UF Taser Incident

Despite common belief, apparently it is not "Great, to Hate, the Florida Gators". This must be a huge misconception. Why do you ask, well let me tell you.

For starters, most of you have almost assuredly by now seen at least a portion of the video of the UF student being tasered at an event at which the junior Senator from Massachusetts spoke in Gainesville. If you haven't, scroll down a bit as my boy Hopps has uploaded the video to this illustrious blog.

Waiting for you to view.

Still waiting.

OK. It is pretty funny, huh? I at least think so, and so does about 3/4 of the free world. In Myanmar, they just call it "Wednesday".

Now you would think this incident is played out by now, with discussions over police tactics, selfish promotion by the student, ludicrous questions, and even why Senator Kerry was in Florida in the first place. He represents Massachusetts, which isn't even close to Florida. Heck, Massachusetts isn't even a state!!! (That's true by the way, look it up). (Oh yeah, and sorry Hopps - you don't live in an actual State.) Commentators have even brought out the issues surrounding the girl heard in the videotape (as well as her repeat performance the next day at the police station), and believe me, lots of people have already laughed at "Don't tase me, Bro."

Quick aside, if you haven't heard the audio of the same kid the next day at the police station - it is ridiculous. He asks for people to hurry up and help him because the police were going to kill him. The same girl is right by his side doing nothing more than screaming obnoxiously. I am pretty sure that he staged this whole thing just to get into her pants. If that was true, then I give him some credit for creativity, I usually just try talking to them. (Aside over.)

Now, I think the guy should have been tased (or is it tasered?) just for using the word bro, when no lesser authority on the English vernacular language than Shaquille O'Neal will tell you that the most commonly accepted form of the word is br, with the vowel dangling at the end of the syllable. Which vowel you ask? Any of them. He also should have been tased for saying, "Don't tase me". Some even suggest that he got what he deserved for simply acting like an idiot - not leaving the podium, asking stupid questions, not following instructions from law enforcement, and even flailing at law enforcement. However, none of those reasons are responsible for the tasing.

After much investigation, I was able to find some videotape that starts before the videotape that was circulated nationally. Once I receive the rights back from Senator Kerry and/or the University Florida (not sure who took it from me), I will upload it here. However, I did get a chance to view it. As it turns out, the extra law enforcement troops, the ones who "handled" the student, weren't even initially at the Kerry speech. They were summoned when the student had the audacity to comment to Senator Kerry that ...

1 - Tim Tebow still needs to develop as a quarterback;

2 - Tim Tebow can run and throw the short passes, but needs to work on his long ball and timing routes;

3 - Tim Tebow's rushing stats are artificially inflated because unlike other quarterbacks who have to scramble for their yards, Urban Meyer actually calls his quarterback running plays;

4 - Tim Tebow is not a legitimate Heisman candidate this year;

5 - Tim Tebow cannot be the greatest QB in Florida history because he hasn't won a title yet as a starting QB;

6 - Tim Tebow isn't even the best ultra religious QB in Florida history (see Wuerffel, Danny, aka Awful, Danny);

7 - Tim Tebow cannot play pass defense, thus keeping the Gators from winning the SEC, much less the BCS; and

8 - Tim Tebow is not better than Rex Grossman (Ed. Note - OH YES HE IS!!!)

(Ed. Note - If you don't know who Tim Tebow is, stop reading this blog. For good. I mean it.)

After point 2 - the extra law enforcement was summoned to the event. Unfortunately, since they were all watching Tim Tebow erect a house for a poor family in town singlehandedly after practice, it took them until after point 8 to arrive. Then the cameras started rolling.

So as you can see, the University of Florida Police were right in tasing (again, is it tasering?), this pompous, self righteous student. You don't make fun of Tim Tebow.

For those of you who may agree with any of the 8 statements made by the student, I direct you to the website of timtebowfacts.com. It will certainly enlighten your mind as to the greatness that is Tim Tebow.

Pepster