The Patron Saint Lives

The Patron Saint - Adam "Pacman" Jones lives!!!  He was signed late in the preseason by the Denver Broncos to a one year deal, where he will serve as the primary punt returner and third/fourth corner/defensive back mentor.  Yes, I said mentor.  Don't @me!!!

In Denver, Jones is reunited with head coach Vance Joseph, who served as Pacman's defensive coordinator in 2014 and 2014 when Jones was a Pro-Bowler, having also been named All-Pro in 2014.

PacMan, the 6th pick from West Virginia, is one of 5 remaining first round draft picks from the 2005 NFL draft that is still currently playing in the NFL - a list that includes LBs Thomas Davis (14th pick - Georgia) and Derrick Johnson (15th pick - Texas) and more importantly QBs Alex Smith (1st pick - Utah) and Aaron Rodgers (24th pick - California).  This list also includes standout ESPN/SEC Network analysts Marcus Spears and David Pollock.  Cornerbacks from this first round also included Antrel Rolle (8th pick - Miami), Carlos Rogers (9th pick - Auburn), Fabian Washington (23rd pick - Nebraska) and Marlin Jackson (28th pick - Michigan).

So, how did Jones fare in his initial game with the Broncos?  Jones returned 2 punts for 9 yards (4.5 average) and on defense he had 2 solo tackles - and AN INTERCEPTION!!!  All in a 27 - 24 victory over the Seattle Seahawks.

Long live the Patron Saint!!!

Pac Man Fever (Week 3 Edition)

Here is your up-to-date stats of everyone's favorite cornerback, Adam "Pac Man Jones".

Pacman led the Cowboys in tackles with 6 solo and 2 assists. He also forced a fumble. That gives him 13 tackles for the year. He had 3 punt returns for a total of 12 yards.

But most importantly, our Patron Saint is 3-0.

Pac Man Fever

Not much defense at all in Monday night's game, and that means nothing spectacular for our Patron Saint. Again, he led his Cowboys to victory, and shouldn't that be all that matters?

Pacman's stats - 4 tackles and 0 assists on defense. That's 5 tackles on the year total. He also handled 3 punt returns at a 3 yard average. Yearly totals - too small to really care.

Pac Man Fever

After being out of the NFL for what seemed like forever, our Patron Saint made his return Sunday against the Cleveland Browns starting in place of the injured Terrence Newman. Although his numbers were not incredible, the Cowboys did win 28-10 and Pacman and his compatriots held the vaunted Browns passing attack to 114 yards.

Pacman's stats - 1 tackle and 0 assists on defense. He also handled 2 punt returns at a 4 yard average.

As he becomes settled into a rhythm of playing every week, Pacman is sure to explode.

Cedric the (Not So) Entertainer

The Chicago Bears, both Sinickal and my favorite team, decided to release talented but ultimately unproductive running back Cedric Benson this week after his second arrest in one month for drunken operation of heavy mechanized vehicles. Although he maintains his innocence, the first instance stemming from a stop on a lake outside Austin, Texas in his boat and the second after being stopped leaving a social meeting with some friends after "a couple of drinks", the Bears ultimately felt that these distractions, along with his Shaun Alexander-like ability to go down after gaining 3 yards upon first contact, would be detrimental to the team.

Now, this leaves the Bears with a serious dearth of running backs on the roster, and no running backs with any real starting experience. (The do have Matt Lawrence, P.J. Pope and Garrett Wolfe, along with Adrian Peterson who just underwent an appendectomy). This means that the Bears hope for a running game rests upon the 44th pick in the NFL Draft, Matt Forte from Tulane, as well as a much improved (I hope) offensive line. Couple this with the much publicized QB troubles, and the Bears seem to be starting the 2008 NFL campaign on a much less than offensive foot. (Except for Robbie Gould's - his is gold).

However, I welcome the release of Cedric Benson. He simply wasn't tough enough to be the type of running back that would live up to the expectations of being the fourth pick in the 2005 draft. In fact, Robert Guillaume may have been a tougher Benson.

