A. This list is completely objective as determined by absolute science and experimentation. It is in no way subjective. Not at all. Not even a little bit.
B. This list was chosen by me and me alone.
C. This list takes into account songs from various genres, but those genres with which I am most familiar are more highly represented. Regardless of genre, all of the songs should be classified as "popular" music, because most readers should at least recognize most of the lyrics, the songs, or at least the artist.
D. The definition of "greatest" means: (a) Lines that are absolutely genuinely great; (b) lines that are so bad that you just cannot help but notice them and repeat them often - even when not listening to the song; (c) lines so bad that they never should have even been written, or that that writer of that particular line should be punished by not being able to use communicative language ever again; or (d) multiple of the above. And yes, I get that some fantastic lines are left off this list. [Editor's note: Some of this column is for humor purposes, and not necessarily for accuracy in rankings, and in fact, a lot of the selections are to make fun of the artist/writer.]
E. The definition of "lyric" means any contiguous and continuous words, sentences or phrases. Thus a lyric could be a few words, a sentence, a verse/bridge or chorus, or any component thereof, so long as it is continuous it is one lyric.
F. Why 239? Because 10, 20, 50 and 100 seem too passe', 200 is not enough and 250 is just too ridiculous to even attempt. Plus, 239 feels like a sufficiently random number for my tastes. And, I didn't want to stop at 227, as it reminded me of that horrible television comedy series 227. (OK, so it really wasn't that horrible, but I hate myself for saying that.) Plus 81,000 lines, in honor of our patron saint would take me absolutely forever to complete.
G. Some of the absolute greats are not included, because it would be a travesty to choose certain lyrics of the true geniuses at the expense of other of their lines. So, U2, Prince, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Tupac, Eminem, Frank Sinatra, Beatles, Bob Dylan, Spyrogyra, Rolling Stones, Madonna, Wu-Tang Clan, and the greatest band in the history of the world for all time - the elements, Earth, Wind and Fire - are not included for that reason.
H. Listen, I understand that Prince is a musical genius, and also a lyrical genius. I understand the greatness that is the Beatles. That being said, you could do a top 200 list for each of them. That is why neither is present on this particular list.
For example, in "1999", Prince wrote "Tried to run from my destruction. You know I didn't even care", which summed up Generation X before Generation X was even labelled. Plus, the sexually charged songs like "Darling Nikki", "Lady Cab Driver" and "Little Red Corvette" are genius in how they transpose the hunter/hunted relationship between men and women. I cannot choose any of these lines over the others.
I. The Doors/Jim Morrison are also not included. Morrison was in essence a poet, and as a poet, would have hundreds and hundreds of lines that could qualify. I didn't want to do that much thinking, so he/they are not included either.
J. There are also no Dave Matthews lyrics chosen - primarily because I want to hear from their apologists as to what lyrics they think are so great and why they think the Dave Matthews Band is worthy of anything.
K. Journey did not make this list, nor should they.
A quick story. So I am with a buddy in Key West riding out Hurricane Frances in 2004, a Hurricane whose eye went right over my house. We were out drinking during the day to not think about the potential damage being done back home when a musician named Tyler Reeve is playing on stage at Irish Kevin's. After every song, some lady in the back keeps yelling out "Play some Journey!" After about the tenth time, Tyler yells back, "Journey Sucks!" I wholeheartedly concur. So for Tyler, no Journey on this list.
L. I have also neglected Hall and Oates. This is solely to perturb Sinickal.
M. No Morrissey lyrics (or the Smiths for that matter) because I did not want any of my readers to commit suicide while reading this.
N. Only 1 lyric chosen from any given artist is allowed in the list, and only 1 lyric from any given song is allowed.
O. Just because a lyric makes this list does not mean that the song, or even the artist is good, or even has any talent. As evidence of this fact, Ke$ha makes the list.
P. There are no songs about heroes, because as my friend Jenna F. says "Hero is the most overused word in the English language. Thus, no "Holding out for a Hero" from Bonnie Tyler or "Hero" from Mariah Carey.
Q. I also did not include Kansas' "Dust in the Wind", because I did not want to rip off the Most Excellent "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" with statements like "Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind." And, "Like sands through the hourglass, those are the days of our lives".
R. Also, the lyrics have to be from the actual songs, no mashups like Chris Berman once did when talking about a touchdown throw from "Mark calling up the posse, it's time to get Rypien to Andre I see a bad moon Rison".
S. Once the final rankings have been set, the author, i.e. me, has utilized my prerogative to adjust up or down a few seeds in order to create a better narrative - just like how they do the NCAA basketball tournament.
T. Some of the lyrics may be off a bit, just because the fun for me was ranking them, not necessarily typing them into this blog posting accurately.
U. Some of the lyrics are not suitable for children, so please do not take offense as the lyrics are not mine, and I am typing them as accurately as possible. If some musical lyrics are not suitable to you or your children, proceed with caution. That being said, some lyrics are not suitable for adults, so understand that while reading this list.
V. That being said, there are absolutely no lyrics chosen that have any type of sexual connotation or innuendo.
W. At some point I most likely have violated each and every one of my own rules, except rules J - there is no Dave Matthews, and rule K - no Journey!
X. One of these lyrics actually made it into my wedding vows. Any guesses as to which one? If you think Bruno Mars, I am telling you right now you are ABSOLUTELY WRONG and you probably do not know me very well.
Now here is the list, in ascending order!
239. Yeah I'm chillin' on a dirt road. Laid back swervin' like I'm George Jones. Smoke rollin' out the window, an ice cold beer sittin' in the console. Jason Aldean "Dirt Road Anthem" - This sounds about the right way to start reading this list. I suggest you all do the same.
238. All the crackheads, the critics, the cynics, and all my heroes in the methadone clinic. Kid Rock "Bawitadaba" - Not really that great a lyric, but those categories of individuals listed in this line are probably the only ones that will read this list in its entirety and through completion.
237. I know that you're lovin' me, 'cause you thug with me, who bust slugs for me? My baby. Ja Rule "Down Ass Bitch - I mean seriously, which one of you ladies has not busted slugs with your significant other?
236. Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation. And earthquakes are to a girl's guitar they're just another good vibration. And tidal waves couldn't save the world from Californication. Red Hot Chili Peppers "Californication" - OK, the first way under-ranked lyric, but I wanted to get all of you readers out there thinking early. This will start to foster debate, for sure.
235. I'm the type of guy that picks her up from work early. Takes her to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and breakfast. LL Cool J "I'm That Type of Guy" - What job does this girl have and what time does this girl normally get off work?
234. 'Cause I got Pac Man Fever (Pac Man Fever). It's drivin' me crazy (Drivin' me crazy). I got Pac Man Fever (Pac Man Fever). I'm goin outta my mind (Goin' outta my mind). Buckner and Garcia "Pac Man Fever" - You know that I had to get an homage to our Patron Saint in this list.
233. Throwing 'bout 30 stacks in the back make it rain like that 'cause I'm far from a scrub. Akon "I Wanna Fuck You" (Snoop Dogg) - Akon showing a hint of irony that escaped Alanis Morrissette in that if you are throwing 30 stacks to make it rain, you are most likely a scrub. Also a lot funnier if the words had been "Throwing out dirty stacks" instead of "30 stacks".
232. She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies. Knocking me out with those American thighs. ACDC "You Shook Me" - Not the most quoted line from this song, but if you just focus on the lyrics and not the sexual connotation, this is the best line.
231. You can't go on thinking nothing's wrong. Who's gonna drive you home, tonight? The Cars "Drive" - My first (of many) overreaches, as this likely is not the 231st best lyric of all time, but it gives me an excuse to use a picture of Paulina Porizkova, and still try to wonder how she ended up married to Rick Ocasek, the lead singer of The Cars, who is in the all time unattractiveness Hall of Fame.
230. The shareef don't like it. The Clash "Rock the Casbah" - How could he not like a picture of Porizkova? Assuming the lyric applies to this list and not to Porizkova, well, he better learn.
229. Without love, where would you be right now? Doobie Brothers "Long Time Runnin'" - That must have been how Ric Ocasek did it. With love.
228. You and me baby aint' nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Bloodhound Gang "The Bad Touch" - Or maybe it wasn't about love.
227. I'm not here for your entertainment. You don't really want to mess with me tonight. Just stop and take a second. I was fine before you walked into my life. 'Cause you know it's over, before it began. Keep your drink just give me the money. It's just you and your hand tonight. Pink "U and Ur Hand" - Only Pink can make rejection sound fun and sexy.
226. Make him feel the wrath, beat him and laugh. And when I finish them, I'm gonna ask him, who's the best, and if he don't say Moe Dee, I'll take my whip and make him call himself Toby. Kool Moe Dee "How You Like Me Now" - So this list just got real ... serious. This song is one that is much, much better than the sum of its parts - which is why this lyric is only ranked here - but this verse is amazing for the simple reason that while he is rapping about a metaphorical beating at the mic, Moe Dee references one of the toughest literal beatings in cinematic history.
