This is meant to be the definitive word on the Manti Te'o story. But, since lots and lots of people have pretty much said all there is to say, I have nothing really more to add. So this is simply just a collection of some of the best, and funniest comments I have seen on television, heard on radio, or read on twitter and facebook. Wherever possible, attribution is included (and wherever I can read the name in my notes). After this, I swear I will not make any more comments regarding Te'o and his fake girlfriend, at least until the draft.
The Manti Te'o Story: The first story that even Twitter couldn't keep up with. - Darren Rovell
Te'o sounds like the kind of guy who would send his life savings to a well-connected Nigerian banker in trouble. - Sam Stein
Reminding today's youth that someone who you have never met can never, ever be called your girlfriend. - Darren Rovell
Hey [to girlfriend], do you pinky promise that you're real? - Logan Morrison
These Te'o jokes are all very funny, but let's all try and remember that a person who never existed is dead. - Seth Meyers
Weird how the Notre Dame statement didn't mention the hoax of them being in the national championship game. - Name illegible in my notes
Lance Armstrong said "I've never tested positive for a fake girlfriend". - Author Unknown
This gives new meaning to the term "fantasy football". - Conan O'Brien
I don't see the big deal, pretty much every guy I know has a fake girlfriend. - Jason Dufner
According to Kevin Garnett, Manti Te'o's ex-girlfriend smells like Frosted Flakes. - Jason Whitlock
Deadspin reports that ND LB Manti Te'o's girlfriend's death was a hoax cuz she never existed! Neither did ND's defense! - DL Hughley
Boston College is one Catholic institution whose Linebackers don't need to make up a dead girlfriend to gain sympathy. - I don't remember.
I once had a fake girlfriend. She was really hot. - Jason Dufner
I'm pretty sure if I was a 21 year old star football player at Notre Dame I wouldn't be dating someone online. I'd probably also have 8 kids. - Logan Morrison
A.J. McCarron's girlfriend is real and spectacular. - Paraphrasing Brent Musberger
I wonder if Te'o's facebook relationship status is now listed as "it's complicated" - Eric Erickson
Happy Hour - Imaginary Girlfriends Drink Free #lennaykukocktails - Samantha Steele
I wish Te'o was dating Nicki Minaj and her dumbass wasn't real. - Red Forman (Twitter Handle)
Manti Te'o, thank you for taking single problems to a whole 'nother level. - Melissa Montes
And that's all folks.
Showing posts with label Manti Te'o. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manti Te'o. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Te'o Pod
So, as some of the details of the Manti Te'o - Lennay Kekua relationship have come to light, I wanted to get some information first-hand. I traveled across the state to Bradenton, where Te'o is training for the NFL combine, to see if he would speak to me first hand. Having no idea who I am, Te'o refused the interview. But in doing so, he hastily dropped his iPod, which I, of course, found it to be my duty to review. He happened to have a mix named "Lennay Kekua". And it consists of these 15 songs:
15. Missing You - John Waite
14. Finlandia - Sibelius
13. Have You Seen Her - Chi-Lites
12. Brown-Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
11. Computer Love - Zapp and Roger
10. C'Mon Babe - 2 Live Crew
9. Dude Looks Like a Lady - Aerosmith
8. Digital Display - Ready for the World
7. Have You Seen Her - Donnel Jones
6. Country Roads - John Denver
5. Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
4. Have You Seen Her - MC Hammer
3. Just My Imagination - The Temptations
2. I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You - Savage Garden
1. Imaginary Lover - Atlanta Rhythm Section
So there you have it - definitive proof that Te'o knew something was suspicious about the Kekua situation. Either that, or he has really eclectic musical tastes.
15. Missing You - John Waite
14. Finlandia - Sibelius
13. Have You Seen Her - Chi-Lites
12. Brown-Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
11. Computer Love - Zapp and Roger
10. C'Mon Babe - 2 Live Crew
9. Dude Looks Like a Lady - Aerosmith
8. Digital Display - Ready for the World
7. Have You Seen Her - Donnel Jones
6. Country Roads - John Denver
5. Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
4. Have You Seen Her - MC Hammer
3. Just My Imagination - The Temptations
2. I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You - Savage Garden
1. Imaginary Lover - Atlanta Rhythm Section
So there you have it - definitive proof that Te'o knew something was suspicious about the Kekua situation. Either that, or he has really eclectic musical tastes.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Everybody's All-American
As college football has concluded its 2012 campaign and we are 1 step closer to a playoff to decide the national champion, this seems as if it is the right time to name the Pepster All-Americans. This is my reflection of the best players from college, and by no means is meant to indicate who will be high draft picks, or as my prognostication as to which players will become good or great professionals. It is simply who I thought played the best last year. Although there are more than 11 offensive and defensive players listed, the team is selected to account for the various offenses and defenses used around the country (trip receivers, spread, 3-4, 4-3, etc.). I also choose some backups to account for different styles of players. I chose to explain my picks in some instances, and not in others. Why? Because I feel like it. Now here are the Pepster 2012 All-Americans.