When did I come to this conclusion? How about the instant that the Bears selected Cedric Benson - IN APRIL 2005 WHEN HE CRIED AFTER HIS NAME WAS CALLED AT THE NFL DRAFT!!! THAT'S RIGHT, CRIED!!!.

Now, perhaps I can understand that some people would show emotion at realizing their life-long dream of playing in the NFL. Nah, never mind. I CAN'T!!! Especially not when it was a foregone conclusion that Benson was going to be drafted no worse than 5th that year, and had the possibility of being drafted second or third. He knew that he was not only going to be drafted by the NFL, but drafted incredibly high. What on earth was there to cry about? Dumbass!

It is for instances like these where the NFL needs to institute a rule where the team that drafts a player has 10 minutes to observe that player after making the pick in order to determine if they want to keep their pick or select somebody else. It would be akin to the rule that gives you 72 hours to rescind a real estate contract or a contract for pest control services. Had this rule been in effect at the time of the 2005 draft, the Bears definitely would have considered Benson a vermin and drafted someone else, perhaps sixth pick Adam Jones, the Cornerback from West Virginia.

No way HE would have given the Bears any problems.

Just Like Music

Since Sinickal has called both Hopps and myself out for not including enough posts about our Patron Saint, I decided to just call up Mr. Pacman. To my surprise, he was very collegial, and after about an hour of talking about one thing or another, we started talking about music. At which point I just asked him blankly about his favorite songs. He obliged by actually giving me his Top 10 list. There were some surprises, as you can see. Here is the countdown, in reverse order with some comments from Pacman himself.

10. Tennessee - Arrested Development. "Think about it. The words themselves. 'For some strange reason it had to be - they guided me to Tennessee'. They just never told me that I wouldn't get to play every year I was in Tennessee."

9. Goodies - Ciara. "That chick is fine. Every time I hear this song I think to myself, yes I do want those goodies, and I would do whatever I had to do to get them goodies, but I am not hot and bothered."

8. Area Codes - Ludacris. "That's just how I live my life. The song might as well be biological [biographical]".

7. I'm Sorry - Ruben Stoddard. "This cat is so cool, and soulful. He just knows what he is talking about. Plus, I can just put this song on repeat instead of actually having to go to my press conferences."

6. Low - Flo-rida. "This song has a bangin' beat, and it's just so hot right now. Flo-rida is bringin' it fo' real. Plus the lyrics. I thought I was a bad boy, then Flo-rida talks about 'Make it rain, I'm makin' it snow'. Just tight."

5. Country Roads - John Denver. "It keeps me grounded and makes me think of my roots, you know, where I come from, so I's can keeps it real. Come on man, sing it with me. Country Roads, take me home. To the place where I belong. West Virginia, mountain mama. Take me home, Country Roads. I could not have said it better myself."

4. Dollar Dollar Bill - Wu Tang Clan. "One of the all time great songs from one of the all time great rap groups. The only reason this song doesn't rank higher is because they only talk about a couple of dollars, and not 81,000 of them."

3. Girlfight - Brook Valentine. "Man, who doesn't love a little girlfight. Just listen to the poetry. 'Oh snap, these bitches they act like cats. In the middle of the dance floor they preparin to scrap. They takin out their scrunchies and the pullin off their press-ons. The one on the right is the girlfriend, the one on the left is the other woman'. That is genius. I mean, who hasn't been in that situation?"

2. I'm in Love with a Stripper - T Pain. I asked Pacman if this song was biographical to which he responded "Yes". I then asked if he wanted to announce his love publicly and tell his fans which stripper was the object of his affection. He said, "Yeah, all of them." This response led me to question why he has so many (alleged) problems with strippers if he loves them. His simple response, "We always hurt the ones we love". We hear you Pacman. We hear you.

1. Make it Rain - Fat Joe featuring Lil' Wayne. I guess we all should have seen this one coming.

Just to make everyone jealous, I am posting this entry from the Biltmore Hotel pool in Coral Gables, Florida where I am attending the wedding of everybody's favorite NFL kicker. This hotel is absolutely phenomenal. It has quite simply the single largest pool that I have ever seen in my life. Great place for a wedding, or for a little getaway. I highly recommend it. Congrats to Lori and SJ (figure it out) on their upcoming nuptials.

