Sunday, January 27, 2008

Artist formerly known as the Citrus Bowl

I apologize for the lateness of this entry, but I have been incredibly busy this month. However, I did have the occasion to attend this year's Capitol One, neh, Citrus Bowl, between the University of Michigan and the University of Florida in Orlando, Florida. Given the event, and since I am dating a UF grad, I felt that it was important to go through the chronology of the events and the game. I actually took these notes on my blackberry at the time of the game, but I am just now getting to transfer it to the blog. Anyway, after a night of partying for New Year's Eve at the Rosen Shingle Creek Resort in Orlando (which I highly recommend by the way) we woke up ready to go to the game.

10:03 - Start the departure process at the valet stand.

While waiting for the car, all of the kids are wearing Tim Tebow jerseys. Apparently Tebow has been preaching the gospel, "go forth and multiply", and it has been working.

Also while waiting for the valet to bring our vehicle, a kid wanders out into oncoming traffic in the valet area. A valet captain runs out and pulls a J.T. Snow saving little Dusty Baker. The mother is about 5 feet away, and much like Dusty Baker, was completely oblivious. Not only did she do nothing, she never even said anything to the valet captain. Ridiculous.

10:29 - Actually leave hotel. The valet isn't the swiftest.

11:03 - Come to the entrance of our parking lot, at the Amway Arena.

11:04 - Alexis vacates car at entrance of parking lot, gets sick from last night.

11:04:30 - Enter parking lot at Amway Arena.

11:08 - Alexis finds us at our parking spot.

11:35 - Alexis round 2.

12:11 - Alexis round 3 outside stadium.

12:14 - Someone put the name Spurrier on the back of their Ben Hanks 11 UF jersey.

12:21 - A guy sees a man selling sandwiches, and tells him, "If it's not an italian sausage, fuck your dad's little fucking homemade sandwiches". Not even sure exactly what this means, but it sounds awesome.

12:26 - Mark and I have to go to the bathroom, so we take a piss on the team buses.

12:34 - Mark is drinking a beer out of a Zephyrhills bottle. A lady cop on a horse tells him that is "the most covert beer she has seen".

Ron Paul people, signs and campaign stuff are absolutely everywhere. You would think he was the actual frontrunner.

12:40 - We meet Ashley. Ashley is important because she has our tickets.

Our seats on on the goaline for the goal that says "Michigan", about 17 rows up. We are hoping that we get a birds eye view of a close play.

1:08 - Already drunk - Kickoff.

1:21 - Michigan TD. Poor defense on Florida's part. Only good play was a bad intentional grounding call.

1:30 - Gator people around us are complaining about standing up, specifically one guy and two ladies, one of which seems to be with him. Apparently they are not real football fans! I am now convinced that Michigan will win simply because of these fans. Florida people can be soooo stupid.

1:38 - One of the guys asking us to sit down just said to his friends, "Come on, we need to get some life in this crowd." CLOWN!!!

1:49 - Gators TD.

2:09 - Number 19 on the Gators D is imploring the Gator fans to stand up. Very interesting given our previous episode with Beavis and Buttsnatch asking us to sit down.

2:16 - Michigan TD - Mike Hart.

2:22 - Skates (Percy Harvin), got caught from behind by Morgan Trent, a junior cornerback who just showed incredible speed on the play. On that play, he just made himself a player to watch for next season.

2:30 - Big sack of Tim Tebow after a TD was called back because Florida did not have enough men on the line of scrimmage.

2:31 - Michigan blocks a field goal attempt.

2:33 - Great play call by Michigan. They line up four receivers left and throw a tight end screen right. Great execution.

2:35 - Big Mike Hart fumble.

2:37 - The announcer says that the "Central Florida Hotel and Lodging Association welcomes you to central Florida." Really, where else would they welcome me?

2:42 - Interception at the 1 - really bad pass by Chad Henne on the double option.

2:52 - I go to the bathroom, and I overhear two guys talking about what a good pro prospect former Heisman winner Gino Torino from Miami was. Assuming they meant Gino Torretta - DOPES!

2:58 - Michigan TD.

3:01 - First half ends, 1 hour and 53 minutes after it started.

3:11 - While walking through the crowd getting refreshments, a lady grabs her kid and says, "I know that your natural direction takes you toward french fries, but you have to keep going straight."

3:29 - Onsides pooch kick recovered by Michigan. Florida caught completely off guard.

3:34 - Michigan TD by Mike Hart.

3:45 - Florida TD.

3:53 - Big Hart fumble. Dumbass who asked us to sit down says, "this must hurt his draft status". This guy obviously doesn't know anything about football.

4:01 - Florida TD.

4:08 - End of third quarter - 28 to 28.

4:12 - Guy wearing a Spartan shirt walks by. A UF fan tells his kid that they are Michigan's big rival. Apparently, he never heard of Ohio State. I am guessing that fan was in geography class with Channing Crowder.

4:18 - 19, 23 and 25 of Florida's defense all want their fans to stand up. Amazing. I thought we were all supposed to sit down, at least according to the three Florida fans behind us.

4:19 - Michigan field goal.

4:30 - Big Florida interception on a tipped screen.

4:34 - Florida TD, by Skates. Florida up 35-31.

4:37 - In the bathroom, and I spy a Danny Wuerrfel New Orleans Saints jersey.

4:41 - Michigan TD, 38 - 35. This touchdown set up by a huge catch by Arrington on the sideline in which he catches the ball with the defender's back.

4:47 - UF goes for it on 4th down. Dumb call with 2:47 left in the game. Punt and play field position.

4:52 - Field goal Michigan to go up 41 to 35. UF needs a touchdown now.