225. My family from Cuba but I'm an American Idol making money like Seacrest. Pitbull "Give Me Everything" - This would rank higher if Seacrest was not responsible for such travesties as Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
224. Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage. Smashing Pumpkins "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" - My first year in law school, about 7 of us decided that we needed nemeses. We each picked out one different person in our section that would be our nemesis. Most of the time we had not even met this person yet, but every hero needs a villain right? Mine was a guy named Niederheusen, who had long hair and pale skin that resembled a vampire. This was before the onslaught of vampires and zombies in popular culture. Buffy was out, but that was about it. So, every time he was called on in class me, or one of my friends (OK - only me) would sing lowly "The world is a vampire" from Bullet with Butterfly Wings, however, when that became too obvious, I would just sing this line. So it is at 224, mostly for nostalgia purposes.
223. Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness, and cleanliness is godliness and god is empty. Just like me. Smashing Pumpkins "Zero" - I love this line, and I think that it has top 10 potential. Then, why is it at 223 you ask? Primarily because I cannot figure out what it means. I get the whole emptiness and loneliness, but the god is empty? At times I think he is saying that people that turn to God, or at least religion, must be empty and that they are trying to fill something that they do not have with religion, but at other times I think he is saying that God himself is vapid. Perhaps, however, since God made us in his likeness according to the Bible, then the Smashing Pumpkins must be saying that man himself is vapid. I vacillate between my own varying interpretations of this line. Once I settle on a meaning - up the charts it goes.
222. There might be a little dust on the bottle, but don't let it fool ya about what's inside. There might be a little dust on the bottle. It's one of those things that gets sweeter with time. David Lee Murphy "Dust on the Bottle" - This lyric would have been ranked much higher ten years or so ago, before I actually got old. Nevertheless, that Creole Williams was a smart dude.
221. Chickity China the Chinese chicken. Grab a drumstick and the brain stops tickin'. Watchin' X-Files with no lights on, we're dans la maison, I hope the Smoking Man's in this one. Like Harrison Ford I'm getting Frantic, like Sting I'm tantric, like snickers guaranteed to satisfy. Like Kurosawa when I make films. OK I don't make films, but if I did they'd have a samurai. Bare Naked Ladies "One Week" - So many random references that it just had to make the list. Plus who could keep this song out of their head in 1998? Nobody.
220. I whispered in her ear, Yeah (It's hard for a Pimp). Three 6 Mafia "Lolli Lolli" - This lyric makes the list only because of the year they won their Academy Award in 2006 (show was in 2006 for 2005) for Best Original Song of It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp from "Hustle and Flow", and their exuberance caused Jon Stewart - the host - to proclaim "How come they are the only people here that are excited". Jon Stewart later joked, "Three 6 Mafia - 1 Academy Award; Martin Scorsese - 0 Academy Awards". A slight which was rectified the following year as Scorsese won Best Director for The Departed.
219. One July, in the midnight hour, he climbed upon the water tower. Stood on the rail and painted a ten-foot heart ... In John Deere green, on a hot summer night, he wrote Billy Bob loves Charlene, in letters three foot high. Joe Diffie "John Deere Green" - This line is utterly ridiculous. Never mine - cross this off the list.
219. I want to be the girl with the most cake. He only loves those things because he loves to see them break. I fake it so real I am beyond fake. And someday you will ache like I ache. Hole "Doll Parts" - Now this is a much better lyric. Only four lines, and so much to parse through. "I fake it so real I am beyond fake, in and of itself is a top 50 line". I cannot make it any higher just in case she did have something to do with Kurt Cobain's overdose.
218. Going to the movies with your home girls crew, while the businessmen in suits be hawking you. LL Cool J "Around the Way Girl" - A quick poll for all the businessmen out there: Have any of you ever "hawked" anybody, and if so, who?
217. We said, Tell me all your thoughts on God. 'Cause I would really like to meet her and ask her why we're who we are. Dishwalla "Counting Blue Cars" - I bet you thought that this list would not become philosophical at any point, and if you did, you were wrong.
216. Shots, shots, shots shots, shots, shots. LMFAO "Shots" - Somehow great in its simplicity. Plus, it is nowhere near as philosophical as the previous song.
215. I'll clip your ass like a looter in a riot. Cypress Hill "Insane in the Membrane" - Speaking of shots!
214. 867-5309 Tommy Tutone "867-5309 (Jenny) - Who would have ever imagined people walking around singing out a telephone number. On the minus side, it was a precursor for every single commercial that put telephone numbers into jingles. I still remember the old Miami Herald commercial from the 1980s, "One Eight Hundred, Four Four One, Oh Four, Four, Four", which I understand makes absolutely no sense in writing with out the rhythm of the song.
213. Give me your number, and I'll call. I'll follow that ass in the mall. Trillville "Some Cut" - speaking of telephone numbers. Plus,I assume that Trillville would have called 867-5309 back in the day as well.
212. I think you better call Tyrone Erykah Badu "Call Tyrone" - Similar reasoning to the previous two lyrics on this list, because women would just run around town quoting this line over and over and over. Also completes the phone trilogy.
211. Nah, I think I'd rather do you after school like some homework. Tevin Campbell "Shhh" - Besides the obvious sexual innuendo, Campbell's song was released when he was 16. It was foreshadowing to today's blatant sexualism in R and B/Hip-Hop songs.
210. I'd start walking your way. You'd start walking mine. We'd meet in the middle 'neath that old Georgia pine. We'd gain a lot of ground 'cause we'd both give a little. There ain't no road too long when we meet in the middle. Diamond Rio "Meet in the Middle" - Great sentiment and a great philosophy to have in relationships. Ranked this low because it is told from the standpoint of young kids, so although the philosophy is deep, the words are actually childish.
209. The freaks come out at night. Whodini "The Freaks Come out at Night" - Because it is entirely accurate.
208. You can get with this; or you can get with that. Black Sheep "The Choice is Yours" - Never have two choices been more succinctly summarized in music.
207. Heaven help us, baby's got her bluejeans on. Mel McDaniel "Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On" - How many of us have not said something similar to this in real life, whether or not you have heard of the song. An older, but analogous phenomena to the yoga pants.
206. What's your name? G-Reg. What you do? Get head. How you do it? Drop my drawers and let her see my third leg. 7th Floor Crew "7th Floor Crew" - the greatest lyric ever from an actual college football team. In fact, the entire song should just be here.
205. Mami ven aqui. I want to be your papi chulo can't you see. Puff Daddy "Senorita". From South Florida, I had to go to a lyric in Spanish. Believe me, this line must be good because there is no way in heck I would ever want Puff Daddy to be on any list of "greatest" anything.
204. Skeet skeet skeet skeet. Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boys "Aww Skeet Skeet" - To quote Dave Chappelle, "As soon as you white people realize what skeet skeet means, ya'll are going to be some pissed off [people]".
203. Motorboatin' Little Big Town "Motorboatin'" - This is really a lyric. The name of the song is just one big double entendre.
202. But he wouldn't stop, and I ain't Ice Cube, but I had to take the brother out for being rude. Arrested Development "People Everyday". Still great even with the use of the word ain't. Plus, it had to do with defending someone's honor, and is a great homage to Sly and the Family Stone's Everyday People.
201. You gotta lick it, before we kick it. 20 Fingers "You Gotta Lick It" - Just to show that sexual innuendos posing as song lyrics are not just misogynistic. I thought about putting this at 169, because I am a teenage boy at heart, but the lyric is not good enough to be ranked that high.
200. Let me lick you up and down, 'til you say stop. Silk "Freak Me" - Point made 20 Fingers, and understood.
199. This girl walked by; she gave me the eye. I reached in the locker and grabbed a Spanish fly. Beastie Boys "Brass Monkey" - This line is more infamous than great, but it is included to show what people could get away with in the past, both in reality and in lyrics. There is no way this lyric could be written now.
198. Pull it all the way down. Clay D and Raheim "Skin to Win (Pull it All the Way Down)" - Another story: I went to college in the northeast, and my roommates never quite understood the whole 2 Live Crew, Miami booty-bass thing, and in fact, most did not even know that it was a "thing". Two of them, I will call them Scott 1 and Scott 2, came down to South Florida with me for Spring Break one year (let's say 1995). We land around 3, get home, unpack, grab a bite to eat and then hit the club. Well, it was more a bar that tried to turn into a club at night, but it was our first night and it was local and we were tired from travelling so we went there instead of a real club. We walk in, no less than 6 girls were on the bar dancing to this song. The first things we hear was "Pull it all the way down"! Scott 1 turned to Scott 2 and said something along the lines of Oh My God - He was right! Any Splack Pack song could go in this spot as well.
197. And we drive. Now that I have found someone I'm feeling more alone, than I ever have before. Ben Folds Five "Brick" - This is one of the 5 or 6 saddest songs of all time (Tim McGraw's "Don't Take the Girl" being the leader in the clubhouse), but this line is tremendous not only in the context of the song, but also in other contexts. People can identify with this situation even if they are not deciding whether to go through an abortion or not.
196. I believe that love is the answer. I believe, that love will find a way. Blessed Union of Souls "I Believe" - I figured that the answer to number 197 would have to be to find love, so this line seems appropriate right here.
195. Sexy can I visit you at work, when you sliding down the pole no panties no shirt. Ray-J "Sexy Can I" - One of the more elegant hip-hop lyrics about strippers, and since that is such a large sample size one of those lyrics needed to be on the list. Might have been higher if it wasn't for the fact that Ray-J is somewhat responsible for Kim Kardashian's fame.
194. I've never met a girl before, with much of a figure. So excuse me if I start to play, with your digital display. Ready for the World "Digital Display" - I gave myself the personal requirement to include Ready for the World in here at some point.
