It's championship Monday, and we are wondering if we are going to see our fourth consecutive quality/exciting Final Four matchup. Here's a hint - we don't, as whistles were in abundance. The referees are clearly the MVPs. Let's just say that we had a much better day than the referees.
6:45 Pepster awakens.
7:15 Sinickal rises - but does not awaken. Everyone else follows shortly behind.
7:15 - 10:30 We all do a little bit of work as it is Monday, which makes it a work day.
9:15 The Dan Lebatard show has the following polls:
1. Which is better, first place or second place?
2. Is the golf snitch the worst person in the world?
Pepster clearly answers "Yes" to the latter.
10:00 - 12:00 Nonstop laughs as a
How I Met Your Mother mini-marathon is on television.
12:45 The road to Glendale, but first a stop for lunch with Big Si (Dad).
12:58 Arrive at All American Modern Sports Grill.
13:01 Tony orders Guinness, to settle his stomach.
13:05 "Hello Friends". The entire crew realizes that Masters week has begun, and toast to that. Contemplate what would happen to the world if we were to win the Final Four and Masters tickets lotteries in the same year.
13:07 Sinickal regales us with the story of the time Hopps placed a winning bet in Vegas for him and, after losing the ticket, paid Sinickal back for the price of the bet.
13:18 Big Si inquires if there is grilled cheese on the menu, and the bartender - Candace W - responds "We have a kids grilled cheese. We don't have a big boy grilled cheese". Little did we know that this was just the beginning.
13:19 After discussions with the group about how the restaurant does not have onion rings or Heineken (we did not want any Heineken anyway), Pepster orders a side of onion rings. Candace instinctively raisers her pimp hand, but quickly lowers it.
13:20 Hopps orders a steak salad with an extra side of steak. Basically he is Fletcher ordering a steak sandwich, a side a fries ... and a steak sandwich. Unfortunately Candace would not let us put it on the Underhills tab.
13:21 Tony calls time of death on the Red Sox season.
14:00 While using a container as a makeshift wing plate, Sinickal remarks it was only because he didn't have a wing plate. After being pointed to a white plate right in front him that was clearly hidden because it was sitting in the open on a white countertop, Sinickal remarks, "All white things look alike to me". Sinickal then asks Candace, who made a face at that remark if she was white. Candace replied, "Only the worst parts". She is fitting in nicely with the group.
14:03 Discussing the pending baseball season, especially since all of us support different teams. Hopps turns to Pepster, the Marlins fan, remarking "Aren't you a pitcher short?"
14:08 Sinickal is contemplating ordering something else small, and inquires if they sell cups of chili. When informed that cups of chili are not an option, he asks how big the bowls are, to which Candace responds by pointing to a bowl ordered by a guy next to us at the bar. Sinickal determines, "That's a little too big" to which Hopps responds, "That's what she said". Candace, not missing a beat, counters. "She never said that!". It is officially open-season on Hopps.
14:13 Hopps to Candace, "Can you tell them to stop picking on me?" Candace, "Mom, Dad, tell them to stop picking on me."
14:31 Hopps finds out that Candace is 1/4 Asian, which as we all know from previous posts is Hopps preference. He informs Candace of his preference to which Candace asserts, "So he is the bigot and misogynist in the group." Hopps, trying to redeem himself states "what good is sex without misogyny." Pepster, speaking slowly says, "No Hopps. She said misogyny, not massagyny."
14:38 Hopps, as a reminder of previous nights, sent a picture that he took of the shot girl to Sinickal. Sinickal leans over to show Tony and Pepster. Hopps leans over as he wants to see too. Sinickal says, "Dude, you just sent it to me."
14:39 Revisiting our previous discussion, Candace tells us that "Usually guys that date exclusively Asians are ... insecure".
14:41 Hopps tells Candace that the onion rings taste great. Candace instinctively returns fire. "We do not have onion rings you piece of shit".
14:43 We find out that the 1/4 Asian in Candace is Filipina. Hopps and her discuss that the Phillipines themselves are a hidden gem, and cheap. Hopps says that he is going for a month next year, and that it is going to cost about $50. Candace inquires, "So, are you saving up?" Hopps is just getting blistered.
