this year.

If you actually are a Heat fan, keep thinking that you will have Wade and Haslem back next year, playing with either Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley. That, might be a team worth knowing.