It HAD to be a Hoax, right?

Unfortunately, I have been obssessed by Ortiz-gate over the last few weeks. No, not the sub .150 batting average to open the year. I have been closely following the Ortiz jersey buried in the foundation of the new Yankee Stadium. How ridiculous is this story? Seriously? A Red Sox fan throws a jersey into the concrete pour for a stadium to create a curse against one of the winningest sports franchises of all time? Really?

Well, I am going to be the first person to say it...It didn't happen.

The digging out of the jersey obviously happened. We saw it. But I am positive that the the storyline was fabricated. This is a hoax, and we are all the fool.

Let me pose a few questions:

1. Don't we think that there were at least as many Yankee fans working on the stadium as Red Sox fans? One person does not pour a foundation, it takes several teams of people. Don't you think that if someone threw a Red Sox jersey into the pour that he would have the piss beat out of him? Shouldnt someone have told a supervisor? Who was inspecting this job?


2. The Yankees have not won a World Series since 2000. The Red Sox have won two this decade. The balance of power appears to be shifting north and Yankee Nation can't be happy with this. Doesn't it seem plausible to invent a possible curse to throw the fan base off of bad personnel decisions on pitching and an aging lineup?


3. Hank Steinbrenner. He was 15 years old when George bought the team. He watched his father find a way into the headlines like it was sport. Doesn't this seem like something a spoiled kid might do? Don't ever let anyone upstage you. These are the New York F*&king Yankees, you are nothing!

So, here is what I think happened...Hank pays a crew to stage Jerseygate (Ortizgate if you like) in an effort to deflect attention away from an average baseball team and to announce his presence. You sell the Jersey on Ebay for $175,100 with proceeds benefiting a Boston based charity. And kablam, you kill off a curse that may or may not have even been real.

I love it! All of life should work like this. What if you could bury a pair of prized underwear under an ex-girlfriend's house? Tell her about it later, donate them to Goodwill and vex the curse of her on your future relationships...

It seems to me that Hank Steinbrenner is at the front edge of a fantastic sports revolution and we all ought to find a way to climb on board. This is baggy shorts in the NBA, flat brims on MLB caps, and sports reporters as television stars. It is the future!

I am ready, are you?