193. Mr. Dinkins would you please be my mayor. A Tribe Called Quest "Can I Kick It" - I am partial to political references, and I just love this song.
192. You know I love you like a fat kid loves cake. 50 Cents "21 Questions" - Sometimes simple similes are horrible (as is forced alliteration), yet this one somehow worked.
191. Marga-Daiquiri-Screw-Aloda on the Beach. Jerrod Neimann "One More Drinkin' Song" - If I am going to have some cake, I might want to wash it down with a drink. This one sounds as good as any for dessert.
190. Gluten Glieben Glauben Globen. Def Leppard "Rock of Ages" - It doesn't even make any sense, but somehow it worked so well that it was even sampled later by The Offspring.
189. All the chickenheads, be quiet. Fatman Scoop "Be Faithful" - Nonsensical, but don't we wish that all the chickenheads would, in fact, be quiet?
188. These hoes ain't loyal. Chris Brown "Loyal" - Really Breezy? I am not sure what is more surprising, that Brown would expect a woman that he categorizes as a "ho" to be loyal, or that a woman would want to be loyal to someone that refers to her as a "ho".
187. She drives me crazy. Fine Young Cannibals "She Drives Me Crazy" - Truth goes a long way.
186. Me and Mr. Wrong get along so good. Mary J. Blige "Mr. Wrong" - To how many ladies has this scenario happened?
185. Maybe I need some rehab, maybe I need some sleep. Ke$ha "Your Love is My Drug" - I would guess rehab for the singer, but perhaps we all have different answers to this question at different times in our lives.
184. Real recognize real. Young Jeezy "My Hood" - Not because this is that particularly great of a lyric, but when everybody else that comes after you quotes it - I am looking at you Waka Flocka Flame - and when every athlete and wannabe athlete quotes it, the line deserves mentioning somewhere.
183. Where I go I hope there's rum. Jimmy Buffet "Volcano" - There are countless lyrics about alcohol, and there will be plenty more in this countdown, but the simplicity of this lyric is what makes it great. We all know what Mr. Buffet will be looking for when he arrives at his next locale.
182. When she takes a sip, she buzz like a hornet. Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets. LFO "Summer Girls" - From quite possibly the single stupidest, most disjointed song in the history of mankind comes this lowlight. This makes the list because there is so much wrong with it, that it has to be great. First off, they call William Shakespeare "Billy". Second, they rhyme "hornet" with "sonnet". Third, she is buzzed after taking only one sip? Really?
181. Could it be my baggy jeans and my gold teeth that make me different than ya'll? I ain't trippin' dog, but listen dog, I was raised a little different that ya'll. Trick Daddy "I''m a Thug" - Yes it is, and yes you were.
180. You oughta know. Alanis Morissette "You Oughta Know" - This would be ranked higher except for one big mistake Morissette made; assuming that the man oughta know something. Ladies - we do not. We do not know anything.
179. Let's get lost tonight. You can be my black Kate Moss tonight. Kanye West "Stronger" - For the longest time I thought Kanye West liked dreadfully skinny women because of this line. I guess his current marriage corrects that line of thinking.
178. OK. Lil' Jon Every single song ever - This led to the Dave Chappelle skit. Because of this, I should rank this lyric higher.
177. She turns around to see what you beepin' at. It's like the summer's a natural aphrodisiac. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince "Summertime". Because it says "beepin'".
176. U N I T Y Queen Latifah "Unity" - and ...
175. R E S P E C T Aretha Franklin "RESPECT" - Never has spelling sounded so good. I really mean it. Contrast these two lines with "G L A M O R O U S" or "I'm the F to the E, R, G, the I, the E", or anything else by Fergie, and you realize sometimes it takes more than just spelling to be good, or talented; or that some people are so talented that they can even make spelling sound good. Still trying to figure out where Fabolous falls into this equation.
174. I'm gonna knock you out! LL Cool J "Mama Said Knock You Out" - Simple, emotional and understandable. This has more to do with the delivery than the actual line. This song has the best opening of any song since Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song".
173. Love don't love me. Eric Benet "Love don't love me" - Many songs contain similar lyrics and similar sentiments, but Eric Benet's cool jazz-like sound and rhythm deliver this into the rankings.
172. First I'm gonna stack my flo. (And then what?) Then I'm gonna stack some mo'. (And then what?) Close shop then I do my count. Hide the rest of my shit at my aunti house. Young Jeezy featuring Manny Fresh "And Then What" - I am not sure I could even make this up.
171. Early in the morning, risin' to the street. Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet. Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong. Got to find a reason why my money's all gone. Sublime "What I Got" - In a song with so many good lyrics, this one is somewhat profound. "Got to find a reason why my money's all gone". Sounds like some serious personal introspection going on here.
170. See now you could be a lady or a bitch girl. Still you're thicky, thicky, thicky, thick. Nelly "Thicky, Thick Girl". If you are thick, you are thick - regardless of your attitude. Thank you for clarifying that for us Nelly.
169. Uhhh Rollin' with my posse we're gettin' kinda bored - there's not another posse with more points scored. We don't walk around like criminals or flex like big gorillas; my homeboy Kid Sensation is a teenage lady killa'. Maharaji's on the def side dancin' like a freak. The girlies see his booty and their knees get weak. Larry is the white guy people think he's funny; a real estate investa' who makes a lot of money. Clockin' lots of dollas', we all got gold. Cruzin' in the Benz and ain't got no place to go. Wheelin' 23rd we saw nuthin' but thugs; the girlies was too skinny from smokin' all them drugs 'cause the rock man got 'em and their butts just dropped - the freaks look depressed 'cause the Benz won't stop. At 23rd and Union the driver broke left. Kevin shouted "Broadway it's time to get def". Sir Mix-a-Lot "My Posse's on Broadway" - This verse shows that you don't have to act like a thug to get money, or when you have money. In fact, his posse avoids the thugs. Plus, this answers one of my biggest pet peeves; that being people calling Mix-a-Lot a one-hit wonder. "My Posse's On Broadway" actually pre-dates "Baby Got Back".
168. Love should've brought you home last night. Toni Braxton "Love Should've Brought You Home Last Night" - how many people have thought these words throughout time. And, who could forget Halle Berry's paraphrasing of this line to Eddie Murphy in "Boomerang"?
As an aside - who is the prettiest singer on this list? I believe that the two main contenders have to be Toni Braxton and the songstress at number 4 (probably my choice), although I know Sinickal would definitely pick the singer at number 30. Some might consider even one of the ladies at number 105? Your thoughts?
167. Stop placin', time wastin'. I got a friend with a pole in the basement (What?) I'm just kiddin' like Jason. Nelly "Hot in Herre" - Pretty funny line that makes the list because of this story which outlines how sometimes people are just raised in different generations. So Racecar knew this lyric. She is younger, knows who Jason Kidd is, and didn't even think that my interpretation of the line could even be close. When I first heard this song, I thought the line was "I'm just killin' like Jason". I thought killin' was a double entendre, as if he was just "killin' it", but the "like Jason" was clearly a reference to Jason Vorhees from Friday the 13th. Even though we aren't that many years apart, for some cultural references, a few years means a lot. Racecar is definitely more Nelly, but I think the "killin' like Jason" works as well as the original line
166. You can new jack swing on my nuts. Tony Toni Tone as an homage to Ice Cube. For Tony Toni Tone, the line is completely nonsensical - which makes it awesome.
165. And we'll all switch places when I ring the bell. Beastie Boys "The New Style". This group definitely learned how to share-and-share-alike.
164. What you won't do, you do for love. You tried everything, but you don't give up. Bobby Caldwell "What You Won't Do For Love" - Very poignant. Who on this earth has not done something that they never thought they would do for someone they either loved or thought they loved?
163. Move aside, and let the man go through, let the man go through. Soul Coughing "Super Bon Bon" - this would be my "at-bat music" for my third at-bat during a game.
162. Fraudulent foe with the strength of Hercules. The way you on my dick must really hurt ya knees. Del tha Funkee Homosapien "Mistadabolina" - Not sure that anyone except my freshmen dorm has ever heard this song, and I am pretty sure I annoyed all of them with this one. Then one day a couple of years ago I am visiting Racecar's friends - the Bears - and Della Bear is playing this song! I really thought nobody else knew this one.
161. Return of the Mack. Mark Morrison "Return of the Mack" - This is my at-bat music for my second at-bat of any game. My first at bat as well as my fourth at-bat music are not on the list. Any guesses as to what they could be?
160. Last week I messed around and got a triple double. Ice Cube "It was a Good Day" - I just want to know how bad were the other players on the court! Was the game to 11 or 15, because if it was to 11, that is really impressive.
159. I took two weeks vacation for the honeymoon. A couple tickets all inclusive down in Cancun. I couldn't get my money back so I'm in seat 7A. I'm getting drunk on a plane. I bet the fella on the aisle thought I was crazy. 'Cause I taped your picture to the seatback right beside me. Now I've got empty mini bottles fillin' both our trays. I'm getting drunk on a plane. Buyin' drinks for everybody but the pilot, it's a party. Dierks Bentley "I'm Getting Drunk on a Plane" - This might likely end up a bit higher except for the fact that it is so new. I think once it resonates and percolates, this could definitely be top 100.
158. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Destiny's Child (Beyonce') "Bootylicious" - I don't think anybody is.