We're Going Streaking

As a follow-up to Sinickal's last post, I thought that I would countdown the 5 greatest streaks in sports. Since this topic should need no explanation, let's dive right in, in reverse order.

5. Chicago Cubs - 99 years - Most years making fans say "Wait 'til Next Year". Although some may have caught "Fukudome Fever", don't expect this streak to be broken this year. For every great team that the Cubs put together, there is always a Leon Durham, a Steve Bartman or a Dusty Baker to bail out the rest of the league. That and Aramis Ramirez will probably hit 35 homers and miss 45 games this year.

4. Christian Laetnner - 1 stomping - Most times stomping on a player from an opposing team (Aminu Timberlake for example) in the NCAA tournament while not (a) being ejected; (b) having a technical foul called on him; (c) having any type of foul called on him; or (d) having any punishment doled out to him in any way, shape or form, and going on to hit the last second shot that carries his team into the Final Four over a team with a bunch of quality guys playing above their heads that actually deserved to go to the Final Four after everything they did to ressurect their storied program. Phew. And no, I am not bitter.

3. Byron Nelson - 11 tournaments - Most consecutive PGA tournament wins in a row. Although Tiger certainly has the talent to do something like this, the number of really good players at the PGA level will keep this from happening ever again. Plus, with the Masters around the corner it's almost time to start talking golf.

2. A. C. Green - 1,192 games - Most consecutive NBA games played without having sex. This streak is so remarkable simply because it will never be broken again. Some future hotshot (or not so hotshot) may play as many games in a row, but certainly not without succombing to the fairer sex at some point during that streak.

1. Adam "Pacman" Jones - 233 weeks (and still going) - Most consecutive weeks of attending at least one strip club. Enough said.

Reason #2 We Hate Lawyers

Lawyers, by virtue of their jobs, sometimes get the opportunity to go to places that the average, ordinary person doesn't. For example, take Wanda Jackson of Atlanta. She is an attorney, and on January 3, 2008, she was able to walk around the office of the Body Tap Strip Club. Now, most of us will never have the opportunity to have that much access to a strip club, at least not without $81,000.

Allegedly, Ms. Jackson (go figure, a Ms. Jackson living in the home city of Outkast), was sitting in the office when the owner walked into the hall to deal with a member of our Patron Saint's entourage. Ms. Jackson "followed to gawk". Of all the things in a strip club at which to gawk, Ms. Jackson wants to go see Pacman and his entourage. Bad idea number 1. At that point, an argument ensued (don't they always). Bad idea number 2. Allegedly, our almighty Patron Saint lunged at Ms. Jackson and punched her in the left eye.

Now, if you are going to be wandering around in a strip club with the ever present Pacman, you have to learn that anything, and I mean anything, could happen. Despite being privileged to move around in locales about which the rest of us can only dream, lawyers think they can do anything, but they can't. And that is reason number 2 why we hate lawyers:

THEY CANNOT TAKE A PUNCH!

If they could, Ms. Jackson would have just given back to Pacman as good as she (allegedly) received, a scuffle would have occurred, and then they would have gone back out to the front and had beers together. (Or someone would have been stabbed or shot - who knows). Instead, Ms. Jackson asked for an arrest warrant against our Patron Saint. The nerve. Lawyers will do anything to keep our Patron Saint off the field.

Makin' it Rain....Cowboy Style

Look who has finally arrived! Oh, hell yes...It's your boy, Sinickal.

I am sure that you all are following closely the plight of our Patron Saint. That's right, the Pacman hasn't even been reinstated to the league yet and Jerry Jones is already about to make it rain.

Don't believe me? Well, while you are reading about non-updates regarding Pacman's potential situation in Dallas, consider this...HE ISN'T ABLE TO PLAY. He may not be re-instated this year!

I wonder if Pacman has had a pole and stage installed in his house yet. At least Jerry can stop by and practice making it rain before trading away his draft for Darren McFadden. It's about time Karma thought about repaying Cowboy fans for that Hershel Walker trade in 1989.