4:55 - Kids in front of us rooting for Florida ask everyone to stand up, saying, "a loss will be your fault if you don't". I hope that those kids forever blame the three stooges behind us.

4:57 - 4th down scramble hail mary - no good. Michigan ball with 1:48 left.

4:59 - 3 hour 51 minute game mercifully ends. Good bye for Lloyd Carr. With as much crying as he has done this year, he always has a spot open on Dick Vermeil's staff.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

NFL Divisional Playoffs Predictions

We here at We Make It Rain love football and gambling, so here are our predictions for this weekend's NFL Divisional Round Playoffs. Betting lines from canbet.com.

Seattle (+8) v. Green Bay

Out of all the remaining teams, Seattle probably has the most suspect running game. It is interesting that they play the Packers, who at the beginning of the season looked as if they would have one of the most suspect running games in the entire league. Enter Ryan Grant, who has had the second most rushing yards in the NFL since week 8. In addition, the Packers receivers have really emerged as a force this year, with Jennings, Driver and Donald Lee becoming not only good targets for Favre, but also viable playmakers in their own right.

Seattle has the most underrated quarterback of the past 5 years, Matt Hasselback, who has finally found some receivers that don't automatically drop the ball out of habit. Bobby Engram had 94 catches for 1,147 yards. Shaun Alexander, however - DONE!

On the defensive side of the football, Patrick Kerney has emerged as a pass rushing force with 14.5 sacks this year, second in the NFL. However, the Packers are likely to call a lot of timing routes, and look for Farve to throw the ball well before the Seahawks pass rush has time to make their presence felt. Plus, Seattle's secondary is suspect. Meanwhile, the Packers play solid team defense, with linebacker Nick Barnett leading the way with 131 tackles, good for 5th in the NFL.

If I thought that Shaun Alexander had anything left, I would love to pick the Seahawks in this one, but I can't. The do play it close enough to cover.

The Seahawks, plus the 8.

Jacksonville (+13.5) v. New England

Everyone would love to see an upset here, and make New England finish with the worst possible record mathematicallly for a team of their talent, 16-1. If you don't understand that sentence, don't worry, ask me to explain it to you.

It is not going to happen. Jacksonville can run the ball on anybody, and with Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew, they have the best backfield tandem in the NFL. Both are capable taking any run to the house for 6. As good as Garrard has been this year, he just doesn't have the total passing package to keep New England's defense honest. The receivers are not big threats, and with Asante Samuel covering one side of the field, the Pats linebackers can load up against the run. I believe Jacksonville may get yards rushing, but I look for New England to limit the big play.

New England is the most powerful offense ever. Brady, Moss and the team all set records for touchdowns. Wes Welker lead the NFL in receptions with 112 (tied with T. J. Houshmandzadeh). And although Belicheck abandoned the run for most of the year, Maroney still averaged 4.5 yards per carry. Jacksonville's defense is one of the most physically toughest in the league. However, New England has proven that it can score against anyone, including the Jaguars.

Don't look for an upset here. Take the Patriots, and give the 13.5.

San Diego (+9.5) v. Indianapolis

This game is a rematch from the game earlier this year when Peyton Manning absolutely IMPLODED! 6 interceptions. Probably would have thrown more had he not run out of time. The Colts offense has not seemed as explosive as in the past, likely due to all of the injuries to the wide receivers. The immortal Craphonzo Thorpe even saw significant playing time. I do not expect Manning to have the same type of game. I look for the Cotls to score almost at will against the Chargers D. Although Merriman, Phillips, Castillo and Cromartie are among the best in the game, the Chargers do not have enough defensive firepower to compete with the Colts.

The Colt defense is once again solid, led by NFL Defensive Player of the year Bob Sanders. Sanders is the type of safety that simply looks forward to making hits in the running game, in addition to the standard role of pass defense. Sanders leads a defense that will be matched up against an offense coached by Norv Turner. NORV TURNER! I don't care how many LaDanian Tomlinsons you have, it is hard to overcome that albatross. Plus, Antonio Gates is hurt.

Take the Colts and give the points.

New York Giants (+7.5) v. Dallas Cowboys

This game is looking like the prime game for the favored team to lose. The home team has never won all 4 divisional round games since the NFL switched to the wildcard format. This might be the game for the underdog.

First, the Cowboys have yet to figure out that they need to use Marion Barber as the every down back. He simply brings more to the table than Julius Jones. I do believe the Cowboys could use Jones so that Barber does not wear down, however, this is the playoffs. You have to play your best players. Second, Tony Romo has not been the same since his thumb injury. I think the injury has had more of an effect on him than anyone in the Cowboys would admit. Owens is back from his injured ankle, and even though he may be able to play, I believe his speed, quickness and agility might be limited enough to make his matchup with the Giants seconday more even. With the extra second or two that it might take the receivers to get open, the Giants pass rush should be able to get to Romo. Once that happens, look for Flozell Adams to commit multiple false starts. Jason Witten, though, has simply been the best tight end in football this year.

For the Giants, Eli Manning has played much better as of late, and Ahmad Bradshaw has provided the tough running that this Giants team needs to win. Assuming Plaxico Burress is able to continue his level of play with his ankle improving, the Giants offense might be able to score a lot on the Cowboys. Roy Williams is great in run coverage, but the safeties can be suspect in pass coverage. I look for Eli to throw the ball often to challenge the Cowboys secondary.

The Cowboys beat the Giants handily in the first two games, but this is not the same Cowboys football team. Likewise, this is not the same Giants team, which has been so consistently inconsistent this year. I don't think the Giants will win, but take the Giants and the 7.5 points.

Happy Football, and don't drink too much. Well, at least not much more than normal.