We're Going Streaking

As a follow-up to Sinickal's last post, I thought that I would countdown the 5 greatest streaks in sports. Since this topic should need no explanation, let's dive right in, in reverse order.

5. Chicago Cubs - 99 years - Most years making fans say "Wait 'til Next Year". Although some may have caught "Fukudome Fever", don't expect this streak to be broken this year. For every great team that the Cubs put together, there is always a Leon Durham, a Steve Bartman or a Dusty Baker to bail out the rest of the league. That and Aramis Ramirez will probably hit 35 homers and miss 45 games this year.

4. Christian Laetnner - 1 stomping - Most times stomping on a player from an opposing team (Aminu Timberlake for example) in the NCAA tournament while not (a) being ejected; (b) having a technical foul called on him; (c) having any type of foul called on him; or (d) having any punishment doled out to him in any way, shape or form, and going on to hit the last second shot that carries his team into the Final Four over a team with a bunch of quality guys playing above their heads that actually deserved to go to the Final Four after everything they did to ressurect their storied program. Phew. And no, I am not bitter.

3. Byron Nelson - 11 tournaments - Most consecutive PGA tournament wins in a row. Although Tiger certainly has the talent to do something like this, the number of really good players at the PGA level will keep this from happening ever again. Plus, with the Masters around the corner it's almost time to start talking golf.

2. A. C. Green - 1,192 games - Most consecutive NBA games played without having sex. This streak is so remarkable simply because it will never be broken again. Some future hotshot (or not so hotshot) may play as many games in a row, but certainly not without succombing to the fairer sex at some point during that streak.

1. Adam "Pacman" Jones - 233 weeks (and still going) - Most consecutive weeks of attending at least one strip club. Enough said.

What have you ever won 20 times in a row?

Okay, if you are paying attention to the NBA - and judging by the tv ratings, you are not - you know that one of the great winning streaks in sports history is in progress. Yes, the Houston Rockets have won 20 in row. That is not a misprint. 20 IN A ROW!

So, what does this mean...

Well, let's put this into perspective:

1. Pop the champaign! It's three more than the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
2. The Rockets went from 4 games over .500 (middle of the pack in the Western Conference) to 24 games over .500 (1 game off the best record in the West).
3. Let me repeat that, the Rockets may be playing the Lakers on Sunday for the best record in the Western Conference!
4. The Lakers have the best record in the West? Where have I been? Oh, that's right, watching hockey.
5. The Rockets have won 8 in a row without Yao Ming.

That always prompts the easy joke - What does Dirk Nowitzki scream when he turns an ankle?

Wait for it.....

Yao!

You know, as I was going through relevant statistics regarding this, I stumbled across a lot of stuff. This is unrelated, but were you aware that the Celtics have also won 10 in a row? Not only do they have the best record in basketball, but they have 6.0 games in the loss column over the next best team in the NBA, and a 17.5 game lead on the second place team in the Atlantic Division! Oh, and the Pistons have the second best record. I know that people think that the Western Conference is by far the most competitive, but I haven't even mentioned Lebron James yet. For once, I am looking forward to the NBA playoffs. This could be one of the best ever.

Back to the Rockets...Here is why it doesn't matter. They would need another month to get to the all-time record held by the 1971-72 LA Lakers and there next 6 games (in nine days) are Bobcats, Lakers, Celtics, @ Hornets, @Warriors, @ Suns.

21 wins in a row is a great achievement. It is not however, 504 in a row. That all-time team sports mark is held by the Miller Place High School (NY) Badminton team.

Reason #2 We Hate Lawyers

Lawyers, by virtue of their jobs, sometimes get the opportunity to go to places that the average, ordinary person doesn't. For example, take Wanda Jackson of Atlanta. She is an attorney, and on January 3, 2008, she was able to walk around the office of the Body Tap Strip Club. Now, most of us will never have the opportunity to have that much access to a strip club, at least not without $81,000.

Allegedly, Ms. Jackson (go figure, a Ms. Jackson living in the home city of Outkast), was sitting in the office when the owner walked into the hall to deal with a member of our Patron Saint's entourage. Ms. Jackson "followed to gawk". Of all the things in a strip club at which to gawk, Ms. Jackson wants to go see Pacman and his entourage. Bad idea number 1. At that point, an argument ensued (don't they always). Bad idea number 2. Allegedly, our almighty Patron Saint lunged at Ms. Jackson and punched her in the left eye.