157. For the media, I got some suggestions. Fuck Marshall, ask us the questions, like "Who's D12? How we get started?" ("But what about Eminem?") Bitch are you retarded. D12 "My Band" - A group making fun of itself because it is nowhere near as popular as its lead singer, but this portion of the verse has a very important lesson: Do not think that you can control the media. You cannot.
156. With your rayon, silk, or maybe even denim. It really doesn't matter as long as you're in them. LL Cool J "Around the Way Girl" - This is the hip-hop equivalent of number 207, but LL Cool J is much, much cooler than Mel McDaniel.
155. If I was President, I'd get elected on Friday, assassinated on Saturday, and buried on Sunday. Wyclef Jean "If I was President" - If this was an allegory about being an African-American elected President in the US, thank God this song was not prophetic. If this is about Wyclef's fears about being President of Haiti, he needn't worry; he lost the election.
154. Got me waiting, anticipating. You got me thinking, I want your love. I'm trying to show you, I really, really, really want to know you. You got me thinking, I want your love. Heavy D and the Boyz "Got Me Waiting" - And it is so catchy too. Added bonus of being a hip-hop lyric in which the artist actually likes the female that is the object of the song and that she is not just some object of desire.
153. Slap it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh no! Bell Biv Devoe "Do Me" - Self-explanatory, but I know what you are thinking, how good are the other lines if this lyric is 153?
152. We don't have to take our clothes off - to have a good time. Oh no. Jermaine Stewart "We Don't Have to Take our Clothes Off" - Wait, what???
151. Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man, in a factory downtown. If I had my little way, I'd eat peaches every day, sun-soakin' bulges in the shade. The Presidents of the United States of America "Peaches" - Just absurd enough to be good, and with a side of double entendre.
150. Gave myself a stretch up, a morning yawning. Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew with Slick Rick "La-Di-Da-Di" - Who doesn't start their morning like this?
149. Is that your ass or your momma half reindeer? Nelly featuring Murphy Lee and P. Diddy "Shake Your Tailfeather" - Now that must have been a healthy derriere!
148. So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda. But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda. My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun. You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt. Sir Mix-a-Lot "Baby Got Back" - Speaking of healthy derrieres. An anthem that honors women that did (do) not have the magazine-model waifish body figure, and this lyric contains the two most quoted parts of the song - the line about Fonda, and the anaconda.
147. I picked up the car phone to perpetrate like I was talking. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince "Parents Just Don't Understand" - This line is in the countdown for nostalgia purposes, as I distinctly remember when car phones first came out, and they were big and bulky, and the primary person that had one was Zach Morris on Saved by the Bell. It is ranked this high because of the use of the word "perpetrate", which some people from my generation are still stuck on saying.
146. I'm fighting for this girl on a battlefield of love. Jay Sean featuring Lil' Wayne "Down" - It takes a simple concept first enunciated by Pat Benatar "Love is a Battlefield", and goes to the next step, where guys are literally (OK so it's figuratively) fighting on the battlefield for the objects of their affection.
This reminds me of a joke. Why do sorority girls only travel in odd-number packs? Because they literally can't even.
145. You can do it put your back into it. I can do it put your ass into it. Ice Cube featuring Mack 10 and Ms. Toi "You Can Do It". A song which succinctly describes the give and take of a healthy relationship. Plus it is prominently featured in the movie "Save the Last Dance".
144. Here's a jimmy joke about your momma that you might not like. Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Doggy Dogg "Fuck wit Dre Day" - All types of things at play in this short line: (1) A dis album against Eazy-E; (2) Playing the dozens; (3) and the use of the word "jimmy" - not as an ice cream topping. Phenomenal.
143. Poppa been smooth since days of underoos. Notorious B.I.G. "Hypnotize" - Not too many people were smooth during the days of underoos, as we were all too young to know what "smooth" was. Or, if you were of age to know what "smooth" was, I sure hope that you were not wearing underoos - even if it was underwear that's fun-to-wear.
142. All the muchachas call me big Poppa, when I throw pesos their way. Zak Brown Band "Toes in the Sand" - Of course, this is obvious; even if you are still wearing underoos.
141. She's a beast. I call her Karma. She eats your heart out. Like Jeffrey Dahmer. Katy Perry featuring Juicy J (Juicy J raps the line) "Dark Horse" - No list is complete without a cannibal reference, and I chose to leave out the Fine Young Cannibals. No wait, I didn't. They come in at number 187. Ok, you cannot have a list without two cannibal references. This would likely be ranked higher if the line that follows the above was not so horrible. "Be careful. Try not to lead her on. Shorty's heart is on steroids. Cause her love is so strong." Maybe next time I will stick to the worst lines of all times.
140. My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed. Dried up and bulging out my skull. My mouth is dry. My face is numb. Fucked up and spun out in my room. Green Day "Brain Stew" - Quite a visual painted with this line. Who has not felt this way, though?
139. Maybe eat a steak with my beans and rice. Coolio "Fantastic Voyage" - Because every good Cuban like myself knows, you eat beans and rice with a steak, not just baked potatoes. Put some hot sauce on the beans and rice and that is a meal. Every good Cuban also loves pork, so I will add the line If you got beef, fool, then eat pork chop. Coolio "Sumpin' New" - Hold on for a second, I think I am going to get something to eat.
138. You can call me dirty, and then lift up your skirt. And you want some of this dirty, God made dirt and dirt bust yo ass. Ol' Dirty Bastard featuring Kelis "Got Your Money" - Only because this line is so typical ODB, may he R.I.P. Am I the only one that wonders what is on the ODB's tombstone? Is it Russell Tyrone Jones? ODB? Ol' Dirty Bastard? Dirt McGirt? Big Baby Jesus? Can someone please check and let me know?
137. I got five on it. Grab your 40, let's get keyed. I got five on it. Messing with that Indo weed. I got five on it. It's got me stuck and not go back. I got five on it. Partner let's go half on a sack. Luniz "I Got 5 on It" - This may sound like a typical song about wanting to buy some marijuana, but if you really pay attention, it is really about the conflicting wants of society as interplayed between the consistent clashing between capitalism and socialism.
136. You. You got what I need. But you say he's just a friend. Yes you say he's just a friend. Biz Markie "Just a Friend" - A nice ditty about unrequited love by the Diabolical One.
135. Not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good. Run-DMC "Peter Piper" - This lyric ushered in a whole language of speaking the opposite, like if something is "fat", which quickly became "phat". Still impactful on society today.
134. 18 years. 18 years. She got one of your kids, got you for 18 years. I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids. His baby mamma's car and crib is bigger than his. You will see him on TV any given Sunday. Win the Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai. She was supposed to buy your shorty TYCO with your money. She went to the doctor got lipo with your money. She walking around looking like Michael with your money. Should've got that insured got GEICO for your money. Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx "Golddigger" - An interesting sample of a Ray Charles sample of an old spiritual song. It shows why some, especially the rich and famous athletes and actors, feel that the justice system is disproportionate and unfair when it comes to family law.
133. Girl you workin' with some ass yeah, you bad yeah. Juvenile featuring Mannie Fresh and Lil' Wayne "Back That Azz Up" - I think we all know what Juvenile likes in a woman.
132. You gotsta understand, Trick loves the kids. Trick Daddy featuring Big Boi and Cee-Lo "Dro in the Wind" - It is always good to see how caring some of the "thug" rappers really are and how they give their love back to the community.
131. Lump lingered last in line for brains and the one she got was sorta rotten and insane. The Presidents of the United States of America "Lump" - Not every body can be smart. The Presidents took this concept and made it funny, as opposed to number 18 in this countdown, which makes being dumb seem kinda endearing.
130. One bourbon, one scotch, one beer. George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" - Or, what I generally call "Tuesday". Bonus points because the song goes almost 3 minutes before you even hear the title line.
129. After 12 I'm worse than a Gremlin. Feed me hip-hop and I start tremblin'. Rakim "Microphone Fiend" - Rakim was simply a genius, and this line encapsulates his wit, intelligence and power.
128. It must be the ass, that got me like that. If it get any fatter man the Rule gonna have to get at her. Ja Rule featuring Jennifer Lopez and Cadillac Tah "Ain't it Funny" - Ja Rule raps this line in a song with Jennifer Lopez. I wonder from where the inspiration for the lyric came.
127. If I gotsta bring it to you cowards then its gonna be quick. DMX "Party Up" - And when DMX said this, you knew that he really meant it. It was gonna be quick.
126. Don't lie about the things you got. Salt-N-Pepa "My Mic Sounds Nice" - She will always catch you if you out-and-about frontin'.
125. Hey hey, hush that fuss. Everybody move to the back of the bus. Outkast "Rosa Parks" - This song had absolutely nothing to do with Rosa Parks, to the point where her Estate sued Outkast, not for money but to change the name of the song.
124. Uhh! Jay-Z "Every single song" - Now I admit that Jay-Z is a genius, and has such lyrics as "If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one"; "So I pull over to the side of the road and I heard 'Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?' Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low. Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know. Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo? 'License and registration and step out of the car. Are you carrying a weapon on you I know a lot of you are' I ain't stepping out of my shit all my papers legit. 'Do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?' Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back and I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that. 'Aren't you sharp as a tack or some type of lawyer or something, or somebody important or something?' Nah I ain't passed the bar but I know a little bit. Enough that you won't illegally search my shit"; and lots of other lyrics that are not even in "99 Problems" like Get that Dirt off your shoulder. But, if Jay-Z did not think this lyric was so great, he would not have used it in EVERY SINGLE SONG THAT HE HAS EVER SUNG!
