Stupid People #2

So last night, I sidled up to my reserved table at one of my favorite sports bars around, Bru's Room in Boynton Beach, Florida, for a good night of watching sports and playing trivia. (Bru's Room is named for one of its proprietors, former Miami Dolphin linebacker Bob Brudzinski). Why was my table reserved, you might ask. Well, Tuesday night is trivia night, in which my boy Mark brings his company to the bar, and runs a live action trivia game in which teams compete against each other for gift certificates to the bar. My table is reserved because me and my boys usually gather at Bru's Room for trivia night. Unlike most teams, we change our name weekly. Last night, we were "The Vacuum Sealers".

Anyway, sitting at my table, with good views of the Marlins game, the Penguins decimation of the Hurricanes, the Cavs-Magic, as well as the actual NTN trivia, I was all set with my beer and wings. Then the trivia started.

Now, most of the trivia night customers are regulars. That is why the bar pays Mark to show up - he brings lots of eaters and drinkers. We recognize most of the usual suspects. However, we don't recognize this kid (mid-20's) that is sitting with what looks like his brother and a girl (not sure to whom she belonged). He is already sauced and beginning to get loud. Now, it is not quite 7:40. I foresee problems. I could not have foreseen what actually happened.

Now, I am going to skip the formality of actually listing reason #2 why we hate stupid people, as this scenario should be told without any distractions. Suffice to say, we hate stupid people.

So, the trivia game lasts about 2 hours. Now I mentioned that Beevis was already drunk when I arrived, so imagine his demeanor two hours later. He is screaming and yelling at everything. Jumping up and down at the bar. Slamming his hand on the bar when his team gets questions right. Yelling and screaming when he gets questions wrong. One of his favorite statements was "I may be young, but I am strong!" [Ed. note - he wasn't that strong]. Throughout the trivia game, he almost starts several altercations with various patrons. This is going to get ugly.

Then - the magic happened. My boy Tigger stated that it was the funniest thing that he had ever heard. It came straight from the mouth of Beevis. Now, we all say dumb things from time-to-time. We mishear questions during trivia, we are thinking of something else. However, nothing, and I mean nothing can excuse this statement.

The trivia question was, "If you spell out each number in succession, how long will it take you until you use the letter 'a'?"

We then hear, very loudly, Beevis jumping up and down yelling, "Mark it down. It's 8! 8! Mark it down, it's 8." Not quite mark it foul, but amusing nonetheless when you realize how adamant Beevis was that the answer to the question was 8. This doesn't even include the fact that teams are supposed to write down their answers and turn them in to the trivia guy, not yell them across the bar.

Surely you see where we are going here. As most of you readers will know - the number 8 is spelled "e-i-g-h-t", not "a-t-e". After Beevis' declaration, I sauntered up to Mark, the trivia guy, and said please tell me how he wrote down his answer. Beevis did not write the number "8", but rather spelled out "eight", failing to notice the lack of the letter "a".

Shortly thereafter, Beevis was cut-off and asked to leave, so I don't know what happened the rest of the evening, but I assure you, I kept laughing.

For those of you who haven't figured it out - the answer was "1000" or "one thousand".

For those that like trivia, I will give you two questions, both bonus questions from last night. The first is family fued style - which college football teams have won the most bowl games? The second was jeopardy style, which city has the most fountains? Your guesses in the comments.