Now, if you are going to be wandering around in a strip club with the ever present Pacman, you have to learn that anything, and I mean anything, could happen. Despite being privileged to move around in locales about which the rest of us can only dream, lawyers think they can do anything, but they can't. And that is reason number 2 why we hate lawyers:

THEY CANNOT TAKE A PUNCH!

If they could, Ms. Jackson would have just given back to Pacman as good as she (allegedly) received, a scuffle would have occurred, and then they would have gone back out to the front and had beers together. (Or someone would have been stabbed or shot - who knows). Instead, Ms. Jackson asked for an arrest warrant against our Patron Saint. The nerve. Lawyers will do anything to keep our Patron Saint off the field.

I Think They Call It Hockey...

Guess where I was yesterday?

I was in Philips Arena for something called Hockey. Yeah, I am pretty sure that's what it was called.

It was weird...There was ice, and people on skates with sticks. Like nothing I had ever seen on television. My tickets were free, so they let us sit in something called a club section - in the center of the arena, seven rows off the ice. I must say, I enjoyed myself!

Here were some of my observations from this "event:"

• Apparently, this is a professional sport. They even pay the players.


• The organizers of the event were attempting a white out. Didn't work since the team wore its BLUE jerseys! That's right, Colorado was in white.


• There were a whole lot of fans dressed in the same black color as the seats in the arena.


• The Atlanta team is called the Thrashers. I think I knew that, but I am not sure

Hockey is clearly dead in America. Seriously, raise your hand if you think that you can name all six divisions and the current points leaders. It is amazing to me how far the sport has fallen.

By the way, did you know that the NHL All-Star Game was here a couple of weeks ago? Neither did I. Oh, it happened two blocks from my house.

Now, I am not just about reporting problems. I am also about solutions. So, here are mine:

1. Bring back fighting! I was so angry about all of the "almost" fights.


2. Get off Versus and get a network deal. If Notre Dame can do it, so can you


3. Retract some teams. Seriously, hockey in Atlanta? Carolina? Miami? Phoenix? Maybe we can put a team in Key West.


4. Bring back fighting! Oh, I said that already.

All in all, a boring but fun night. I recommend it for all.....

Makin' it Rain....Cowboy Style

Look who has finally arrived! Oh, hell yes...It's your boy, Sinickal.

I am sure that you all are following closely the plight of our Patron Saint. That's right, the Pacman hasn't even been reinstated to the league yet and Jerry Jones is already about to make it rain.

Don't believe me? Well, while you are reading about non-updates regarding Pacman's potential situation in Dallas, consider this...HE ISN'T ABLE TO PLAY. He may not be re-instated this year!

I wonder if Pacman has had a pole and stage installed in his house yet. At least Jerry can stop by and practice making it rain before trading away his draft for Darren McFadden. It's about time Karma thought about repaying Cowboy fans for that Hershel Walker trade in 1989.

So Long NFL, Hello Hall of Fame

As I am sure everyone is well aware by now, an NFL great, truly one of the greatest to ever play his position, announced his retirement from professional football yesterday. Certainly this man needs no introduction, but his history is long and interesting.

He was born and played high school football in the rural (and I mean rural!) South. Having played various positions in high school, he went to college where he played a position that wasn't a big emphasis for him in high school. Having rather easily made the transition in college, he led his team to a victory over Florida State.

Even though he was known as a hard charging partier, he earned seven Pro-Bowl berths during his illustrious career, and even led his team to a Super Bowl championship.

On the field, he was well known for his personality in addition to his talent and skill, and this as much as anything led to his notoriety.

Now that he is retired, it is a foregone conclusion that he will be inducted into the Hall of Fame as one of the greatest players of his era, one of the greatest players at his position, and truly one of the remarkable characters in NFL history.

That is why, in just five short years, the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio will welcome him with open arms. And when that happens, there will be tens of thousands of people in attendance to see WARREN SAPP give his acceptance speech.

Spearing Some Marlins

As the calendar turns to March, those of us in South Florida automatically start to think about baseball. Spring training abounds, and northern baseball fans make their yearly pilgrimage to my town in order to watch their favorite team, escape the horrid winter weather, and take my parking spots at my regular pubs. Ahhh baseball. Since it is now March, it seems a perfect time to write my first, and quite possibly only, preseason preview. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Florida Marlins.

In some respects, the Florida Marlins are a model franchise. They compete for a World Series championship at least once a decade, have not lost a playoff series in their admittedly short history and their management has an incredible eye at identifying young talent. However, something seems to be missing (well, more than one thing for sure). That something is recognizable and identifiable players around whom the team is defined. That trend continues this year. Outside of Hanley Ramirez, I would doubt that any non-season ticket holder could name 5 Marlins. WAIT - they have season ticket holders?! Who knew?!

