NFL DRAFT - Hooray Sports!!!

So, we finally have something normal about sports to celebrate, the NFL Draft, even though there is nothing normal about this NFL Draft.  Coaches and GMs in different places - except in Dallas where they are all present in different rooms on Jerry Jones' yacht.  Players in their parents' homes and not Las Vegas, and we will have to wait until next year until we see the players arrive at the red carpet to walk up an reach Roger Goodell.  With virtually all sports - except for Belarussian Premier League, Nicaraguan Soccer and Ukranian Table Tennis - in hiatus, the NFL Draft it is.

First, let's take roll to see if we have a quorum.

Dr. Pepper:  Here

Hopps:  Here

Pepster: Here

Sinickal:  Here

Tony:

Tony:

Ok, never mind.  We have a quorum.  The draft may proceed.

Also, present today are special guests Audio, Prez and Vinny.

17:39 - Vinny here, and already watching ESPN like a crackhead.  (The draft starts at 20:00).

18:01 - Prez repping the Fins!  Fitz is on the honey bun diet and the rest of the team is on South Beach - and I don't mean the diet.

Keep repping fellas, see you in about two hours.

Before the draft starts, we should just lay out for you our personal preferences.  Sinickal and Pepster - Chicago Bears; Hopps - Dallas Cowboys; Tony - who cares he isn't here; Dr. Pepper - Denver Broncos; Audio - Pittsburgh Steelers; Prez and Vinny - Miami Dolphins.  But we still make Vinny claim the San Francisco 49ers and New York Dragons.

19:55 - Vinny:  Nope, just Phins here.

19:57 - Pepster:  You didn't like the Dragons reference?

19:58 - Vinny: Loved it, just very short-lived.

19:59 - Vinny:  Played for the Bears briefly in 2003 also.  Horrible year.  Our home games were at the University of Illinois.

20:01 - Pepster:  That year.  No wonder I forgot.

20:02 - Pepster:  Peyton Manning, Please shut up and go play golf!

20:02 - Dr. Pepper:  THE SHERIFF!

20:03 - Vinny:  At least we don't have to listen to Gruden this year. [Ed. Note:  I honestly could have stopped the conversation right there as we all agree this IS the highlight of the draft, at least until we get to CeeDee Lamb's house.]

20:04 - Vinny: If Phins trade up I might pitch this phone into the drywall.  [Spoiler Alert:  he doesn't].

20:04 - Sinickal:  What coverage is everyone watching?  I am NFL Network.

20:04 - Pepster:  Just FYI - I am watching ESPN, not ABC.

20:04 - Hopps: Goodell's basement sucks.

20:04 - Sinickal:  Now ESPN.

20:05 - Hopps:  ESPN

20:05 - Pepster:  He is just happy nobody is going to be booing him.

20:05 - Sinickal:  There was a rumor that they had figured out a way to pipe booing into this broadcast.  Ah, there it is.

20:05 - Vinny:  Goodell has about as many friends as Donald Trump.

20:07 - Dr. Pepper:  I would have preferred Shakira.

20:08 - I am married and quarantined and you give me a dude singing.

20:08 - Pepster:  Shakira should do every NFL event, but with a different hot woman singer each time.

20:08 - Sinickal:  NFL just filling time now?  Have we ever had an anthem at the draft.

20:08 - Hopps:  Michael Bubbly sang well. [Ed. Note.  It was Harry Connick, Jr.]

20:08 - Pepster:  Draft system must not be fixed. Stalling for time.

20:08 - Vinny:  Harry sings shit other than Christams music?

20:09 - Sinickal:  And can we get some screen shots of players kneeling?

20:09 - Dr. Pepper:  Fauci is the man.

20:13 - Dr. Pepper:  The Lou Holtz of Medicine.

20:14 - Vinny:  Dr. Fauci's voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

20:15 - Dr. Pepper:  Goodell is upset at this "quarantine draft" because he is a hugger.

20:16 - Hopps:  Goodell is a tool.

20:20 - Vinny:  Are we all split on ABC and ESPN?

20:21 - Dr. Pepper:  On ESPN.

20:21 - Pepster:  ESPN - No Jesse Palmer for me.

20:21 - Vinny:  Jesse and I are friends.

20:21 - Pepster:  I am sure Jesse is a good guy, but can't watch anyone from the Bachelor.

20:21 - Vinny:  Oh man did I make fun of him for that.  But he did get good tv jobs out of it.

20:21 - Hopps:  How does the director of player personnel have  a better setup than the head coach?

20:22 - Sinickal:  Who is the first team to really screw up here?  I think it will be the Bengals.  No matter what they do.

20:22 - Hopps:  I am just rating people's setups.

20:23 - Audio:  Browns will be the first to screw up - like every year.

20:23 - Hopps:  Cincy already screwed up.

20:24 - Sinickal:  And I am not even including Irvin's suit.

20:24 - Hopps:  Two minutes are gone and they haven't taken Burrow.

20:24 - Audio:  Tua is going to fall to the Patriots.