123. I rock the party that rocks the body. MC Lyte featuring Puff Daddy "Cold Rock a Party". And she could definitely rock the party!
122. Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk? Lit "My Own Worst Enemy" - No. She will never forget the things you said when you were drunk. She won't forget the things you said when you were sober. She just won't forget.
121. We bought two franks and two dranks and we began walkin'. Lost Boyz "Renee" - A much smoother version of a cheap date then "We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive and ordered two Big Macs and two large fries and cokes," from "Parents Just Don't Understand".
Another story. When I was in law school, my friends played a game among ourselves where we would try to replace real lyrics to songs with athletes' names, but the lyrics had to sound as if they were the original lyrics. The easiest one to come up with was "Gotta Mo Vaughn" instead of "Gotta move on" from "Funkytown" by Lipps, Inc. Why the story is located here is because I always thought I had the best - or at least most obscure - reference, and it was from this song. The original line is "She had a tattoo, she only wanted yo to see, turned off the lights and turned up the Jodeci", which I converted to "She had a tattoo, she wanted Raul Mondesi, turned off the lights and turned up the Jodeci". However, my buddy Vic L. comes into school one day singing these words to the Gin Blossoms "Found out about You". "Ok sana Bai ul". We stopped playing the game - Vic won.
120. Players wanna play; ballers wanna ball; rollers wanna roll. R Kelly "Feelin' on Yo Booty" - I cannot believe I actually placed R Kelly on this list. Yes I can, and for one reason: another story.
Have you ever had a R. Kelly night when out and around town with your friends? This means that you can only hit on others by using lines from R. Kelly songs. If you think about it, you could play this game for weeks with lines like one of my favorites "Talk to me now or forever hold your body". That being said he is an awful, awful human being.
119. I gave her a tip much bigger than a quarter. LL Cool J "Big Ole Butt" - And none of you ladies are upset at this line because it is rapped by LL Cool J.
118. Ahhhh, I'm somewhat brain boggled. So I look to the microphone and slowly start to wobble. Snoop Doog "Tha Shiznit" - Autobiographical. From Snoop, not me.
117. Let me lay it on the line, I got a little freakiness inside. And you now that the man has got to deal with it. Adina Howard "Freak Like Me" - Don't we always have to deal with the ladies?
116. I chat eenie, meenie, minie, moe. I wreck the mic like a pimp pimps hoes. Gang Starr (Guru) "Dwyck" - Often hip-hoppers speak of hoes and pimps (noun), and of pimpin' (verb), but very rarely do you hear both in the same song, much less contiguous to each other. Guru is a genius. For a great fusion of hip-hop and jazz, take a listen to his Jazzmatazz album.
115. The sky was gold, it was rose I was taking sips of it through my nose. And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there smiling in the pictures you would take. Doing crystal meth, will lift you up until you break. Third Eye Blind "Semi-Charmed Life" - Not because the lyric uses the phrase crystal meth, but precisely because a lot of people never knew that this song uses the phrase "crystal meth". The radio edit just blurred it out so that it was inaudible, and I recently saw this song on a list of "Songs you did not know were about drugs". Really? Who didn't know? This lyric must have been really sneaky. Sneaky lyrics make the list.
114. What's your man got to do with me? Positive K "What's Your Man got to do with Me?" - Most of us have used some version of this line, both before and after the song came out.
113. The entree ain't as good without something on the side. Fabolous featuring Lil Mo "Can't Let You Go" - What happens when the reverse of the previous song happens.
112. Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do. Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you. 'Bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with, said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it. Usher "Confessions Part II" - What happens when you have something on the side.
111. And he don't know ... That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. Carrie Underwood "Before He Cheats" - What happens if you have something on the side and the girl that you been creepin' with says she's 3 months pregnant. [Editor's Note: This is not an endorsement of either cheating, or resorting to violence and/or vandalism if you find out somebody is cheating.]
110. Jail bars ain't golden gates. Those who fake, they break when they meet their 400 pound mate. Fugees "Ready or Not" - I think this was the love theme from Oz.
109. Before I leave I brush my teeth with a bottle of jack. 'Cause when I leave for the night I ain't coming back. Ke$ha "Tik-Tok" - Wow, 2 Ke$ha songs. I humbly apologize to everyone that is reading this.
108. See other guys that I've had, they tried to play all that mac shit, but every time they tried I said, "That's not it"! Salt-N-Pepa with En Vogue "Whatta Man" - This one goes out to all the Macks. They know fellas. They always know.
107. Won't you meet me at the bar. Respect big pimping. Tell me how you feel, Mama tell me what you sipping? A certified dime piece deserve Louie 1-3, 150 a shot, 3 for you and 3 for me. T-Pain "Buy You a Drank (Shawty Snappin')" - Primarily because this is a new(er) song that still uses the phrase dime piece! In this day and age? Well, at least he sings his own music. And, if you bring her three shots of Louis XIII, she probably won't say "That's not it". Probably.
106. I'm getting jacked, I'm breakin' myself. I can't believe they taking Warren's wealth. They took my rings, they took my Rolex. I looked at the brotha said "Damn, what's next?" Warren G featuring Nate Dogg "Regulate" - Because "Damn what's next?" is exactly what we all would be saying at this point. Also considered "Sixteen in the clip and one in the hold, Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold," and "I laid all them busters down, I let my gat explode. Now I'm switching my mind back into freak mode."
105. Huh, sixteens mine, create my own lines. Love for my wordplay that's hard to find. Sophomore, I aint' scared, one of a kind. All I do is contemplate ways to make your fans mine. Eyes bloodshot, stressin', chills up your spine. Huh, sick to your stomach wishin' I wrote your rhymes. Eve featuring Gwen Stefani "Let Me Blow Your Mind" - A really smooth way to say "I am better than you, you know it, and you wish you could have my help to become better".
104. I wanna get you in the Georgia Dome on the fifty yard line while the Dirty Birds kick for t'ree. And if you like in the club we can do it the DJ booth or in the back of the V.I.P. Ludacris "What's your Fantasy" - If the title of this song does not let you know what is going on, then the very first lines of the first verse sure do. It makes this list because of the random football reference that has Matt Bahr lining up for a field goal.
103. As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted. The first two letters are the same but the last is something different. It's the longest, loveliest, lean- I call it the leanest. It's another five letter word rhymin' with cleanest and meanest. Naughty By Nature "O.P.P." - Naughty by Nature somehow made the fact that he or she had a boyfriend/girlfriend fun. Admit it, how many of you are singing the rest of the song right now?
102. The rhymes you were kicking were quite bootylicious. Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Doggy Dogg (Snoop actually sang the line) "Fuck with Dre Day" - Raps ultimate battle/feud song on which Dre enlisted Snoop and the Dogg Pound to unleash the lyrical fury on Eazy-E, this song showcases just how smooth Snoop's flow is, even when just ripping apart another rapper.
101. What hurts the most, was being so close. And having so much to say. And watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been. And not seeing that loving you, is what I was tryin' to do. Rascal Flatts "What Hurts the Most" - Nobody ever said that country could not bring the heartache into a song, but instead of the I lost my woman, etc., etc., this lyric really shows the emotion of somebody keeping too much inside and not telling their feelings to another person when they should have.
100. These bitches love Sosa. Chief Keef "Love Sosa" - I told you this list was completely subjective.
98. So how the hell could you front on me? There's a thousand you's, there's only one of me. I'm trippin', I'm caught up in the moment right? Cause it's Louis Vuitton Don night. So we gon' do everything that Kan like. Heard they'd do anything for a Klondike. Well, I'd do anything for a blonde-dike. And she'll do anything for the limelight. Kanye West "Stronger" - This sums up Kanye West. Completely self-absorbed, rude, juvenile, and somewhat brilliant at what he does. The "she'll do anything for the limelight" sentence correctly sums up the entire Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Kardashian phase that society seems to favor.
97. What?! Lil' Jon. "Every Song, Video, Commercial he ever did". Lil' Jon's cultural importance to Chappelle's Show's skits cannot be overstated!
96. Straight Outta Locash, A crazy mothafucka named Gusto. I fucked ya wife, cause the bitch is a big hoe. I fucked ya sister, I fucked ya cat. I would have fucked ya mom but the bitch is too fat. CB4 "Straight Outta Locash" - This may seem like simple dribble coming from a third-rate wannabe rap group that just throws in sexual conquest references to seem cool. However, if you know CB4, you know why this is so funny.
95. It's too late to change events. It's time to face the consequence for delivering the proof; In the policy of truth. Depeche Mode "Policy of Truth" - Phenomenal concept of the song basically chastising someone for the events that occurred BECAUSE they told the truth, not because they lied. It is only ranked this low because the lines themselves are not great, even though the song is.
94. They call me Deputy Dog, now put your booty [ass] in the clink, LL Cool J "Jingling Baby" Typical playful LL, with some slang thrown in to make his point. Not a lot of rappers could get away with this lyric by the public, or by the rap community for being soft (Deputy Dog?).