Offense
QB - Johnny Manzell, Texas A & M; Jordan Lynch, Northern Illinois; Geno Smith, West Virginia- Manzell needs no explanation. Lynch set the record for most rushing yards by a quarterback and Smith put up ludicrous numbers - which he had to do because his defense was ludicrously awful!
RB - Kenjon Barner, Oregon; Montee Ball, Wisconsin, Stefphon Jefferson, Nevada - If you are asking why Barner and Ball, then you are not a true college football fan. Stefphon Jefferson because he was second in yards, second in touchdowns scored and first in "he spells his name, How?" Duke Johnson will be on this list next year - Guaranteed!
WR - Marquise Lee, USC; Stedman Bailey, West Virginia; DeAndre Hopkins, Clemson; Terrance Williams, Baylor - Lee had 118 receptions for 1721 yards; Bailey had 114 receptions for 1622 yards and 25 TDS!!!! Hopkins had only 82 catches for 1405 yards, but 18 TDs, while Williams had an astounding 1832 yards - on 97 catches - after losing Robert Griffin III.
TE - Zach Ertz, Stanford - and since nobody uses TEs anymore, no Tyler Eifort.
T - Luke Joeckel, Texas A & M; Cyrus Kuandijo, Alabama; D.J. Fluker, Alabama. Joeckel is by far the best offensive lineman in the country, and well, did you see Alabama's running game?
G - Chance Warmack, Alabama; Cyril Richardson, Baylor - Once again - Alabama's offensive line and as for Richardson, just watch the Kansas State tape, with Lache Seastrunk constantly running up the middle.
C - Barret Jones, Alabama - Seriously, they were that good.
Defense
DE - Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina; Damontre Moore, Texas A & M; Bjoern Werner, FSU - Clowney - just for the bowl game hit. Yes THE Bowl Game HIT! Moore because A & M played a lot more than just offense. Werner is most people's starter, but I thought he just took too many plays off.
DT - Star Lotulelei, Utah; Sharif Floyd - Lotulelei might have been the best player of which you have never heard. Floyd was a beast that anchored a darn good Florida Gator defense this year (and to appease the Gator fans before they see that I did not include Matt Elam on my team).
OLB - Jarvis Jones, Georgia; Khaseem Greene, Rutgers; C.J. Mosley, Alabama - Jones needs no explanation - but he did lead the country in sacks, and the only reason Greene needs an explanation is because nobody watches Rutgers. Mosley is phenomenal, and to be honest, the only reason I have Greene ahead of him is that I really like watching Greene play.
ILB - Manti Te'o, Notre Dame; Arthur Brown - Kansas State - Te'o received most of the acclaim and all of the apostrophes, but Arthur Brown can flat play defense as well.
CB - Dee Milliner, Alabama; Johnthan Banks, Mississippi State; Jordan Poyer, Oregon State - Milliner was my MVP of the BCS Championship game, and Banks allowed Mississippi State to play an extra safety in the box against all of the tough SEC offenses. Poyer had 7 interceptions.
S - Phillip Thomas, Fresno State; Ed Reynolds, Stanford; Eric Reid, LSU - Thomas led the country with 8 interceptions, while Ed Reynolds anchored a tough, tough Cardinal defense. Eric Reid is included because the LSU defense was way too good to not have someone on the team, and I personally found Barkevious Mingo incredibly disappointing - and I can give lots of examples, if you prefer.
Now for my Matt Elam aside. I attended 3 Florida games and watched at least a portion of every other game. While Elam is a talent, (he was a consensus All-American for everyone else and is the highest rated safety in the draft - to date), he often runs himself out of plays, is often out-of-position, over pursues way too much, is way too eager to make the big hit/play rather than make a tackle and takes stupid - and I mean STUPID - penalties, often personal fouls. I personally saw that in the LSU game there were times where Elam was on the bench in the second half for several plays - and not for an injury or equipment reasons either. In fact, his signature play, running the receiver down and causing the fumble in the LSU game, only happened because he bit horribly on the play-action fake and was WAY out of position. I will give him credit for not giving up on the play, though.
Special Teams
K - Cairo Santos, Tulane - 47 - 48 on the year, and that miss was on an extra point. Plus, my Palm Beach County brethren, the Palm Beach County Sports Commission, felt he was the best kicker in awarding him the Lou Groza award. This was a category that should have, and was, fought over by the 3 Florida kickers, Dustin Hopkins, Caleb Sturgis and Jake Wieclaw, but Santos rose above them all.
P - Kyle Christy, Florida - Although Christy only finished seventh in punting with a 45.8 yard (Ryan Allen of Louisiana Tech had an astounding 48 yard average, Christy affected each and every game with his punts, giving the Gators great field position on subsequent drives after pinning the opponents deep in their own endzone, and the Gators desperately needed the short field with their offense.
R - Marcus Murphy - Missouri - He had a 24.1 yard kickoff return average with 1 touchdown and a 13.9 yard punt return average with 3 touchdowns. I would love to put Duke Johnson here, but he didn't return any punts I could divide the return duties, but then I would just be playing favorites.