20:24 - Hopps:  Is Burrow going to cry when he slops to the 3rd round?

20:24 - Dr. Pepper:  Here we go ...

20:24 - WITH THE FIRST PICK THE CINCINNATI BENGALS SELECT JOE BURROW, QB - LSU

20:25 - Vinny:  No surprise.

20:25 - Pepster:  Joe Burrow looks just like his mom - that is not a compliment for either.

20:26 - Sinickal:  The pick has been in for 5 minutes.  The Bengals already screwed up the draft.

2028 - Prez:  The Dolphins messed up this draft and they haven't picked yet.

20:28 - Pepster:  When notified of Burrow's pick at #1, Ed Orgeron said, "Hmmmdmdme, geirlwbfhdh, wha!'

20:29 - Vinny:  Guy chews on rocks.  He just looks like a bayou shitkicker.

20:31 - Vinny:  This gets interesting after Young goes here.

20:32 - Pepster:  Yep. Would love to see a trade at 3 to start making things interesting.

20:32 - Sinickal:  Suzy desperately needs to get into a hair salon!

20:32 - Hopps:  That's a lot of Namath cum in her hair!

20:32 - Racecar (who has now made an appearance):  Joe Burrow looks like Pete Davidson -and that is not a compliment.

20:32 - Hopps:  Chase Young has 4 phones!

20:33 - WITH THE SECOND PICK THE WASHINGTON RACISTS SELECT CHASE YOUNG, DE, OHIO STATE

20:33 - Hopps:  His hair makes him look like Jar Jar Binks!

20:34 - Sinickal:  How long until we start comparing him to Sean Taylor?

20:34 - Pepster:  When he gets shot ....

20:34:42 - Pepster: I can't believe I wrote that - I love Sean Taylor

20:36 - Sinickal:  We all do.  That's why it's funny.

20:36 - Hopps:  He's going to kill QBs.

20:36 - Audio:  Here comes the first trade ...

20:36 - Hopps:  What mistake have the Lions made?

20:38 - Pepster:  Drafting a receiver.

20:38 - WITH THE THIRD PICK THE DETROIT LIONS SELECT JEFF OKUDAH, CB, OHIO STATE

20:41 - Sinickal:  It may be just my imagination [Ed. Note - Running away with me], but it looks like Joe Burrow's family borrowed that house from a black family.

20:43 - Vinny:  (In response to Chase Young's and Jeff Okudah's highlight tapes) - Glad Purdue didn't play Ohio State this year.  We would have been on those two highlights, 100%.

20:48 - WITH THE FOURTH PICK THE NEW YORK GIANTS SELECT ANDREW THOMAS, T, GEORGIA

20:48 - Hopps:  Wow.

20:49 - Vinny:  Tua Time!

20:49 - Pepster:  Thomas annihilated Florida's defensive line in the Florida-Georgia game.

20:49 - Hopps:  Why is Gettelman wearing a mask by himself in his own basement?

20:50 - Sinickal:  That's his attic.

20:50 - Vinny: I WANT SIMMONS!

20:52 - Hopps:  Still can't pronounce Tua's last name!

20:52 - Pepster:  Why is entire family wearing leis except for Tua?

20:52 - Hopps (a BC alumnus):  Flores repping a BC hat.  This doesn't bode well for the Fins.

20:52 - Sinickal:  Where did they get leis during a pandemic?  And whose house is that?

20:53:  Hopps:  Riddick has the oldest football video game ever on his shelf.

20:55 - Dr, Pepper:  Did Kurt Warner have work done?

20:55 - WITH THE FIFTH PICK THE MIAMI DOLPHINS SELECT TUA TAGAVAILOA, QB, ALABAMA

20:55 - Prez: Ridiculous.

20:56 - Audio:  Marino - let him have your number!

20:57:  Vinny:  This kid is made of glass!

20:57 - Pepster:  His is no Fitzpatrick!

20:58 - Vinny:  The name on his jersey will be fragile!

20:59 - Prez:  They knew what they were getting into ... I say, let 'em crash!

20:59 - Sinickal:  Why don't they call him Tag?  Wouldn't that be easier?

20:59 - Dr. Pepper:  Tua Tag?

20:59:  Pepster:  Less syllables.  He certainly doesn't need to buy a vowel.

21:01 - Vinny:  I hate drafting players in theory that won't play.

21:01 - Sinickal:  Is Herbert estranged from his parents?  Shouldn't he then go to the Packers?

21:03 - WITH THE SIXTH PICK THE LOS ANGELES CHARGERS SELECT JUSTIN HERBERT, QB, OREGON

21:04 - Dr. Pepper:  It might be the acne.

21:07 - Vinny:  I figured at least one trade by now.

21:07 - Pepster:  That is disappointing.

21:10 - Prez:  Who's going to be the first one to cry when their name gets called?

21:10 - Pepster:  Cedric Benson.  Oh, sorry - flashback.