93. Well I guess, I should stick up for myself but I really think it's better this way. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care. Right? Yeah yeah yeah. Now I'll relate this little bit. It happens more than I'd like to admit. Late at night, she knocks on my door. Drunk again and looking to score. Now I know, I should say no. But, that's kind of hard when she's ready to go. I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb. I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem. The Offspring "Self-Esteem" - Emotional dependence and abuse is real, and it is interesting to see it played out in the opposite fashion of the traditional gender abuse roles.
92. The next day she went to her drawer, look up her local attorney at law, went to the phone and filed the police report and then she took the guy's ass to court. Well, the day he stood in front of the judge and screamed, "She lies that little slut!" The judge knew that he was full of shit and he gave him 25 years. And now his heart is filled with tears. One night in jail it was getting late. He was butt-raped by a large inmate, and he screamed. But the guards paid no attention to his cries. That's when things got out of control. The moral of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny. But that's the way it had to be. They locked him up and threw away the key. Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind, even though he now takes it in the behind. Sublime "Date Rape" - Sublime takes every woman's "The Accused" nightmare and turns it into every man's "Oz" nightmare, but somehow the song is in someway fun - at least if you don't pay attention to the words. Plus, not many bands take this type of societal issue and present it in such a harsh way for all involved even though we "can't take pity on men of his kind".
91. Every single line, sentence, lyric, statement ever uttered Two Live Crew - "Every Song, Ever" - Just trust me on this.
90. The more I see the less I know. Michael Franti "Say Hey" - Such a happy song, with serious undertones. Especially when followed by the next line, "But I know, one thing, that I love you"!
89. Gee wheeze, baby please. Let me take you to the island of the sweet cool breeze. You don't feel like drivin' baby hand me the keys. And I'll take you to a place to set your mind at ease. Don't tickle my foot bottom, ha ha baby please. Don't play with my nose 'cause I might Achoo sneeze. Shaggy "Mr. Boombastic" - Surprisingly enough, there are more lyrics about sneezes than you would ever think, but Shaggy's coolness makes this the best.
88. Lightning crashes, an old mother dies. Her intentions fall to the floor. The angel closes her eyes. The confusion that was hers, belongs now, to the baby down the hall. Live "Lightning Crashes" - The last sentence of this lyric is the turning point to what is likely the second saddest song of all time (in my opinion).
87. I reminisce on the stress I cause, it was hell. Huggin' on my mama from a jail cell. And who'd think in elementary? Heeey! I see the penitentiary, one day. And runnin' from the police, that's right. Mama catch me, put a whoopin' to my backside. Tupac Shakur "Dear Mama" - I agree that nobody dreams of spending time in the penitentiary, at least not when in elementary school, unfortunately too many take the "Thug Life" too seriously (even more seriously than just a tattoo that says so on their torso), so that is where they are most likely to end up.
86. When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change. 'Cause you're amazing just the way you are. Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" - I know at least four females that literally melted away when they heard this line. Not figuratively, literally. Melted.
85. And gimme some of your butter pecan. Put it right there on the tip of my tongue. Hold it right jeeeah, cuz baby if I bite you I bet you like it. French vanilla's a hell of a flavor for me, with strawberries, two cherries and whipped cream. The best things are the wet dreams and uh, the rest is just a flick without a sex scene. Orally, I speak the truth cuz the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Cuz, Florida oranges and Georgia peaches when they nice and ripe, they the best for eatin'. Southern boys we crave for old slice of pie after the main course. Trick Daddy featuring Cee-Lo and Ludacris "Sugar (Gimme Some)" - Yeah, so that just happened.
84. Somethin' happened along the way, yesterday was all we had. Somethin' happened along the way, what used to be happy is sad. Earth Wind and Fire "After the Love Has Gone" - A song wondering what happened to the love they shared after it has disappeared from their relationship, sung by Phillip Bailey - the man with the greatest vocal range in popular music history, backed by the greatest band of all time.
83. She started talkin' shit, wouldn't you know? Reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe. Her father jumped out and he started to shout so I threw a right-cross and knocked his old ass out. NWA (Eazy-E) "Boyz-N-The-Hood" - Dynamite Hack "Boyz-N-The-Hood" (Remake) - Although Eazy's lyrics are a classic piece of West Coast "Gangsta Rap" - Dynamite Hack's version is truly inspired. Same exact words, but completely different feel. Think "William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet" from 1996 directed by Baz Luhrman starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. That song is also one of the best remakes ever. Not quite as good as Max-A-Million's "Sexual Healing", The Fugees' "Killing Me Softly", Pearl Jam's "Last Kiss" Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams" and "Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins, but still excellent.
82. I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and them make a change. Michael Jackson "Man in the Mirror" - Overall I think this is one of the more overrated Michael Jackson songs, but this particular chorus is a deep introspection into who Michael thinks he is and what he needs to do. And nobody needed more introspection than Michael Jackson.
81. She don't know she's beautiful. Sammy Kershaw "She Don't Know She's Beautiful" - It is wonderful when you find that this is the case. Quite often you find the exact opposite, when she thinks she is beautiful but she really is not!
80. It's hard to yell when the barrels in ya mouth. T.I. with Jay-Z "Bring Em Out" - I suppose that this is entirely accurate, although I have never experienced it myself.
79. Yo I stroll in the club with my hat down, Michael Jack style, high-steppin' who's the mack now. Fat Joe featuring Ashanti and Ja Rule "What's Luv" - Any good reference to Michael Jackson is going to make this list. If you don't believe, just see entry number 7.
78. Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough. Just a second we're not broken just bent. And we can learn to love again. Pink featuring Nate Ruess "Just Give Me a Reason" - When everybody was lusting after Brittany and Christina Aguilera and arguing over which one was better, I was in the Pink fan club. Still am.
77. I want to fuck you like an animal. Nine Inch Nails "Closer" - This song is way too subtle. I really wish that NIN would just tell us what they really want.
76. What's cooler than being cool? Ice Cold! Outkast "Hey Ya" - At least I didn't select "I'm sorry Ms. Jackson", for catchiness and repeatability.
75. Girl the way you cook a steak reminds me of the strips in Ruth Chris. Fabolous "Into You" - MMMM Ruth's Chris's!
74. Collect so much grass po-po thinking we mow lawns. Nelly featuring Murphy Lee and P. Diddy (Murphy Lee) "Shake Yo Tailfeather" - The absurdity of this line is what makes it great. It is not pretentious, in fact, it is kinda funny. I mean, if a policeman actually caught Murphy Lee with a ton of grass, that officer would know that Murphy Lee, in fact, was not a landscaper.
73. Thinkin' of a master plan. 'Cuz aint' nuthin' but sweat inside my hand. So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent. So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint. Eric B and Rakim "Paid in Full" - And with Rakim's talent and master plan, his hand was comin' up with dollar bills long after this song.
72. You're taxin' it and waxin' it and workin' it around, 'til the booty starts makin' that clappin' sound. Which is cool but your friends are chillin' in the other room. The clappin's getting louder, you don't want them to clown you. In this situation, what do you do: (What?) A, you plain and simply back up off her, B, you hit it just a little bit softer, C, you take it out and put it in her butt, Well D is what I do, so, yo listen up: I put a towel on the floor by the two inch gap under the door. Now they can't see me any more. Check the locks so they can't clock, but they can listen. There'll be no bargin' in and there'll be no dissin' (Dissin'). Digital Undergound "Freaks of the Industry" - Reading the lyrics does not do this justice. See number 71.
71. Then I go through all the fly positions: My head under her leg under my arm under her toe. She says, "I like it when you scream baby let yourself go". I hit it, split it, lick it and quit it. Digital Underground "Freaks of the Industry" - Not technically contiguous lyrics, which is why they are two separate entries, but they had to go together. Besides, this is great for two separate reasons: "My head under her leg under my arm under her toe" is separately funny from "I hit it, split it, lick it and quit it". This is a good old fashioned two-for!
70. Oh snap! These bitches they act like cats in the middle of the dance floor now they preparing to scrap. They takin' out their scrunchies and pullin' off their press-ons. The one on the right is the girlfriend, and the one on the left is the other women. Someone please call security, these girls too purty to get down to the nitty titty. I mean the nitty gritty. I mean her titty pretty. I'm trippin' being silly willy. Man go on let them hoes fight. Brooke Valentine "Girlfight" - There is nothing more that I can legitimately add to this one.
69. Pack it up, pack it in. Let me begin. I came to win battle me that's a sin. I won't tear the sack up. Punk you better back up. Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up. Get up, stand up, come on, come on throw your hands up. If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling. Mugs is a funk fest, someone's talking junk. Yo I'll bust 'em in the eye And then I'll take the punks home. Feel it, funk it, amps in the trunk. And I got more rhymes that there's cops at a Dunkin Donuts shop. Sure enough I got props from the kids on the Hill plus my mom and my pops ... I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe. If your girl steps up, I'm smacking the ho. Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs. I got more rhymes than the Bible's got psalms. And just like the prodigal son I've returned. Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned. 'Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none. If you come to battle bring a shotgun. But if you do you're a fool, 'cause I duel to the death. Trying to step to me you'll take your last breath. I got the skill, come get your fill. 'Cause when I shoot to give, I shoot to kill ... I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top. I never eat a pig 'cause a pig is a cop. Or better yet a terminator, like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Trying to play me out like as if my name is Sega. But I ain't going out like no punk bitch. Get used to one style and you know I might switch it up up and around, then buck buck get down. Put out your head then you wake up in the Dawn of the Dead. I'm coming to get ya, I'm coming to get ya. Spitting out lyrics homie I'll wet ya. House of Pain "Jump Around" - Yes, the entire song, minus the chorus. For as great as the verses are, the chorus is rather pedestrian.
