The Name Game

A good title to a high-octane sporting event just gives the event that extra dose of anticipation and greatness. The Thrilla in Manilla, The Rumble in the Jungle, The War By The Shore. Just the names alone evoke detailed imagery of the sporting event they represent.

However, not every single freakin' game needs a name, especially not a run-of-the-mill top 5 collegiate battle in which one school's recent lack of speed has caused it to be simply overrun by talented schools that do possess such speed. (I am looking at you Ohio State). Is the number 1 versus number 5 game one that I will watch? Yes. Is it a game to which I am looking forward? Yes. Will it be one of those classics that we will always remember throughout time? Absolutely not, as Ohio State is going to get run out of the Coliseum. If that is the case, why does the ABC/Disney family of networks insist on calling this came "The Collision at the Coliseum". It is an asinine moniker for a game that might be decided by 30 points. (OK - most likely 24).
Given the possible outcome, and the fact that most events must have titles now, how about this one:

THE SUCKFEST IN SOUTH CENTRAL!!!

Between how bad Ohio State will play, and the ass-kissing amongst all of the celebrites on the sideline, that is the most likely occurrence. A huge Suckfest.