21:11 - WITH THE SEVENTH PICK THE CAROLINA PANTHERS SELECT DERICK BROWN, DT, AUBURN

21:11 - Hopps: Was Drew Rosenhaus in the room with Derrick Brown?

21:11 - Pepster:  Nothing against Brown, but the Panthers lose Kuechly and Simmons is just sitting right there ...

21:14 - Pepster:  Brown is the first player drafted with a kid clearly visible on camera.

21:14 - Sinickal:  Doesn't Brown's house exceed social distancing requirements?

21:14 - Hopps:  I'm just trying to figure out who the background randoms are in some of the houses.

21:15 - Sinickal:  Kliff Kingsbury, Winner!

21:15 - WITH THE EIGHTH PICK THE ARIZONA CARDINALS SELECT ISAIAH SIMMONS, LB, CLEMSON

21:16 - Sinickal:  Look at that F'N house!!!

21:16 - Hopps:  He's not wearing socks.

21:16 - Vinny:  Best player in the draft just went.

21:17 - Sinickal:  Some of these player's houses are laid out!  This virtual draft will lead to some NCAA sanctions.

21:17 - Vinny: I can count the money in Simmons' pants!

21:17 - Hopps:  That's a lot of ass!

21:18 - Vinny:  Who wears them tight ass pants?

21:18 - Racecar (popping in again):  Simmons' mom needs Spanx!

21:18 - Prez:  Sinickal said he would spanx dat ass!

21:20 - Sinickal:  Not yet, but I would have said it.

21:21 - Dr. Pepper:  Christmas ham ass.

21:22 - Vinny:  Jags are up  Does it matter who they draft?  They are tanking for Lawrence next year.  If I was a Jags fan I would want covid to ruin the entire season.

21:23 - Sinickal:  Was with Marrone in Syracuse.  Want him to do well here.

21:23 - WITH THE NINTH PICK THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS SELECT C.J. HENDERSON, CB, FLORIDA

21:24 - Pepster:  Henderson does NOT look happy.

21:24 - Hopps:  Who wants to play there?

21:24 - Sinickal:  Henderson's crib looks like there may be drug money involved.

21:24:39 - Sinickal:  Or, since it's Miami, we'll just call it "Tuesday".

21:25 - Prez:  Whole family just said, "Gyadd Damn Gina!"

21:26 - Hopps:  Really?  Rolling out St. Jude's just to get pity for the Browns?

21:26 - WITH THE TENTH PICK THE CLEVELAND BROWN SELECT JEDRICK WILLS, JR., T, ALABAMA

21:27 - Hopps:  Due on the left was asleep with his hands in his pants.  They are ready for Cleveland!

21:29 - Pepster:  Willis' brother is definitely not an athlete.

21:30 - Vinny:  Here come the Jets; that fan base is deserving of another bust!

21:32 - Sinickal:  Pepster, it is almost time to celebrate our draft again. The Bears acquire Khalil Mack.

21:33 - Pepster:  Best pick of this draft.

21:34 - Vinny:  Bears paid Quinn a 40 year old DE.  Good job giving him a 5 year deal.

21:34 - Pepster:  Yes, Vinny, and he will have 10 1/2 sacks this year.

21:35 - Pepster:  Apparently Jeudy can give the old "Stanky leg" as per Michael Irvin.

21:35 - Vinny:  I coached against Jeudy when he was at Deerfield.

21:35 - WITH THE ELEVENTH PICK THE NEW YORK JETS SELECT MEKHI BECTO, T, LOUISVILLE

21:35 - Hopps:  Wow.  His dad is 600 pounds!

21:35 - Sinickal:  I will own that Michael Irvin outfit before the end of the draft.

21:36 - Vinny:  Becton is the first girl to cry.

21:36 - Pepster:  He gets it from his daddy - the weight that is.

21:36 - Sinickal:  Who's the other dude?

21:37 - Racecar pops back in:  The pastor?

21:37 - Sinickal:  This may be our best highlight reel.

21:38:  Hopps:  It has to be.

21:38 - Pepster:  Great video!

21:38 - Hopps:  That's a big dude, though.

21:38 - Sinickal:  How tall is the girl in the background?

21:39 - Pepster:  6'8".

21:39 - Hopps - Speaking of tall, Mel Kiper's hair is getting bigger but his head is shrinking.

21:39:  Dr. Pepper:  Tony, are you awake?  [Ed. Note:  He isn't.]

21:40 - WITH THE TWELFTH PICK THE LAS VEGAS RAIDERS SELECT HENRY RUGGS, WR, ALABAMA

21:40 - Hopps:  Now Ruggs will not be investigated by the NCAA.  And, Mrs. Gruden is a spinner.

21:41 - Hopps:  Ruggs is wearing a bathrobe!

21:43 - Dr. Pepper:  That hat ya'll!

21:44 - Sinickal:  An Old Spice hotel robe!

21:45 - Vinny:  WOW!  Hope Old Spice is paying him for that.  That watch was 10gs.

21:45 - Hopps:  Have to compliment the hotel bathrobe with something.