14:52 A cougar walks in and sits next to this really young guy that is not her son (or at least we hope not) that has been at the bar for a while. Tony tells Sinickal that she must be another Chicago fan. Well, "At least she likes the Cubs".
14:54 Some discussions among the group about languages that we collectively speak; the discussion spawns from last night's Tagalog episode. Candace hears that Tony speaks fluent Italian, comes over, looks at Tony and says, "Italian is my kryptonite". Tony - not picking up on this blatant signal - says, well, nothing. Hopps: "He is no longer allowed to make fun of me!"
14:55 Sinickal glosses Tony "Koothrappali".
14:59 Candace comes back, declares that she is just like Jamie Lee Curtis' character in
A Fish Called Wanda, and even starts her own impersonation of that character. Koothrappali again says nothing.
15:02 Candace informs us that it is now Happy Hour and asks if we want more beer. Sinickal states that "We are not dissuaded by price from drinking big." Candace: "Alright tough guy".
15:22 As The Philadelphia Phillies Odubel Herrera reaches the plate on one of the games on the televisions in front of us, Sinickal and Pepster decide that only home runs that include a bat flip should count and they immediately try to figure out the most efficient way to calculate this for the season. Herrera hits a shot that goes off the way for a double. So close.
15:35 While looking at one of the accoutrements we brought for the tournament, Big Si (Dad) asks Sinickal where he got it. Sinickal tells him, "Amazon, where I get everything". Pepster asks Sinickal to go to Amazon to buy Koothrappali some game.
15:37 Big Si (Dad) talks about his Aleska and how she doesn't really respond. Sinickal tells him that it is "Because it is pronounced Alexa". Big Si (Dad), "You guys don't miss any opportunity, do you?"
15:49 "Show me your MomFax".
15:53 The Los Angeles Dodgers Yasmani Grandal hits his second home run of the game, promptly flips his bat. Sinickal and Pepster high five while Pepster remarks that he knew his Cubans would not let him down.
15:54 Speaking of Cuban baseball players. Sinickal doing some research on bat flips, finds out that earlier in the Dodgers' game Yasiel Puig batflipped after being intentionally walked. INTENTIONALLY WALKED!
16:01 The group bids adieu to Big Si (Dad), and head off to Glendale. A much longer lunch than we expected, and we forgot about rush hour.
17:10 As we make the exit to the stadium, we see two older gentlemen at the light well in front of us both get out of their car. Since the car is in our lane we are hoping it isn't car problems. Then we see a shadowy figure come out from under the underpass, talk to the two men, and then the men get back in their car. We think they just stopped to buy meth. Apparently a nearby cop did too, because he walked over and made the guys pull over after the light turned green.
17:15 We learned and we adapted since Saturday. We are parked. A bit farther out in the outlet mall parking lot, but still in the same basic vicinity as Saturday.
17:21 Thank you for everything you have!
17:23 End up walking at the same pace as a blonde girl from North Dakota who is walking to meet her friends. Her and Koothrappali strike up a bit of conversation during the walk. Hopps, "NOW he starts to throw game?"
17:39 While out on the patio of Bar Louie pre-gaming, a girl in a South Carolina dress walks by in the promenade of Westgate Plaze. Another guy looks at her and says, "Go Cock". The sophomoric jokes about South Carolina's mascot were myriad this weekend.
18:11 Inside University of Phoenix Stadium. Sixty-Six percent success rate tonight, up from 50% Saturday night. We have learned and adapted.
18:15 While in the concessions line for our gametime soda, two ladies end up in line behind us. One has a baby blue UNC on her cheek, is wearing a baby blue UNC shirt and is obviously rooting for UNC. Her friend with a baby blue UNC on her cheek, moves over her long hair off her shoulder so that we can see her garnet bra strap. She is a South Carolina fan.
18:17 While still discussing their fandom, one in our group says, "Go Cock" to which she adds, "ssssss. Cockssssss".
18:19 Sinickal inquiring of the South Carolina lady asks if her face burns because of the temporary UNC tatoo. She responds, "I've had worse things on my face."
18:20 UNC fan, mad because we won't let her skip in line since she is actually a fan of one of the teams, and because her friend is getting more attention, leaves the line.
18:21 Game time - Radio Silence.