In 1997, the Marlins won their first World Series in franchise history, after making their debut in 1992. That team had not only good players, but also very recognizable players: Gary Sheffield, Devon White, Moises Alou, Kevin Brown, Al Leiter, Charles Johnson. What happened? After determining that winning a World Series did not necessarily equate with greater profits, the owner/management dismantled the team. At least they waited an entire week before releasing Alou. ONE WEEK!!!

The fan base was outraged, but in retrospect, the team did great. They packaged known talent for unknown prospects, almost all of whom seemingly hit the big time. Then, in 2003, only six years after winning their first World Series, the Marlins won their second, with an assist by two guys named Bartman and Baker. (Bartman got the blame, but Baker was the real goat in that series, by the way). That team also had stars: Josh Beckett, Pudge Rodriguez, Mike Lowell, and the emerging Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera. Then, as if on cue, the team was dismantled again, although this time much slower and subtler (if that is even a word).

As a quick aside, what teams outside of the traditional powers, wouldn't love to win a World Series every 6 to 10 years and then rebuild in between, so long as the fans new that the rebuilding would be successful and culminate in an actual chance to go and win the World Series after a few years. It could be worse, the Marlins could be the Cubs, and not win anything in, well, let's just call it 100 years. Back to the column.

Having traded Beckett and Lowell to the Red Sox, the Marlins received Hanley Ramirez and Anibal Sanchez, an emerging perennial All-Star and a pitcher who has already thrown a no-hitter. In 2006, the team had 6 rookies with at least 20 Home Runs. The team seemed on cue for another run in either 2008 or 2009 (preferably 2009 just to keep the every six years string going). They had known quantities ready for 2009, Cabrera, Ramirez and the ever popular D-Train. Then, something happened on the way to their appointed date with destiny. The Marlins traded Willis and Cabrera to the Detroit Tigers for a package of about 6 players.

Now, by all accounts the package received by the Marlins is loaded with prospects, included some very live arms, and at least one potentially potent bat. (Don't ask who - if I told you the names you could then be able to name 5 Marlins - besides, the actual prospects are irrelevant for the purposes of this column). From reading and listening to those who follow minor league baseball, the Marlins may have acquitted themselves very well in this trade, especially since it appears that the league has figured out Dontrelle Willis, whose numbers have declined in the past few seasons. But even though the Marlins may ultimately win the numbers game with this trade, the Marlins are still missing any names or personalities that will draw fans to the ballpark.

And that my friends, is the problem with the Marlins. There is absolutely no reason to watch this team. Do they have talent? Absolutely. Are a lot of the players on this team going to have long established careers in the majors? Yes. Do fans want to watch Dan Uggla flawlessly turn a double play or Miguel Olivo continue to be a league leader in hitting when swinging at the first pitch or even Jeremy Hermida play two amazing games followed by eight games in which he looks completely lost at the plate and in the field? NO!!!

What this team needs is someone for whom to root and cheer, a reason for the kids to become excited about the team and a reason for baseball fans to be excited about the possibilities, even if those possibilities are literally the proverbial "next year". They need a player that can singlehandedly be responsible for a sellout - thereby giving exposure to the guys like Uggla, Olivo, Mike Jacobs, Cameron Maybin, Andrew Miller and the almost immortal Rick VandenHurk (OK - so now you know 5 other players).

Perhaps the Marlins already have that player in Hanley Ramirez. If you are a baseball fan, he is an absolute must see. He still needs some work on defense, but he puts on a show every single night. However, given the recent history, most Marlins fans are resigned to the fact that he is going to be traded in the next couple of years in a salary-cutting deal that probably will bring several really good prospects. Since the fans already believe that Ramirez will not be around for any length of time, no need to invest any emotional capital in him now, right? (Or actual dollars - unless you want to go ahead and buy that future throwback Ramirez Marlins jersey).

Without a reason to watch this team, and without hope for any postseason titles, the Marlins fans need something to get them through baseball season. Which is why I am going to watch Pudge, D-Train and Cabrera on the Tigers. If that doesn't work, perhaps Joe Girardi can keep the players motivated - once all the prospects blossom and are traded to the Yankees. Until then, here's hoping that Anibal Sanchez's next no-hitter is pitched on the road, so perhaps some people can actually see it live and in person. Until the team's strategy changes, expect to see many more of last year's Marlins-Nationals games, where only 700 people attend.