21:46 - Sinickal:  His mom apparently ran a 4.2 40.  I LOVE a good folk lore.

21:47 - Pepster:  Our first trade.

21:48 - Vinny:  Tampa's gonna take the tackle I wanted.

21:49 - Sinickal:  Wirfs got him a corn fed woman next to him.

21:50 - Prez:  With the number 1 pick, I select Bethany from Air Force!

21:50 - WITH THE THIRTEENTH PICK THE TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS SELECT TRISTEN WIRFS, T, IOWA

21:52 - Hopps:  How are you a dark shark in effing Iowa?

21:54 - Pepster:  And now Emmanuel Sanders' replacement falls to SF

21:58 - Pepster:  Who was the random white girl at Jeudy's house?

21:58 - Hopps:  I was thinking the same thing.

21:58 - Sinickal:  Who is that filthy woman with CeeDee?

21:59 - WITH THE FOURTEENTH PICK THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS SELECT JAVON KINLAW, DT, SOUTH CAROLINA

21:59 - Hopps:  Dude is dead on the couch.

22:00 - Pepster:  Grandpa was the only one ready to be picked.

22:00 - Dr. Pepper:  CeeDee to the Broncos.

22:02 - Hopps:  This might be the way this draft should go from now on.

22:04 - WITH THE FIFTEENTH THE DENVER BRONCOS SELECT JERRY JEUDY, WR, ALABAMA

22:04 - Sinickal:  My man was ready for ANYBODY to be drafted.

22:05 - Dr. Pepper:  Wow.  Love this.

22:06 - Pepster:  I know Atlanta wanted C.J. Henderson, might see a trade here.

22:06 - Vinny:  Jeudy is so pissed Ruggs went before him.  Atlanta will go pass rush, I would think.

22:07 - Sinickal:  Will Jeudy be faster in the thin air?

22:07 - Racecar:  Who names their kid Jerry when you last name is Jeudy?  And Jeudy got that booty!

22:08 - Vinny:  Jeudy with the Star of David on.

22:09 - Sinickal:  One of the all time great combine stories.

22:12 - Pepster:  Four Alabama players taken in first round already.  Record is 6, Miami 2004.

22:12 - Hopps:  Did Arthur Blank get his cabinets from The Home Depot?

22:13 - WITH THE SIXTEENTH PICK THE ATLANTA FALCONS SELECT A.J. TERRELL, CB, CLEMSON

22:14 - Pepster:  Cowboys up next.  Who do you want Hopps?

22:14 - Hopps:  Jerry better to Jefferson.

22:14 - Vinny:  McKinne to Phins, I hope.

22:15 - Vinny:  Cowboys need McKinney.  Heath is garbage.

22:15 - Pepster:  Prez, your thoughts on Miami's pick?

22:16 - Hopps:  McCarthy is till figuring out the interwebs.

22:16 - Sinickal:  Jerry's wife practicing good social distancing.  Or, just distancing.

22:17 - Vinny:  Irvin knocked down an 8-ball about 30 minutes ago.

22:18 - Pepster:  Girl next to Lamb is MONEY!

22:18 - Hopps:  Who is the smokeshow next to Lamb?  [Ed. Note:  Her name is Crymson Rose.]

22:18 - Sinickal:  Yeah!  You late to this party.  I already had my "private time" on that.

22:19 - WITH THE SEVENTEENTH PICK THE DALLAS COWBOYS SELECT CEEDEE LAMB, WR, OKLAHOMA

22:19 - Hopps:  Okay!!!

22:20 - Hopps:  That MF is country!

22:20 - Hopps:  Can we just get back to girl on the couch?

22:20 - Pepster:  Got damn!

22:20 - Dr. Pepper:  Them thighs.

22:20 - Sinickal:  She may be hired help.

22:21 - Dr. Pepper:  Claude Geezus!

22:22 - Dr. Pepper: I need help!

22:27:  Hopps:  The Patriots draft a camera man!

22:28 - WITH THE EIGHTEENTH PICK THE MIAMI DOLPHINS SELECT AUSTIN JACKSON, T, USC

22:28 - Vinny:  Holy packed couch!

22:29:  Hopps:  That couch is not afraid of a fork!

22:29 - Vinny:  Goodell is the stiffest white man alive.  What a f'n dork.  He got swirlies in high school.

22:31 - Sinickal:  This Vegas pick is THE MACK!

22:31 - Hopps:  Flores has a land line.

22:31 - Vinny: Flores - sweet empty trophy case behind you brah!

22:32 - Sinickal:  Roger changed clothes.

22:32 - Hopps:  He's a tool.

22:33 - Dr. Pepper:  Draft next year in Vegas!  He flubbed the year, though.

22:33 - Hopps:  Yes he did.  Kiper's head is so shiny.

22:33 - WITH THE NINETEENTH PICK THE LAS VEGAS RAIDERS SELECT DAMONE ARNETTE, CB, OHIO STATE

22:34 - Vinny:  Who is the midget in the Gruden fam?

