Our Namesake

As is reported by ESPN's Ed Werder, Our Namesake is now a Dallas Cowboy. He still has not been re-instated by the NFL. As a fan of Big D I am ported back in time to the days of the good ole' Cowboys: Jail/ Practice Facility Whore House/ Strippers/ Cocaine...(3 Championships)

Quick Recap of our Namesake:

July 13, 2005- Arrested and charged with assault and felony vandalism after a nightclub altercation.

October 2005- State of West Virginia filed a petition stating that Jones had not been contacting his probation officer and that he had not reported his July 2005 arrest.

March 23, 2006- Charged with marijuana possession in Fayetteville, Georgia.

August 25, 2006- Arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication after being ordered by the cops to leave a Murfreesboro night club several times.

October 26, 2006- Jones was issued a citation for misdemeanor assault after a female student from Tennessee State University claimed that Jones spit in her face at a Nashville night club.

Feburary 19, 2007- The facts are disputed and no charges have been made yet, but Jones was in the middle of a fight and shooting at a strip club in Las Vegas that left one man paralyzed and two more wounded. The fight broke out after Jones showered strippers on stage with $81,000 dollars. The club owner claims Jones was beating a strippers head against the bar while claiming to kill one of the club’s employees.

January 3, 2008- Pacman is accused of punching Wanda S. Jackson in the face at an Atlanta strip club called the Body Tap Strip Club

Although our namesake has a higher moral fortitude than say, the following previous Big D stars:

Hollywood Henderson: November 8 1983 - Henderson caught smoking crack with two underage girls. Hollywood was trading crack for sex. Go Hollywood - set the bar high.

Nate Newton: November 4, 2001 - Newton arrested for 213 pounds of pot in his car. About a month later gets busted with another 175 pounds in a van. Jail imminent.

Michael Irvin: March 4, 1996 - Irvin arrested in hotel room for snorting cocaine off a stripper's breast etc...trial features him in the full length fur coat.

I HOPE that he takes in the full opportunity bestowed upon him by the great city of Dallas to genuinely embrace his inner-heathen. There are a multitude of strip clubs along I35 between the stadium and the West End.

Just Like Music

Since Sinickal has called both Hopps and myself out for not including enough posts about our Patron Saint, I decided to just call up Mr. Pacman. To my surprise, he was very collegial, and after about an hour of talking about one thing or another, we started talking about music. At which point I just asked him blankly about his favorite songs. He obliged by actually giving me his Top 10 list. There were some surprises, as you can see. Here is the countdown, in reverse order with some comments from Pacman himself.

10. Tennessee - Arrested Development. "Think about it. The words themselves. 'For some strange reason it had to be - they guided me to Tennessee'. They just never told me that I wouldn't get to play every year I was in Tennessee."

9. Goodies - Ciara. "That chick is fine. Every time I hear this song I think to myself, yes I do want those goodies, and I would do whatever I had to do to get them goodies, but I am not hot and bothered."

8. Area Codes - Ludacris. "That's just how I live my life. The song might as well be biological [biographical]".

7. I'm Sorry - Ruben Stoddard. "This cat is so cool, and soulful. He just knows what he is talking about. Plus, I can just put this song on repeat instead of actually having to go to my press conferences."

6. Low - Flo-rida. "This song has a bangin' beat, and it's just so hot right now. Flo-rida is bringin' it fo' real. Plus the lyrics. I thought I was a bad boy, then Flo-rida talks about 'Make it rain, I'm makin' it snow'. Just tight."

5. Country Roads - John Denver. "It keeps me grounded and makes me think of my roots, you know, where I come from, so I's can keeps it real. Come on man, sing it with me. Country Roads, take me home. To the place where I belong. West Virginia, mountain mama. Take me home, Country Roads. I could not have said it better myself."

4. Dollar Dollar Bill - Wu Tang Clan. "One of the all time great songs from one of the all time great rap groups. The only reason this song doesn't rank higher is because they only talk about a couple of dollars, and not 81,000 of them."

3. Girlfight - Brook Valentine. "Man, who doesn't love a little girlfight. Just listen to the poetry. 'Oh snap, these bitches they act like cats. In the middle of the dance floor they preparin to scrap. They takin out their scrunchies and the pullin off their press-ons. The one on the right is the girlfriend, the one on the left is the other woman'. That is genius. I mean, who hasn't been in that situation?"

2. I'm in Love with a Stripper - T Pain. I asked Pacman if this song was biographical to which he responded "Yes". I then asked if he wanted to announce his love publicly and tell his fans which stripper was the object of his affection. He said, "Yeah, all of them." This response led me to question why he has so many (alleged) problems with strippers if he loves them. His simple response, "We always hurt the ones we love". We hear you Pacman. We hear you.

1. Make it Rain - Fat Joe featuring Lil' Wayne. I guess we all should have seen this one coming.

Just to make everyone jealous, I am posting this entry from the Biltmore Hotel pool in Coral Gables, Florida where I am attending the wedding of everybody's favorite NFL kicker. This hotel is absolutely phenomenal. It has quite simply the single largest pool that I have ever seen in my life. Great place for a wedding, or for a little getaway. I highly recommend it. Congrats to Lori and SJ (figure it out) on their upcoming nuptials.