Notes from the first half: The kids behind us from Saturday return. They are much more subdued. Strangely - it is this game that they choose to not complain about the ref. My guess is they had a talking to by their parents before gametime.
A Gonzaga fan - and likely current student - who is in the very last row, yells at Joel Berry II "How's your history class?" Hopps knowing that there is no way Berry can hear this guy yells back, "How's your physics class?"
Notes from the second half: Good Lord there are so many fouls. Just ridiculous. This ranks up there as one of the worst finals games ever. Sinickal and Pepster debate whether that winner is Connecticut-Georgia Tech or Maryland - Indiana.
A critical jump ball that awarded North Carolina a crucial possession late in the game was an incorrect call as Kennedy Meeks' hand was on the out-of-bounds line before the jump ball was called. Sinickal says he is going to e-mail the NCAA to make them overturn the play and assess North Carolina a 10 point penalty. Yes, we are still livid about the Lexi Thompson ruling.
One Shining Moment showed exactly 3 plays from the championship game. It seemed like a long time for them to show
One Shining Moment, so we believe they had to re-cut some footage as they just didn't have enough plays to fill the allotment reserved for the championship game.
The loudest cheer during
One Shining Moment was for Luke Maye's game-winning shot in the Elite 8 against Kentucky. This means that the loudest cheer for all of the highlights for a southern school was when a white guy hit a shot.
Deadspin countered with
Dumb Shining Moment, an over 2 minute long video showing just every foul call from the game.
21:28 At Buffalo Wild Wings patio to let some of the crowd out of the area. A Gonzaga sorority is on both sides of a makeshift barrier between the patio and the street. Half of the sorority is sitting down in a parking spot outside the fence. We see exactly what is going on. They are waiting on a table, and only those over 21 can be on the patio drinking and those sitting in parking spot are not 21 yet. They are going to be sitting for a long time.
21:30 Guy walking down street in front of Buffalo Wild Wings with an attractive companion. He's wearing a basketball jersey with "Ammo" on the back. Probably shooting blanks.
21:35 Two young male Oregon students - definitely inebriated, are trying to woo the sorority by yelling loudly, "What is a Tar Heel anyway?" Hopps looks at the guy and says, "Champions". Drunk guy, struggling for a response looking at Hopps' Red Sox shirt, says "What is that?". Hopps responds, "Also champions." Oregon dude, "Oh yeah, but that's the wrong sport. Go to Opening Day or something". Sinickal turns around and this guy sees his Syracuse shirt. He goes in on Sinickal with, "They weren't even in the Final Four". Sinickal, "At least we have won one". These two guys are now embarrassed and leave the sorority girls.
21:42 "
America, Fuck Yeah!"
21:50 Guy walks up wearing a North Carolina onesie, and the sorority flocks to him. This guy is in his 40s and this leads to the line, "You don't have many of us in Spokane". Sorority member, "You are right." Hopps, "If you had a couple of more of us you would have won tonight.
21:51 While watching the guy in the North Carolina onesie, Sinickal declares that he is purchasing a Syracuse onesie, and growing a James Harden beard. We are all looking forward to San Antonio 2018
22:03 Sinickal asks one of the outdoor bartenders if he can leave his beer on the table while he goes to the men's room. She says "That's fine, but I am going to roofie it." Sinickal gives her some life advice. "If you tell someone you are going to roofie them, it becomes a pick-up line."
22:14 Calamine lotion.
22:20 The Gonzaga girls finally get their table! As they are walking in someone asks why they are all wearing American flag decorated clothes. One responds that Gonzaga's colors are red, white and blue, like America. Sinickal remarks that it is not like America, it's Spokane. She says, "I don't get it". Sinickal says, "I know."
23:23 Head to the downtown Pheonix "Legends Entertainment District". This is not legendary as most places are closed. We are told that Copper Blues is open so we go. We are then told they have no food. Bartender sends us to Seamus McCaffrey's as they serve food until 2.
23:55 Sit at the bar at Seamus McCaffrey's. Ask for a menu. "Sorry guys, kitchen is closed". We leave.
23:59 At Hanny's and not only do they serve food until 1, they are packed. Yeah food.
00:38 Contemplate heading to the host bar, decide to call it a night. San Antonio is only a year away.