68. She dreams a champagne dream. Fuel "Shimmer" - Sometimes all you have are your dreams, they might as well be of champagne. So long as it is not J. Roget or Freixenet.
67. No need to psychoanalyze or have a stiff drink. All she gotta do is just give me that wink. Neal McCoy "Wink". As much as a lot of us like alcohol, or even to try to analyze all of the problems in the world, the truth is all you really need is the attention of that special someone.
66. As soon as he buy that wine I just sneak up from behind and ask you what your interests are, who you be with, things that make you smile, what numbers to dial. You gon' be here for a while? You go call your crew, I'll go call my crew. We can rendezvous at the bar aound 2. Notorious B.I.G. "Big Poppa" - Not just a smooth lyricist, but apparently a smooth operator as well, even without his underoos.
65. I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it. Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott "Work It" - Just proving that women can succeed at sexual innuendos in lyrics just as much as men can.
64. It's been three weeks since you've been looking for your friend, the one you let hit it and never called you again. 'Member when he told you he was 'bout the Benjamins? You act like you ain't hear him then give him a little trim. To begin, how you think you really gon' pretend like you wasn't down then you called him again. Plus when you give it up so easy you ain't even fooling him. If you did it then, then you probably fuck again. Talking out your neck sayin' you're a Christian, a Muslim sleeping with the gin. Now that was the sin that did Jezebel in. Who you gon' tell when the repercussions spin. Showing off your ass 'cause your thinking its a trend. Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again. You know I only say it 'cause I'm truly genuine. Don't be a hardrock when you're really a gem. Baby girl, respect is just a minimum. Niggas fucked up and you still defending them. Now Lauryn is only human. Don't think I haven't been through the same predicament. Let it sit inside your head like a million women in Philly, Penn. It's silly when girls sell their soul because it's in. Look at where you be in hair weaves like Europeans; fake nails done by Koreans. Lauryn Hill "Doo Wop (That Thing)" - What an amazing flow when sung by Ms. Hill.
63. Eligible bachelor, million dollar boat. That's whiter than what's spillin' down your throat. Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell Williams. Several years ago, this line would not have been allowed. I firmly believe that.
62. If you want to destroy my sweater. Hold this thread as I walk away (As I walk away). Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked (Lying on the floor), Lying on the floor, I've come undone. Weezer "Undone" - Initially this seems just like a silly lyric, however, upon reflection, this is about the damage that a bad breakup can do to someone, as they actually unravel as their love leaves them. Plus, lead singer Rivers Cuomo graduated from Harvard.
As an aside, other Harvard rockers include: Bonnie Raitt (Radcliffe) and Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine, Audioslave, and now the E Street Band.
61. I got a girl in the castle, and one in the pagoda. You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda. Beastie Boys "Posse in Effect" - This line is genius because it does the typical rapper "I have lots of girls", but it does so by rhyming the star of Fish and Sal Tessio. Nowadays every rapper tries to reference "Scarface", but here the Beasties sneak in a "Godfather" reference.
60. I won't change my life; my life's just fine. Mary J. Blige "Just Fine" - Because sometimes, no matter what anybody on the outside sees, thinks, feels or believes, your life could be just the way you want it.
59. No woman, no cry. Bob Marley "No Woman, No Cry" - Such a wonderful double entendre. First, it is as if he is consoling a woman and telling her not to cry. Second, it just says that if you do not have a woman, then you will not be crying. Marley is a genius.
58. And so you call me your friend but you only want my gifts. And I'll never see you if I had not loot. Tony! Toni! Tone'! "If I Had No Loot" - Luckily, I have never been wealthy enough to have this problem.
57. I'm on a boat and, it's going fast and, I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan. Lonely Island featuring T-Pain "I'm on a Boat" - It was really difficult to just select one lyric from a song that started as farcical comedy. Others of note include: "Take a picture, trick (trick) I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch). We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp (crisp). I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies. I'm flippin burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies"; and "Never thought I'd see the day when a big boat comin my way. Believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid".
56. I met Ali he told me, "I'm the Greatest". Will Smith "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It" - Because coming from Ali, that is more than a compliment. And for those of you that don't know - "Gettin' jiggy" does not mean dancing, or dancing crazy. It means getting all dressed up and proper and the right mindset to go out, have fun, maybe drink, maybe dance, maybe meet someone. It is the whole package.
55. She's nothing like the girl you've ever seen before. Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore. I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful. David Guetta "Sexy Chick" - I think he was already disrespectful. Although this is the highest ranking EDM lyric, so it has that going for it - which is nice.
54. Well, I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison. And I went to pick her up in the rain. But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck. She got runned over by a damned old train. David Alan Coe "You Never Even Call Me by My Name" - This line made this song the best country song ever.
53. She don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone. Dead-Eye Dick "New Age Girl". This one is pretty self-explanatory.
52. All we know is all we are. Nirvana "My Apologies" - If ever a rock lyric could double as the foundation for a college philosophy class, this one would be it.
51. Couldn't get Michael Kors if you was fuckin' Michael Kors. Nicki Minaj (Big Sean featuring Nicki Minaj) "Dance (Ass)" - Intended as a slight against a rival, but even if Nicki's rival was having intercourse with Michael Kors, he only owns 12% of the three companies that bear his name.
50. I'm not easy to live with - I know that it's true. You're no picnic either, babe, and that's one of the things I love about you. Don Henley "Not Enough Love in the World" - This was a recommendation from my friend Rick Sartory, and it finds it's way all the way up to 50. Thanks Rick.
49. If I ruled the world (Imagine that). I'd free all my sons (I love 'em love 'em baby). Black Diamonds and pearls (could it be, if you could be mine, we'd both shine). If I ruled the world. Nas "If I Ruled the World" - Nas puts so much effort into his lyrics. Think about this one for a moment. "If I ruled the world" means not just if Nas ruled the world, but if someone of color ruled the world. Then that person could "free all [their] my sons". Then the black diamonds and white pearls could all shine. Pretty deep. If you are unfamiliar with Nas, start here, and then check out the rest of his songs.
48. I never met her but I can't forget her. Just my 'magination, ooo yeah, yeah, yeah. Running away with me. Oooo just my 'magination, running away with me. The Temptations "Just my Imagination (Running Away with Me)" - This could be a great song about unrequited love, except the Temptations never even bothered to meet the girl of their dreams, despite seeing her every day. "I never met her but I can't forget her" is pure genius.
47. I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of the day. Big Punisher "Still Not a Player" - Even though this is the radio edit, "day" seems smoother than "ass", even though we all know what he was talking about. Big Pun is the greatest Hispanic rapper of all time. Too bad he died at age 28.
46. Don't ask her on a straight tequila night. John Anderson "Straight Tequila Night" - Some very sage advice from the classic country singer.
45. I don't give a fuck if it's dark or not. I'm harder than me tryna park a Dodge. But I'm drunk as fuck right next to a humongous truck in a two car garage. Hopping out with two broken legs tryna walk it off. Fuck you too bitch call the cops. I'ma kill you and them loud ass motherfucking barking dogs. And when the cops came through me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house with a can full of gas and a hand full of matches and still weren't found out. Dr. Dre with Eminem "Forgot About Dre" - Admit it, you all read this to the rhythm of the song and tried to impersonate Eminem's voice and cadence.
44. In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey. Beck "Loser" - This line is genius. See, evolutionarily speaking chimpanzees are more advanced than your normal monkeys and ... never mind. If I have to explain it, you do not see why this is genius.
43. Yo the girl look soooo good, but her mind is not ready (so here we go yo). That's why I'd rather talk to a women 'cause her mind is so steady (so here we go yo). Funkmaster Flex "Here We Go" - The man speaks the truth.
42. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. John Legend "All of Me" - For all the sentimentalists out there, plus it contains a fantastic oxymoron.
41. Mama was a looker, lord how she shined. Papa was a good'n but a jealous kind. Poppa love mama, mama love men .... Mama's in the graveyard Papa's in the pen. ... Well the picture in the paper showed the scene real well. Papa's rig was buried in the local motel. The desk clerk said he saw it all real clear. He never hit the brakes and he was shifting gears. Garth Brooks "Papa Loved Mama" - Nothing like a heartfelt song about good, old-fashioned familial homicide. Not to be confused with "perpendicular, vehicular homicide" from Ludacris.
40. Then later on, on the drive home, I called her mom from a pay phone. I said I was the cops, and your husband's in jail. This state looks down on sodomy. Blink 182 "What's my Age Again?" - This was one of those, "I really didn't just hear that" lyrics. I must admit it took a couple of minutes to seep in exactly what they sang.
39. Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge. I'm try-ing not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five "The Message" - In the running for the greatest rap song of all time, if not the greatest song of all time.
38. It wasn't me. Shaggy featuring Ricardo Ducent "It Wasn't Me" - Plain, simple, and effectively expresses the message that Eddie Murphy, I mean Shaggy, wanted it to convey. Another good lyric from the song is "How could I forget that I had given her an extra key".