Offense
QB - Johnny Manzell, Texas A & M; Jordan Lynch, Northern Illinois; Geno Smith, West Virginia- Manzell needs no explanation. Lynch set the record for most rushing yards by a quarterback and Smith put up ludicrous numbers - which he had to do because his defense was ludicrously awful!
RB - Kenjon Barner, Oregon; Montee Ball, Wisconsin, Stefphon Jefferson, Nevada - If you are asking why Barner and Ball, then you are not a true college football fan. Stefphon Jefferson because he was second in yards, second in touchdowns scored and first in "he spells his name, How?" Duke Johnson will be on this list next year - Guaranteed!
WR - Marquise Lee, USC; Stedman Bailey, West Virginia; DeAndre Hopkins, Clemson; Terrance Williams, Baylor - Lee had 118 receptions for 1721 yards; Bailey had 114 receptions for 1622 yards and 25 TDS!!!! Hopkins had only 82 catches for 1405 yards, but 18 TDs, while Williams had an astounding 1832 yards - on 97 catches - after losing Robert Griffin III.
TE - Zach Ertz, Stanford - and since nobody uses TEs anymore, no Tyler Eifort.
T - Luke Joeckel, Texas A & M; Cyrus Kuandijo, Alabama; D.J. Fluker, Alabama. Joeckel is by far the best offensive lineman in the country, and well, did you see Alabama's running game?
G - Chance Warmack, Alabama; Cyril Richardson, Baylor - Once again - Alabama's offensive line and as for Richardson, just watch the Kansas State tape, with Lache Seastrunk constantly running up the middle.
C - Barret Jones, Alabama - Seriously, they were that good.
Defense
DE - Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina; Damontre Moore, Texas A & M; Bjoern Werner, FSU - Clowney - just for the bowl game hit. Yes THE Bowl Game HIT! Moore because A & M played a lot more than just offense. Werner is most people's starter, but I thought he just took too many plays off.
DT - Star Lotulelei, Utah; Sharif Floyd - Lotulelei might have been the best player of which you have never heard. Floyd was a beast that anchored a darn good Florida Gator defense this year (and to appease the Gator fans before they see that I did not include Matt Elam on my team).
OLB - Jarvis Jones, Georgia; Khaseem Greene, Rutgers; C.J. Mosley, Alabama - Jones needs no explanation - but he did lead the country in sacks, and the only reason Greene needs an explanation is because nobody watches Rutgers. Mosley is phenomenal, and to be honest, the only reason I have Greene ahead of him is that I really like watching Greene play.
ILB - Manti Te'o, Notre Dame; Arthur Brown - Kansas State - Te'o received most of the acclaim and all of the apostrophes, but Arthur Brown can flat play defense as well.
CB - Dee Milliner, Alabama; Johnthan Banks, Mississippi State; Jordan Poyer, Oregon State - Milliner was my MVP of the BCS Championship game, and Banks allowed Mississippi State to play an extra safety in the box against all of the tough SEC offenses. Poyer had 7 interceptions.
S - Phillip Thomas, Fresno State; Ed Reynolds, Stanford; Eric Reid, LSU - Thomas led the country with 8 interceptions, while Ed Reynolds anchored a tough, tough Cardinal defense. Eric Reid is included because the LSU defense was way too good to not have someone on the team, and I personally found Barkevious Mingo incredibly disappointing - and I can give lots of examples, if you prefer.
Now for my Matt Elam aside. I attended 3 Florida games and watched at least a portion of every other game. While Elam is a talent, (he was a consensus All-American for everyone else and is the highest rated safety in the draft - to date), he often runs himself out of plays, is often out-of-position, over pursues way too much, is way too eager to make the big hit/play rather than make a tackle and takes stupid - and I mean STUPID - penalties, often personal fouls. I personally saw that in the LSU game there were times where Elam was on the bench in the second half for several plays - and not for an injury or equipment reasons either. In fact, his signature play, running the receiver down and causing the fumble in the LSU game, only happened because he bit horribly on the play-action fake and was WAY out of position. I will give him credit for not giving up on the play, though.
Special Teams
K - Cairo Santos, Tulane - 47 - 48 on the year, and that miss was on an extra point. Plus, my Palm Beach County brethren, the Palm Beach County Sports Commission, felt he was the best kicker in awarding him the Lou Groza award. This was a category that should have, and was, fought over by the 3 Florida kickers, Dustin Hopkins, Caleb Sturgis and Jake Wieclaw, but Santos rose above them all.
P - Kyle Christy, Florida - Although Christy only finished seventh in punting with a 45.8 yard (Ryan Allen of Louisiana Tech had an astounding 48 yard average, Christy affected each and every game with his punts, giving the Gators great field position on subsequent drives after pinning the opponents deep in their own endzone, and the Gators desperately needed the short field with their offense.
R - Marcus Murphy - Missouri - He had a 24.1 yard kickoff return average with 1 touchdown and a 13.9 yard punt return average with 3 touchdowns. I would love to put Duke Johnson here, but he didn't return any punts I could divide the return duties, but then I would just be playing favorites.
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