22:35 - Hopps:  WTF is the whiteboard behind Chucky?  [Ed. Note:  It was the Raiders draft board.]

22:36 - Pepster:  Goodell must have spooged on himself watching CeeDee Lamb's girlfriend!

22:37 - Pepster:  Raiders with the first really big reach of the night.

22:37 - Sinickal:  So to recap, Gruden took the other Bama receiver, then took a 2nd team All Big 10 corner

22:37 - Sinickal:  That guy probably finished behind a dude from Minnesota.  [Ed. Note:  He did.]

22:37 - Hopps:  Ok gents.  I have a call with India at 4.  Can't wait to read the rest of this tomorrow.

22:41 - Vinny:  Whoever the Jags take, put that guy on suicide watch.

22:41 - WITH THE TWENTIETH PICK THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS SELECT K'LAVON CHIASSON, DE, LSU

22:43 - Sinickal:  Elite get off!!!

22:43 - Found on Twitter:  The NFL Draft takes way too long.  If I really wanted to watch 32 picks in 3 hours I'd just watch Jameis Winston play.

22:46 - Pepster:  This has to be Justin Jefferson, right?

22:46 - Sinickal:  This hast to be the equivalent of MTV Cribs.  No way these players live in these spaces ... yet.

22:47 - WITH THE TWENTY-FIRST PICK THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES SELECT JALEN RAEGOR, WR, TCU

22:48 - Sinickal:  Finally a house that makes sense.

22:49 - Pepster:  And his dad was in the NFL.

22:50 - Sinickal:  Nothing on those walls.

22:51 - Vinny:  Please take notice of the NFL attempt to keep people out of camera view in an attempt to promote social distance.  You know damn well there are 100 people tucked behind all them walls.

22:52 - Vinny:  And how did the kid with the dad who played 10 years in the NFL get the smallest house on here?

22:55 - WITH THE TWENTY-SECOND PICK THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS SELECT JUSTIN JEFFERSON, WR, LSU

22:56 - Sinickal:  Zimmer's spot!

22:59 - Sinickal:  My hot take.  This draft happened a couple of days ago.  Goodell has cards to read.  Not a single video glitch.  From some 100 cameras on WiFi in some ridiculous places?  The only thing real here is the reactions from the kids.

23:00 - WITH THE TWENTY-THIRD PICK THE LOS ANGELES CHARGERS SELECT KENNETH MURRAY, LB, OKLAHOMA

23:01 - Pepster:  Murray is a beast.

23:02 - Sinickal:  Ooh!  Goth White Girl!

23:03 - Pepster:  She must be adopted.

23:02 - Sinickal:  nah, she fucking somebody in that room.

23:04 - Sinickal:  Aye, must be Murray.

23:05 - Pepster:  She's 16 - so, probably Murray's sister.

23:05 - Sinickal:  Younger brother?

23:06 - Pepster:  Perhaps ...

23:07 - Vinny:  Thank God there were no cameras at my draft party.

23:07 - Pepster:  What were you trying to hide?

23:08 - Vinny:  Lots.

23:08 - WITH THE TWENTY-FOURTH PICK THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS SELECT CESAR RUIZ, C, MICHIGAN

23:10 - Pepster:  Major crier!

23:12 - Pepster:  Breaking football news:  Dak Prescott's brother just passed away.

23:15 - WITH THE TWENTY-FIFTH PICK THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS SELECT BRANDON AIYUK, WR, ARIZONA STATE

23:25 - WITH THE TWENTY-SIXTH PICK THE GREEN BAY PACKERS SELECT JORDAN LOVE, QB, UTAH STATE

23:29 - Sinickal:  DAMN!

23:32 - Sinickal:  Aaron Rodgers is going to treat Jordan Love like a little brother.  Or like a parent.  Or like everyone else in his immediate family.

23:35 - WITH THE TWENTY-SEVENTH PICK THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS SELECT JORDYN BROOKS, LB, TEXAS TECH

23:35 - Pepster:  Consecutive Jordans!

23:35 - WITH THE TWENTY-EIGHTH PICK THE BALTIMORE RAVENS SELECT PATRICK QUEEN, LB, LSU

23:42:  Sinickal:  Packers have not selected an RB or WR in the 1st round during the Aarond Rodgers tenure.

23:45 - Pepster:  The have wasted his career.

23:43 - Vinny:  Kiper's forehead is gleaming.  Easy on the halogens in that room, please.

23:46 - Sinickal:  Bad lighting is THE rookie teleworking mistake.  You can get around everything else.

23:47 - Sinickal - Okay, WTF is going on at Mike Vrabel's house?

23:48 - [Ed. Note.:  This was happening at Mike Vrabel's house.]

23:48 - Vinny: Holy bad mullet!

23:49 - WITH THE TWENTY-NINTH PICK THE TENNESSEE TITANS SELECT ISAIAH WILSON, T, GEORGIA

23:50 - Pepster:  We just went biblical; Second Isaiah!