37. How you ain't gon' fuck? Bitch, I'm me. I'm the goddamn reason you in VIP. CEO, you don't have to see ID. I'm young, wild and strapped like T. Ali. We ain't got nothin' to worry 'bout. Whupp ass, let security carry 'em out. Watch out for my medallion, my diamonds are reckless. Feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace. Ludacris "Stand Up" - Really it is the last two sentences that make this lyric qualify this high, but the others have to be included in order to give some context to the actual line. Plus, I have seen necklaces on rappers that large.
36. Well I'm not the world's most masculine man but I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man and so is Lola. L-O-L-A Lola. The Kinks "Lola" - This last lyric of the song should not catch anyone by surprise that hears this song because of all of the foreshadowing, but it always does.
35. 1 life, 2 worlds: English/Spanish. 1 night, 2 girls: English/Spanish. Pitbull "Last Night" - I am sure that a lot of people out there hope that this could be true at some point in their lives.
34. Why must I be like that? Why must I chase the cat? It's nuttin' but the dog in me! George Clinton "Atomic Dog" - Another story. So I am in Salt Lake City for the 2002 Winter Olympics. The family friends with which I am staying live close to the start of the rail system outside of the city. I walked to the train to take it downtown for the games. I was usually one of only 4 or 5 people that rode the train from this station, but it quickly filled up at each subsequent stop. At one particular point, about 8 or 10 high school aged kids get aboard my car and sit around me. They are talking about the George Clinton show that they saw the night before and they could not believe the outrageous costumes that the band wore, especially the diaper. They were so amazed. They kept talking about it, so I had to chime in. I told them the man in the diaper was Garry Shider, the guitarist and musical director of PFunk and that he always wore a diaper. They were astounded. They had never heard such a thing before. I also was astounded that they had no idea!!!
33. Ch-chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self because shotgun bullets are bad for your health. Ice Cub "Check Yo Self" - I do not find bullets to be part of a well-balanced healthy diet. I imagine that Alex King probably ranks this line a bit higher, as much as we used to say it in law school.
32. If sexy never left then why is everybody on my shit. Justin Timberlake with Nelly Furtado and Timbaland "Give it to Me" - I am particularly partial to this lyric because I used to always ask this when Timberlake's "Sexy Back" came out. Where did sexy ever go? Sexy was always in!!! Perhaps not as in as I thought.
31. Mama's got a squeeze box. Daddy never sleeps at night. The Who "Squeeze Box" - Enough said.
30. My first name ain't baby. It's Janet, Miss Jackson if your nasty. Janet Jackson "Nasty" - Who doesn't remember girls saying this all around town every time some guy tried to ask them out right after this song came out.
29. If you don't know your past, you don't know your future. Ziggy Marley "Tomorrow People". Amen.
28. They say I gotta learn but nobody's here to teach me. If they can't understand that, how can they reach me? Coolio featuring LV "Gangsta's Paradise" - Great line for a song from the soundtrack "Dangerous Minds", but an even more biting indictment of our public inner city education system.
27. Ain't no such thing as halfway crooks. Mobb Deep "Shook Ones, Part 2" - This line has been used to cut many people down to size well before B. Rabbit used it to get the crowd behind him in his battle against Papa Doc. That battle scene against Papa Doc is great to karaoke!
26. Ain't no pussy good enough to get burnt while I'm up in it. Snoop Dogg (Dr. Dre) "Nuttin' but a G Thang" - This could have been an early urban public service announcement about using birth control, particularly wearing condoms, but with Snoop rocking the line it was very cool.
25. I see no changes. All I see is racist faces. Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races we under. I wonder what it takes to make this one better place ... let's erase the wasted. Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right. 'Cause both black and white are smokin' crack tonight. And only time we chill is when we kill each other. It takes skill to be real, time to heal each other. Tupac Shakur "Changes" - There is so much going on here, from seeing racism all around, to seeing that blacks and whites suffer from the same scourges of drugs and poverty, to seeing that it is evil in all forms that causes our problems, then realizing it's really our choices and lack of "skill".
24. Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round. Queen "Fat Bottomed Girls" - This is how you do a tribute to a female with a prominent posterior. Much classier and more complimentary than number 133.
23. Ain't it funny how a melody can bring back a memory. Take you to another place in time, it can even change your state of mind. Clint Black "State of Mind" - This is so true. You hear a song from your past and sometimes you are instantly transported to that place. It does not even matter if the memory is good, bad or indifferent. Music just has that power.
22. Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm. Depeche Mode "Enjoy the Silence" - This is completely counter to what most people believe (that communication is important), but I suppose that depends upon with whom you are communicating. Deafening lyric, at least for the relationship in question.
21. She got an earring in her tongue and she know what to do with it. Petey Pablo "Freek-a-leek" - It's called a tongue ring, but that mistake - I am sure it is not a mistake but rather it was done on purpose - is what makes this line worthy of such a high ranking.
20. I get stupid. I shoot an arrow like cupid. I use a word that don't mean nothing - like loopid. Digital Underground "Humpty Dance". This song has so many choices, including the most obvious, "In 69 my humpty nose will tickle your rear", or the less obvious, "I drink a bottle of Hennessey you got on your shelf, now just let me introduce myself". But the chosen line is so much smarter and more clever, specifically because it is so stupid and uses a made up word.
19. Don't start no shit, there won't be no shit. Youngbloodz with Lil' Jon "Damn". Just because it is accurate.
18. When it comes to brains he got the short end of the stick. Trisha Yearwood "She's in Love with the Boy" - This line is great because it focuses on two things: (1) Not everyone can have everything; and (2) it epitomizes women that constantly sell themselves short and settling for not quite everything they want/deserve.
17. I'm not a player, I just crush a lot. Big Punisher "Still Not a Player" - Easily the best of any line written as a radio edit. In fact, this line is better than the original non-edited line.
I love some radio edits that do nothing to hide the violence, sex or whatever the reason for the edit in the fist place. My absolute favorite is from Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg's Fuk With Dre Day, in which the original lyric is "Dial 1-8-7 with my dick in your mouth", but the radio edit is "Dial 1-8-7 with my gat in your mouth". How on earth does that make the line any better for radio?
16. I don't need friends that act like foes. Robe Base and DJ E-Z Rock "It Takes Two" - Another in the long line of lyrics so truthful they have to be good.
15. I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygenist. Open your mouth for about four or five minutes. Take a little bit of this fluoride rinse. Swish but don't spit it, swallow now I'm finished. Eminem "Shake That" - Yes it is overtly sexual, but the rhythm and flow of Eminem make this genius.
14. We fogged up the windows of my old Chevy. I was willing but she wasn't ready. So I settled for a burger and a grape sno-cone. I dropped her off early but I didn't go home. Alan Jackson "Chattahoochee" - Seriously? Settling for a sno-cone? This is comedic gold, and something that was likely biographical, because nobody could make this up.
13. Call before you come so I can shave my chocha. Missy Misdemeanor Elliott "Work It" - Showing the women can be as graphic sexually as the men, but somehow this line was fun and tasteful at the same time. Classic Missy.
12. Just take a good look at my face. You'll see my smile looks out of place. Look a little bit closer it's easy to trace, the tracks of my tears. Smokey Robinson and the Miracles "Tracks of My Tears" - Such a pretty song about holding things in and putting up a good face. Plus, Smokey could sing anything and make it sound happy.
11. And battlin' me is hazardous to your health, son put a quarter in your ass 'cause you just played yourself! Line by Big Daddy Kane; Song by Marley Marl featuring Masta Ace, Craig G, Kool G. Rap, and Big Daddy Kane "The Symphony" - Smooth, from one of the smoothest; profound from one of the most profound, and intimidating, from one very intimidating lyricist.
10. Silent Mourning; I wake up and you're not by my side. Noel "Silent Mourning" - Quite possibly the best, deep and hidden double entendre ever. He is mourning because she is no longer there, but the morning is also silent because she is no longer there.
9. I can not save you. I can't even save myself. Stabbing Westward "Save Yourself" - This is actually two lessons that a lot of people need to learn. First, you have to look inward and address your situation/problems first. Second, you cannot look to others to save you from yourself, only you can do that.
8. Values are in disarray prioritizing horribly. Unhappy with your riches 'cause you're piss poor morally. TI "Livin' Your Life" - Very prophetic words. A much cooler way to say money doesn't create happiness.
7. She got a light-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson; got a dark-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson. Twista (featuring Kanye West and Jamie Foxx) "Slow Jamz" - This is for all of us that remember the tremendous transformation of Michael Jackson; musically and otherwise.
6. And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me. My boy was just like me. And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon. When you comin' home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad. We're gonna have a good time then. Harry Chapin "The Cat's in the Cradle" - Probably higher for sons that have lost their dad or for dad's that have sons.
4. I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby, if we could do the unthinkable, would it make us sound crazy. Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm sayin'. If you ask me I'm ready. Alicia Keys "Unthinkable" - Such a beautiful lyric, sung by a beautiful singer!
3. Walk the streets my forefathers walked. Climb the trees my forefathers hung from. Arrested Development "Tennessee" - Powerful imagery!
2. Never trust a big butt and a smile. Bell Biv Devoe "Poison" - Truer words have never been said. Ever.
And the single greatest lyric of all time is ....
1. GETCHA GETCHA LIPS WET 'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO HAVE PEP! Salt-N-Pepa "Shoop" - So much for subjectivity!
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