23:53 - Vinny:  Vrabel keeping it real with a mouth full or worm dirt.  Way to keep it classy.

23:58 - WITH THE THIRTIETH PICK THE MIAMIDOLPHINS SELECT NOAH IGBINOGHENE, CB, AUBURN

00:00 - Pepster: Between Tagovailoa and Igbinoghene, the Dolphins better give their equipment guy a raise.

00:01 - Pepster:  Both parents Olympians is a pretty good story.

00:02 - Vinny:  Jesus I hope our RB is there in the second round.

00:02 - WITH THE THIRTY-FIRST PICK THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS SELECT JEFF GLADNEY, CB, TCU

00:03 - Pepster:  Who is Gladney?

00:04 - Pepster:  Vinny - Jordan Howard is damn good, though.

00:10 - WITH THE THIRTY-SECOND PICK THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS SELECT CLYDE EDWARDS-HELAIRE, RB, LSU

00:17 - Vinny:  The Dolphins picked three guys that won't start next year.  Why do I bother?

As the 1st round comes to a close, there is one clear winner on the evening!

Ladies and Gentlemen - Crymson Rose!  (Yes, I know there are more and better pics of Ms. Rose, but we thought we should just include the picture from the draft.)

Professional Football Wrap-Up

Exciting Week 2; made even more so by my boy Ortega's birthday.  Lots of people, fun and games.  And my birthday present to him was that the Bears took Khalil Mack off of the  hands of his beloved Raiders.  You're Welcome!!!  Once again, none of the patrons stood for the anthem, Anyway, here are my thoughts from Week 1 of the NFL season.

Game of the Week

Minnesota 29 - Green Bay 29.  Two playoff-contending teams battling it out on the not yet frozen tundra.  Bad calls (the Clay Matthews roughing the passer call - although since he is Clay Matthews he deserved it) and bad kicking decided this sister-kisser.  Other contenders could have been Jacksonville over New England 31-20, but New England was never in this game, or Kansas City defeating Pittsburgh 42-37, but this was never really that close.

Best Team Performance

Jacksonville Jaguars.  Only an 11 point win in the AFC Championship game rematch, but the Jaguars thoroughly dominated New England.  The defense held New England to only 316 total yards, including only 82 yards rushing.  They sacked Tom Brady twice, including a sack, strip, fumble recovery by Dante Fowler, Jr., and Blake Bortles was 29-45 for 377 yards and 4 TDs - against only 1 interception, in Leonard Fournette's absence.  A dominating performance by your new favorites to win the AFC.

Least Impressive Team Performance

Arizona Cardinals.  Second week in a row, but much deserved.  Decimated by the Los Angeles Rams 34-0, and it wasn't even that close.  Sam Bradford threw for only 90 yards (17-27) with an interception, and the entire team only rushed for 54 yards.  They did sack Jared Goff twice and intercepted him once, , but they gave up over 40 yards rushing to Todd Gurley and Malcolm Brown, and at least 6 receptions and 60 yards to Cooper Kupp (6/63), Robert Woods (6/81), and Brandin Cooks (7/159).  It is a fight between Arizona and Buffalo for the worst team in the NFL.  Is it time to see Josh Rosen?

Most Impressive Individual Performance (Offense)

Patrick Mahomes, QB - Kansas City Chiefs.  He annihilated Pittsburgh's secondary so bad that you would have thought that Vontae Davis was not the only defensive back to retire at halftime.  He was 23-28 for 326 yards and 6 TDs - and no interceptions.  You read that correctly, Mahomes had more touchdown passes than incompletions!

Honorable Mention goes to Ryan FitzMagic of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who went 27-33 for 402 yards and 4 TDs in Tampa's 27-21 victory over the defending champion Philadelphia Eagles, his second consecutive game over 400 yards!

Most Impressive Individual Performance (Defense)

Darius Leonard, LB - Indianapolis Colts.  Leonard finished his week 2 game with 18 tackles, 1 sack and a forced fumble in the Indianapolis Colts' unlikely 21-9 win at Washington.

Honorable Mention to Shaquill Griffin of Seattle, with his 2 interceptions in a losing effort against the Chicago Bears.

Most Impressive Individual Performance (Special Teams)

Brandon McManus, K - Denver Broncos.  McManus kicked 2 extra points and 2 field goals, the last from 36 yards with only :06 remaining as the Broncos defeated the Oakland Raiders 20-19.  If you want to know why we celebrate mundane kicking performances, go ask the Minnesota Vikings and Cleveland Browns, both of which cut their kickers yesterday.

Least Impressive Individual Performance

Zane Gonzalez, K - Cleveland Browns.  Gonzalez missed both of his extra point attempts, and missed 2 field goals, any of which would have won the game as the Browns fell to the New Orleans Saints 21-18, as Will Lutz showed Browns fans what a kicker is by nailing a 44 yard field goal with :21 left to win the game.

Honorable Mention to Daniel Carlson of the Minnesota Vikings who missed all 3 of his field goal attempts, though he did hit all 3 of his extra points, in the Vikings tie with Packers.  Loses this honor to Gonzalez only because Gonzalez cost his team last week's win as well.

Both kickers were cut yesterday.

Most Surprising Team Performance

Indianapolis Colts.  After losing pretty handily at the hands of the Cincinnati Bengals, the Colts went into D.C. and defeated the Racists 21-9, holding Washington to only 65 yards rushing, with 43 of those yards to quarterback Alex Smith and wide receiver Jamison Crowder.  Andrew Luck was not sharp, but closed this game out with a fourth quarter TD pass to T.Y. Hilton for the final margin of victory.  Both teams are now 1-1.

Most Disappointing Team Performance

Pittsburgh Steelers.  Expecting a bounce-back performance after a week 1 tie with Cleveland, Pittsburgh laid an egg against the Kansas City Chiefs, losing 42-37 in a game that was never that close.  Pittsburgh's secondary still has yet to make an appearance in the ball game.

Most Surprising Individual Performance
Matt Breida, RB - San Francisco 49ers.  Breida, who was slated to be the 49ers backup running back until Jerrick McKinnon went down, rushed 10 times for 138 yards a 1 TD in San Francisco's 30-27 defeat of the Detroit Lions.

Most Disappointing Individual Performance

Kickers.  See above regarding Zane Gonzalez and Daniel Carlson.

Most Impressive Team Performance (Premier League)

Chelsea 4-1 over Cardiff City.  Chelsea gave up an early goal in the 16th minute before running off 4 straight, including the winner just before halftime.  Chelsea parlayed 77% possession into 18 shots (7 on goal) in annihilating Cardiff City to remain a perfect 5-0 (along with Liverpool) at the top of the table.

Most Impressive Individual Performance (Premier League)

Eden Hazard - Chelsea.  Hazard, the engine that makes the Chelsea offense drive scored a natural hat trick with goals in the 37th minute and 44th minute (both from Giroud) and a penalty kick in the 80th minute after Willian drew a foul in the area.

Goat of the Week

Zane Gonzalez, K - Cleveland Browns.  Not to beat a dead kicker, but he lost two games for the Browns now.  And, he is cut.

Goat of the Week (Premier League)

Harry Kane - Tottenham Hotspur.  The usually prolific scorer Kane managed just 2 measly shots as the Spurs fell 2-1 to Liverpool.  Now losing to Liverpool in and of itself is no shame as they do sit at the top of the table, but Kane has to be more involved in the offense if the Spurs are to challenge for a UCL spot next year (they currently sit in 6th place).

Breakthrough Performance

Brandin Cooks, WR - Los Angeles Rams.  Cooks caught 7 of his 9 targets for 159 yards.  Although Cooks' big play potential has been known, this week's performance shows that he has easily replaced the departed Sammy Watkins in the Rams offense, and is possibly an even better weapon for Jared Goff than even Watkins was.

Comeback Performance

Nathaniel Hackett, OC - Jacksonville Jaguars.  Having learned from the pathetic, stagnant second half in the AFC Championship game, Hackett opened up the offense and let Blake Bortles throw, and this caught the New England Patriots completely by surprise.  In turn, the Jaguars dominated the defending AFC Champions, with the offense playing just as well as the defense.

Finally

Allen Robinson, WR - Chicago Bears.  Robinson flashed lots of potential in his 4 years with the Jaguars.  He only "flashed" because he was often injured.  With 10 catches on Monday night (out of 14 targets), Robinson showed that he can be the big target needed by young Mitchell Trubisky.  Robinson was key on third down converting 4 third downs with his catches to keep drives alive, and the clock moving.

Impact Injury

Joe Mixon, RB - Cincinnati Bengals.  He is only have his knee cleaned, but his speed is incredibly important in the revival of the Bengals offense, and by making the safeties respect the running game, A.J. Green is finding himself more space in which to operate.  Giovanni Bernard is a true veteran backup, but he does not have Mixon's pure speed.

Team Rising

Miami Dolphins - All of a sudden they are 2-0 and in first place in the AFC East.  Yes it is early, but Tannehill has been efficient, and the running game is 6th in the NFL  behind a combination of Kenyan Drake and Frank Gore, who is now fourth on the All-Time rushing list.  With Oakland next at home, they have a good shot to enter New England 3-0.

Team Falling

Seattle Seahawks - They are nowhere near the presence of recent vintage, and it clearly showed as Russell Wilson was running for his life most of the game and the offense could barely muster any drives until the very end of the game..

Best Teams
(All undefeated teams will be ranked in the top 5 until there are less than five teams, and then the rankings will consist of my true thoughts and not just records).

1. Los Angeles Rams
2. Jacksonville Jaguars
3. Kansas City Chiefs
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
5. Cincinnati Bengals

Worst Teams
(All winless teams will be bottomed ranked teams until there are less than five teams, and then the rankings will consist  of my true thoughts and not just records)

32. Buffalo Bills
31. Arizona Cardinals
30. Oakland Raiders
29. New York Giants
28. Detroit Lions

Middle Teams
(Middle teams based on records until the teams play a significant amount of games to gauge their true ability).

15.  Baltimore Ravens
16.  Chicago Bears
17.  Atlanta Falcons
18.  San Francisco 49ers

Statistic That May Interest Only Me

I mentioned it earlier, but Patrick Mahomes had more touchdown passes (6) than incompletions (5) in the Chiefs victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers.  For the year Mahomes has 12 incompletions and 10 touchdown passes.

Preview - Game(s) of the Week

4. Pittsburgh Steelers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Not because this is going to be a good game between great teams, but because this game is going to be fun.  The Steelers defense is 25th in yards against and they basically have no secondary, and Tampa Bay is 1st in total yards and passing, with 482.5 total yards (405 passing) per game.  Likewise, Tampa Bay is 31st in total defense and passing defense with Pittsburgh being second in both offensively.  Can somebody say "Shootout"?

3. Denver Broncos at Baltimore Ravens.  Denver is 2-0, and Baltimore is 1-1, with Joe Flacco carrying a 93.5 passer rating.  Denver is second in the NFL in rushing and first in third down defensive percentage.  Baltimore  counters with the 7th best passing offense (8th overall) and the second best total defense (third in passing defense).  This is a game between two teams that will likely be battling for playoff position late in the season.

2. Cincinnati Bengals at Carolina Panthers - Another game that could be very important come playoff time.  Cincinati is 4th in the NFL in scoring.and third in rushing defense.  Carolina is 5th in rushing offense and 7th in passing defense.  A big matchup for both teams; can largely determine which one is the most legitimate.

1. Los Angeles Chargers at Los Angeles Rams - A potential Super Bowl preview.

Trivia

Ben Roethlisberger, with his 452 yards passing against Kansas City, moved into 7th place all time in passing yards with 51,852.  In fourth place in that list is Tom Brady.  Brady, drafted in 2000, is in his 18th season in the NFL.  Who is the only other player drafted in 2000 still active in the NFL?

Sports Bar Review of the Week

Today's review is of Duffy's Sports Grill, 225 Clematis Street, West Palm Beach, FL

Part of a local chain that originated in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, Duffy's on Clematis was chosen as it is the local spot for my boy Ortega, who turned 53 on Sunday.  His birthday, his choice.  Lots of people, drinks, food and football.

Ambiance is simply generic-themed sports bar.  Lots of televisions, but they are arranged so that you can really only watch one or two at a time.  There does seem to be a constant neck stretch as you turn from one set of cheers to another to see what is going on.  Enough coverage for all the games, but something just isn't great in the setup.

The sports feel/vibe is good.  A ton of Buffalo Bills fans, New York Jets fans and Miami Dolphins fans congregate at this location.  A smattering of almost every other team as well.  All football on Sundays.  This is good.

I ate before I went to Duffys's, but have eaten the food here many, many times.  Very good for a sports bar.  Known for their wings, I find them OK, at best, but the burgers, salads, ribs, and flatbreads are first rate for bar fare.  They serve a fantastic Caribbean chicken with beans and rice, as well.

The beer selection is OK.  Some craft beers, but caters to your bud light/miller lite bucket crowd.  Very few crafts on tap.  More in bottles, but they don't qualify for the two for one special, or at least that is what I was told (even though every other time I have been to any Duffy's they did - so this was weird).  Started with  Bud Light to hydrate, but when I tried to move to the Terrapin Hopsecutioner, I was told that they were not allowed to serve that to me in the 22oz draft because they didn't have enough glasses, and that the small drafts didn't count for two for ones (also weird).  I didn't want the large beer because I am a drunkard, but because we had a party of about 30, and our server had a number of other tables keeping him busy; I didn't want to have to refill as much.  This was a problem.

The server - Nick - himself was awesome.  He hustled the entire time, working up a sweat for sure.  Due to the large size of our party, timing of things wasn't perfect, but that was mostly because of us.  Nick earned his tips for sure!

The bathrooms are tiny, and often the women's room would develop a line in the small hallway leading to the bathrooms.  Rooms are clean though.

Service - Aaron Rodgers (Awesome)
Drinks - Ryan Tannehill (Perfectly adequate)
Food - DeShaun Watson (historically good to date, but unknown on this week)
Cleanliness - Matt Ryan (good, steady, nothing bad)
Sports Accommodations - Matt Stafford (initially looks pretty good, but something is just a little off)
Overall - Joe Flacco (Good, better than most, not quite as great as others)

Rating System Based Upon Career of QBs chosen:  Meaning, even the rating system is subjective.

Trivia Answer

Last Week's Question was:  Chicago Bears LB Khalil Mack had a sack, forced fumble, fumble recover, interception, and touchdown in the first half of Sunday nights' game against the rival Green Bay Packers.  As widely reported, Mack was the first player since Lawrence Taylor in 1982 to record all of those statistics in one half.  Who was the last player in the NFL to accomplish this in a full game?

Khalil Mack - 2016!

Check back in next week.